The Gift of Gab

When Vanity isn't so Fair

2010-03-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

So today on CNN.com I stumbled across an article "Can talent outweigh size in Hollywood?" Before I go on, just look at the picture above and what do they all have in common? The title of this is cover is "A New Decade, A New Hollywood" These are the faces of the "New Hollywood" now many have asked, why Zoe Saldana (who's not overweight but she's not white either) or Oscar nominated actess Gabourey Sidibe weren't on the cover? Howard Stern, being the shock jock that he is goes on air and says "What movie could she play in?" Stern questioned on his live broadcast. "You feel bad because everyone pretends that she's part of show business (why isn't she part of show business?), and she's never going to be in another movie." the growing sentiment seems to be tht he's only saying what everyone else is thinking. Jeffrey Wells says "Gabby is a lovely person and a fine actress, but the hard fact is that she's way, way too fat," adding that the actress will suffer from health problems as well as limited career opportunities if she doesn't lose weight. Since when is Hollywood concerned about health? Every other week we find out about another celebrity dying of an overdose, prescription drugs, or suicide. So she's fat, but who's business is that? Wells states"I don't want Gabby to not work, but the only roles she'll have a shot at playing will be down-market moms and hard-luck girls working at Wal-Mart," Wells continued. "No casting director would choose her to play anyone in the upscale executive world ... because no one in the executive world looks like her." In the modeling industry, there is extreme pressure for women to be skinny, sometimes dangerously skinny, they develop eating disorders that are sometimes fatal. Models don't look like the average American, in fact statistics show that America is becoming more overweight so riddle me this...Speaking in terms of film, is life supposed to imitate art or does art imitate life? What is to be said of talent? Gabby's life was far from her role in Precious, she pulled out the authentic grit and emotion to carry out one of the best performances i've seen in awhile. Why can't she be great? It begs the question of the relevance of beauty and success, should talent go unnoticed for the fat, short, darker skinned, less physically attractive? Gabourey is a classic example of why you should dare to be who you are, dare to step outside of your shell and be great because no one would have ever imagined or believed if you told thim that she would be nominated for an Oscar. People are still in disbelief as if it were some green one eyed unicorn that will never happen again. We are to defy stereotypes, we are to love ourselves, and we are to be examples for those coming from the rear. And by "we" I mean anyone affected by adversity, or that isn't the cookie cutter image of perfection. People's perceptions and opinions are just that, perceptions and opinions...I'm rooting for Gabourey, if she loses weight fine, but if she is the one breakout actress that just so happens to be fat and dark, then so be it, the world is yours!~

Fatolitics: the Politics of being Fat

2010-03-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

So I was reading one of these "Urban Entertainment" blogs and there was a post about Mo'Nique being okay with her husband having sex outside their marriage. Firstly I do believe that marriage is a covenant, it is sacred, and a commitment. I can't say I think that's a good idea but that's her...And to each his own. Well after I read the post, I scrolled through the comments and couldn't help but notice almost each of them mentioned her being fat. The overwhelming issue that people had with her is her weight citing her low self esteem is the reason she would agree to something like that. People got really foul, I mean fat this, fat that, if she would put down the food this...And i'm like daaaaamn what is the real issue here??? I know it's a far stretch for me to take it there but should "fat" be a protected class in America? Now this has less to do w Mo'Nique post as it does with the trending concerns on the rise in the news concerning obesity. The statistics are alarming, we are a fat country. Children are having medical issues that don't usually arise in most people until their 40's and it's a legitimate concern that our weight directly affects healthcare. People who are overweight develop diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and other medical issues as an effect. I've read the statistics and understand the implications but what does all this do to overweight people socially? How do people react to overweight people? Is it fair? Are they discriminated against by employers? Is it fair for airlines to charge an overweight person double? Can that be justified? Should there be a fat tax? Should fat people be happy? Before I go any further on that, let me clarify with a few examples about what I mean by that. Mo'Nique started a big is beautiful movement meant to empower fat women. She wrote a book that both satirized and humanized the struggles of being overweight. The message in it all was for women, especially overweight women to love themselves. Some people took issue with that. To some people, there's nothing worse than being fat and happy. If you're fat you should be either doing something about it or somewhere in seclusion hiding yourself from the world. There's little sensitivity when it comes to weight and the effects thereof. My friend's husband treats her like a drug addict when it comes to her weight, he said it's the same as any person addicted to crack. I'm a big girl and I've dealt with depression, low self esteem, ridicule (as a child), seclusion, and many other vices. On one hand you hear to love yourself first, make people respect you, you can do anything, don't settle for less, but on the other hand society tells you you shouldn't love yourself, thin is beautiful, your peers ridicule you, men tend to use you or don't want to touch you with a long handled spoon, you get excluded from cliques, family pressures you to be different, the people you see on tv and the magazines don't look like you so it becomes difficult to see through all the shut doors. You have to acquire thick skin because your adversities are great and the biggest struggle of all eventually becomes the internal struggle to Love yourself, to pick your head up and come out of your shell of depression and loneliness. It's difficult not to feel like a victim, you're not but you feel like it. It's also important to say that not all fat people go through this dark spiral. Right now approaching 30 I don't have the issues I did growing up, but still do have some of the residual effects. I'm finally accepting that some men like a well kept beautiful woman even if she has a few extra pounds and I have something to offer, lots to offer. That are the politics of being fat? Why shouldn't weight be considered a protected class? Now i'm not saying that it should, only posing the question...

Therapy (yet another passive aggressive post)

2010-02-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

There's something about my personality that i'm just starting to recognize in my adulthood. Something that I don't quite like about myself but it is so natural for me. Something I wish I could change, but don't know where to start. So let me introduce myself in a "12 Steps" manner of speaking. Hello, i'm Toy and i'm Passive Agressive. As a child, I was quiet, I never wanted to be in trouble and I had a problem saying no. So what happens to a person that never says no, they tend to agree to things they really don't want to do. Which in turn gives you a negative attitude about doing it, and then causes you sometimes agree to doing it and then not doing it. I'm an emotional person, you may hear me start off sentences saying "I feel..." Also, I was always a letter writer, i'd have a dispute and say nothing immediately, then write a letter later. I get upset when people probe and try to find out what's wrong with me becuase I never think they'd understand, and I don't ever want to hurt another person's feelings. But what normally happens is that I end up making them more upset by not just saying how I felt to begin with. I'm always late and my learning style is procrastination, I have short term memory lapses and sometimes feel inefficient. Confusing? Not to me. This is a real disorder and classified in the DSM. To give a textbook definition:Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of expressing your negative feelings in an indirect way — instead of openly addressing them.

People who are passive-aggressive appear to agree with the requests of others. They may even seem enthusiastic about them. But they don't perform a requested action on time or in a useful way, and may even work against it. In other words, they use nonverbal behavior to express anger or resentment that they can't express verbally. An example is showing up very late to a meeting that you didn't really want to attend and then making up excuses for your lateness that deflect attention from the real reason you were late.

Signs and symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior include:

Resentment and opposition to the demands of others
Complaining about feeling underappreciated or cheated
Procrastination
Stubbornness
Inefficiency
Memory lapses
Sullenness
Irritability
Cynical attitude
Although passive-aggressive behavior can be a feature of some psychiatric disorders, it isn't considered a mental illness. Researchers are studying how to classify habitual and problematic behaviors such as passive-aggressiveness. If such behavior is troublesome or interferes with your relationships or daily activities, consult a therapist who can help you identify and change the behavior.

Some people, especially people with type A personalities, tend to have problems thinking oudside their realm of understanding, so i've encountered people who are just like "Just say what you mean" and want me to be accountable for why I may not have shown up to an event or some other thing. And while I understand their mode of thinking, I really do try to make myself do things I don't want to do (which could be a problem in and of itself). I hate making up excuses, but what bothers me more is people asking me to give a full acount for the things not done. I'm thinking I may need therapy, just to talk things out rationally. I understand this may be my Hamartia. And what makes it so bad, bor years this has been unconsciuous behavior. Just a thought...

Your turn John Mayer. The Dunce hat is all yours!

2010-02-11T06:30:00.000-08:00

So everyone's got something to say about Black people these days. Today it's John Mayer. In the interview he calls his peen a "White Supremacist" and then goes on to discuss people saying he has a "Hood Pass" and then drops the "N Bomb" well, just to quote him verbatim, here's a snippet of the interview.

PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a ni**er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke c*ck. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*ck.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his d*ck. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Let me first say, it is't all that bad. Stupid, but not terrible.
I can't explain what it's like being black. It's funny because everyone has an opinion of you and now that there's an African American president, all of a sudden we're Post-Racial and supposed to pretend race doesn't matter and when these pseudo celebrities get on TV and radio and makes comments like this we aren't to respond. If we do respond, we're told we are being sensitive or that we are obsessed with race. People treat the inaguration of a black president as if that's reparations. And the sentimet that I gather is, "Now you have what you want, get over it, you can no longer say that race matters in America" B.S. As long as there are inequalities in pay, education, employment etc...We're not over race as a country, I can't deny the progression, but racism is far from over. Now back to the interview, I'm not extra emotional about it, everyone has preferences but it's the way in which he said and meant the statement that was offensive. He isn't open to having sex with black women and the term "white supremacist" just turns on the racist radar. Who uses the term "hood pass" except white people? There is no such thing. Why are some non-blacks so obsessed with the N word? People disect the word and get upset at the notion that whites can't use the word without being considered racist and somehow thinks there's a double standard when it comes to the fact that we still use it. It's strange, everyone's got an opinion about black people, some feeling, some notion, some feeling that they understand us. But each time I read an article like this, the more I realize that we have so far to go to say that race doesn't matter. Race matters to white's as much as blacks, just in different ways. So now that Mayer has apologized via twitter about using the "N word" we're supposed to get over it? He said that he's done with the media and got all pissy about the media for how this has turned out, and now he wants to go back to strumming his guitar but to me it's like a person getting mad at the camera for taking a picture...You can't get mad at the medium used, you can only be upset at yourself for making it available for public scrutiny. If you don't want people to judge what you say, then keep it simple Shut up! And to think I actually bought one of his albums.

The thing about Facebook

2010-02-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

Facebook to me began as a surprisingly addictive and fun way to re-connect with old friends and family. So I started out with like 25 friends, cool...Then it turned into 75 and now about 150. So what might you say is the problem? I know personally all the people on my friends list with the exception of maybe 3 people. Now in this pool of people are friends, family, people I went to school with (from elementary to college) mutual friends, church folk, co-workers, brief acquanitances, old and new friends etc...The problem is, I can't be candid. You might ask, why can't you keep it real Toy? But lets face it you are not going to have the same conversation with a high school friend as you would the person you sit next to at church. I don't, so when I update my status, i've got to be very general. My sense of humor is an acquired taste it you will, and the things I want to say may not always be in good taste, and sometimes I might have a day where I feel encouraged so I want to quote some scripture but to me it's a little like going in front of every person i've bumped shoulders with in life and making little announcements about what's going on in my life everyday. My pastor made a good point when he talked about why he doesn't want a FB page and why he would discourage others from having one, he said because it will connect you with people that God may have taken out of your life or should I say that you have purposely distanced yourself from. I'm beginning to see what he means. I've been getting friend requests from some of the very people i'm thankful that are no longer in my life and I don't necessarily want them in the mix. I guess I could deny the request but it's not always bitter, sometimes you separate yourself from people for personal growth and I don't want to come off rude...So while i'll continue to make my random general updates, i'll reserve the more introspective and personal thoughts for The Gift of Gab.
Oh, and one more thought about FB...I have a friend i've known since grade school, I mean we've been best friends for years. She was going through a situation, and was discouraged so she sent me a message in which I attempted to respond in a way that to me was optimistic and straight from the heart (I also but a bible verse or two in the message) and from my perspective she responded in a very sarcastic way, like yeah ok i'm better, everything is all good now but not really, then she made a post on her wall that I responded to in the same manner and her reply seemed really cold so I decided to delete my message and leave the whole thing alone. Sometimes you have to let people go through what they're going to go through, give them space to breathe, maybe she didn't feel what I was saying but it hurt my feelings (i'm a sensiive thang)and made me wonder if I should even call or respond. But I know how these things can go, sometimes distance can stretch out for seasons and before you know it you can't build the gall to call or even say hi. This whole thing played out on FB and I don't know if the whole thing was even worth it.
Anyhow, Facebook is cool for re-connecting with people with those you love, but it can be a whole 'nuther (sic) thing if you let it...

Post-Racial America?

2010-02-03T08:16:00.001-08:00

So the new buzzword is "post-racial". Folks we just aren't there yet, electing a Black president doesn't somehow mean that the issues of race in America don't exist. We have to be real about the racial inequities in employment, housing, education, criminal justice, health and other arenas. I don't know many people that would say that race is irrelevant everywhere. With that said, i'd also like to make clear that I believe race is no longer an excuse. There is no such "the man" dominance or oppression or monilithical sentiment amongst African Americans. I can imagine that the reason so many people are believing that we have steeped into a post-racial era is probably because of the yardsticks being used to quantify the progress and status of African Americans in this country. I don't think it's too far off to say that non African Americans tend to measure how far we've come while many non African Americans measure how far we have to go. The most complete picture, of course, requires both measures. But who can be surprised that blacks and whites each tend to gravitate toward the measure that is most forgiving of their individual groups, that shoves the onus for change off on the other? The black yardstick, after all, leaves black people no obligation other than to demand justice and equality from white people. The white yardstick requires of white people only that they exhort black people to become more self-reliant and take more responsibility for their own problems. But what if you are an American who realizes there is no either/or here, no need to buy into a false dichotomy that requires you to choose one yardstick over the other? Once you've turned off the television and encouraged black children toward academic excellence, you still must contend with the fact that their schools are too often crumbling, underfunded and staffed with inexperienced teachers.
Once you've gotten black women and men to raise their children in the context of families, you still have to deal with the fact that those families need places to live, jobs to support them and doctors to keep them healthy, all of it elusive as long as structural discrimination persists in all those areas. And, once you have convinced black children to stop defining themselves by denigrating stereotypes, you still have to fix a racially biased justice system that treats them as crimes waiting to happen. The Urban league recently released a report that Blacks remain twice as likely to be unemployed, three times more likely to live in poverty and more than six times as likely to be imprisoned compared with whites, according to the group's annual State of Black America report issued Wednesday. To pretend these realities are a thing of the past is to make yourself part of the problem. I am inspired by the notion that a country with such a sordid racial history has progressed to the point where we now have a Black President. I also know we have far to go, I have started with myself, finishing my degree, teaching myself financial discipline, waiting until marriage to have children, trying to be a role model to my siblings and being proactive in my community...Starting with self is the best we can do.

Feeding the poor is like...

2010-01-26T05:51:00.000-08:00

A woman comes into the office obviously ashamed because of what she has to do. She tells me over and over again that she's never done this before and that she doesn't know what she is doing. Her pride kept her from coming sooner but now her situation is dire, but she doesn't want to be like "one of them". A friend told her about public assistance and where to go so finally at her wits end here she is standing in front of me near tears holding a lump in her throat handing me what she considers a piece of her dignity. I am empathetic but I understand the reality, people need help sometimes. Shame comes from what our parents tell us about "welfare" and we have our our own perceptions and judgements about "those people". It's a reality check when the tables are turned and your state has the highest unemployment rate in the nation. When your spouse is unemployed and overqualified for most of the jobs that are availble. When you are running out of the basic necessities and your home is facing foreclosure and somehow all you can think about is how awful it makes you if you have to apply for government help. Even thought you paid taxes your whole life that benefits this kind of help, you don't want to be labeled. I could understand but I also see the flaw in that mode of thinking, but it's my personal opinion and I don't want to use this as a platform on how I feel about welfare and the prideful. I say all that to say this. It's people like SC Lt. Govenor Andre Bauer that help form the ideology in this nation that devalues an entire class and demographic of people. So this guy makes a bold comparison of people receiving public assistance to feeding stray animals. At a town hall meeting Thursday, Bauer, who is running for governor in his own right now that Sanford is term-limited, said: "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that." I mean it's like saying that if you feed the poor then they'll have have kids, so let them starve because we don't want that problem. If we as a nation gan give BILLIONS in foreign aid and donate to other countries in need, then why do so many people have a problem with helping our poor? Here's the thing, welfare "ain't" what it used to be, since welfare reform and the government instituted the welfare to work programs there is a limit on how long a person can even receive certain benefits. Also there isn't just the generational poverty we're dealing with now, it's situational poverty. What happens when a person that's been laid off after working at a factory for 20 years and has depleted their savings with no job opportunities immediately and unemployment's barely enough to pay the bills let alone feed the family, what to they do? Starve? As a Christian, I believe in charity, giving to the poor and being a need meeter, it's part of my calling to give. I just can't understand how he could build up the gall to say those things. Republicans lately have been going for the shock factor and actually publically verbalizing their racist, elitist, bigoted thoughts and I don't like it at all. From what I understand Bauer recieved free lunches as a child, so it's the same concept somebody else is paying for the food that you eat. Shut up and sit down Andre Bauer.

That thing...

2010-01-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

So I came across this article from Wale and I have to say i'm impressed, he has a gritty yet fresh and honest perspective on sex and relationships. Never met anyone like him but i'd love to.
Love got your panties in a bunch? Drop trou and @honeymag’s resident sexpert, will answer your juiciest questions. So get @Wale and spill it.

Wale: The irony in the pursuit of success is that once some of us achieve the dream we swore we wanted, the things that were important on the road to it tend to deteriorate — family, “friends” and often love.

When I was in early high school, I would chant nonsense like money over bitches. Looking back, I cringe. After failed relationships, failed “flings,” failed attempts at being a gigolo, player, or anything under that umbrella, I made a self declaration that 2010 will be the year of #thatthing. #thatthing is an absolute anomaly. It’s unexplainable. It soothes, it kills, it holds, it harms. It literally can grant life or death with one touch. And for this reason, many of us wear masks, metaphorically of course. Masks that cover insecurities. Masks that prevent #thatthing from capturing you in its relentless clutch. The fear of being hurt, for some, is far more important then the joy of being in love.

Women, how many men have you met who surround themselves around so many women, they wouldn’t be able to distinguish “the one” if she were right under his nose? I propose the same question to the dudes: Have you ever courted someone and did everything in your power to make her “open her eyes” (Bobby Caldwell x Common)? Yet she still wants to be in the club every other day or she tells you she doesn’t want commitment. That is her trying not to be vulnerable. That is the proverbial wall that can’t be penetrated because even the briefest daydream of #thatthing will send her into shock. #thatthing has the staring role in life’s movie. A nigga may have never experienced #thatthing, but his mother/father/sister/brother/teammate’s experiences may have been enough to instill the fear. A woman may never have experienced that thing, but her homegirl/bestfriend/play-cousin just may have made a fool of herself at a local club, go-go, movie theater or mall because of #thatthing.

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I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. I literally drove down South Dakota Avenue with a North Face coat (the big joint) some basketball shorts, a wifebeater, and Timberlands. (Nike boots were muddy) on a summer night, because I wanted to show her "how real these tears are."
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I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. I literally drove down South Dakota Avenue with a North Face coat (the big joint) some basketball shorts, a wifebeater, and Timberlands. (Nike boots were muddy) on a summer night, because I wanted to show her “how real these tears are.” I can laugh at myself now, but at the time #thatthing had me lunchin’.

Ladies, Gents — #thatthing don’t give a fuck what she/he looks like, either. Many of us have fallen victim to the I-can’t-believe-I-used-to-sleep-with-that-monstrosity syndrome. Another result of #thatthing. For fear of hurting someone’s feelings (and encouraging an angry woman to stalk me), let’s just say I once was so caught up in #thatthing, I looked past several character flaws (as well as physical) for an extended period of time.

I have to ask myself why. Is it the thrill of chase? Spending nights under the covers talking about nothing? Your partner is so “perfect” that just to hear their breath is the most tranquil feeling in the world (and completely trumps a quick nut from a jump-off.) Her sex is so good I look past the fact that she has no job, no car, no ambition, and no drive. Or ladies — maybe he f*%cks so good that you forget that he has six children and he’s only 25. The most proud can be publicly foolish. The shy guy can transform into the most outspoken. The moment your heart and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you’re probably caught up in #thatthing.

My pursuit of #thatthing is a difficult one. I like to consider myself an unrecognizable famous person, meaning I can still do the things most 25-year-old employed black men can do, without too much attention. But at the same time, a lot of these women know who I am, (albeit never heard a song. LOL.) This is where the pessimism starts to creep in. And the paranoia that guides my judgment when exchanging numbers. Why does she want to talk to me? How long till she tells me she’s a model? I met Jay-Z in ‘99 he said he was gonna sign me. Can you ask him if we’re still good? Situations like this make the pursuit of #thatthing just as hard as shaking it off once acquired.

walemusic.com :: twitter.com/wale :: myspace.com/wale

Please say the baby

2009-09-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sure if Baby had a uterus, he woulda been pregnant by now with Wayne's seed. Come on, I don't usually get into the gossip/rumor/mish mosh but this is a tad extra, don't you think? Just in case you're wondering that's Lil Wayne's birthdate tatted on Baby's arm. That, along with the million dollar watch (Chopard I think) and then a diamond studded birthday cake. What do I have to do to get on his birthday list?

Free Lunch

2009-08-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

I heard through the grapevine that Barack Obama was forgiving student loan debt, so for the last few days i've been researching what seems to be the biggest fluke of all time. I've checked, change.gov, barackobama.gov, thewhitehouse.gov and all the other ".gov's" I could think of including ed.gov, and so far have come up fruitless. I did however, come up with an article (quite interesting by the way) at the huffington post entitled "Forgiving Student Loan Debt would Stimulate the Economy" which led me to another article that relates to the ad above, then I went to another that compares parack obama to "Felix the Cat" saying just like the cartoon character, saying he's "black and lucky". I'm thinking whoa, critics are going hard, in ways that make me feel that he won't catch a break no matter what. The thing is, since he's become president people seem to view the president's position as commander in cheif as if it were just some gig, some job or like he's some Joe Schmo, to be compared amongst the likes of general plumbers or contractors. And I know why...This article bothers me but it's kinda funny, I mean for real? You've got to be kidding...

Dreams

2009-07-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

So something has happened to bring me out of hiding...E-hiding that is, and that is the reason for this post. Let me first say that there is no huge reason i've stopped blogging, it's simple, I don't have the internet at home. If anyone would like to donate, then feel free, feel free...Anywho
I had this dream last night, a strange dream...That I'd delivered a baby, a baby I didn't know I was carrying. And the thing that was more strange was that I had the baby at home, and then took the baby to the hospital, and left myself without delivering the afterbirth or anything. No medical care for myself, then I went home to figure out who the dad could be, I calculated nine months, and figured it must have been my ex, even though that was in fact impossible. I called him and told him about everything, then tried to figure out how to tell my current boyfriend. So then the next thing I remember is going over my Mom's to tell her and see if she could take me to the hospital, when I remembered I don't have a carseat. So I told my little sister who really is pregnant that I will just have to use her baby's stuff since she's still pregnant. So then my Mom takes me to the hospital and we get lost on the way and when we finally get there,I tell the nurse in triage that I had a baby, dropped him off, then left without getting my DNC (which by the way if i'm not mistaken is the procedure that happens after a woman miscarries) I don't remember what they did to me, I vaguely remember what my baby looked like but I do remember I had a son though. I remember thinking "what am I going to do now???" and thinking, I have to go on maternity leave.
Strange, strange, I don't know what the dream means (if anything) but I do remember waking up this morning confused, wondering if I should go to the hospital to claim my baby.
Can anyone interpret dreams?

Dwight Howard

2009-06-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

Where have you been all my life?

Dating blurb.

2009-05-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

So i'm a thinker...It has it's advantages and disadvantages, more "dis" than "ad" but heeeey...I tend to analyze myself, you know, figure me out, if that is at all possible, sometimes I just give up. Since i'm 28 and unwed, I do a lot of thinking about whether it is my personality that's perhaps a barrier in my relationships, or if it's more cosmic, perhaps just hasn't been in the stars for me yet. Who knows??? Now lately i've been meeting a lot of guys, but then that's it...Things fizzle for one reason or another. I guess it's not atypical for where I live. i know a lot of people in the same pickle, meing maried seems more the exception than the rule. What i'm starting to notice about myself is that there are certain types of men that are bad for me, but for some reason I have a hard time avoiding those types, let me give you a lil background...I grew up subsudized housing, not really the hood but just some apartments, mama never worked, daddy wasn't there but I did have a father figure in the home...I had a few issues, didnt always do things the right way but I managed to graduate high school and then go away to college fast forward 11 years, and here I am pondering the mis-steps. When I went to college a lot of things changed about me, but to my core, I can't help but think i'm still that shy, aprehensive, cautious, big-hearted, passive aggressive, artsy, gullable, overthinker that I always was...Being that way didn't pan out so well growing up, with men. In short and for the sake of time i'll condense what i'm trying to say that dealing with some people can make me regress to my teenage years and that's not good.
That's all, I just wanted to post an observation about myself, now I have to go...ttyl

Birthday Kecks

2009-05-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

I listen to Russ Parr in the morning, it helps me keep track of the time...When they do horoscopes that's my que to get in the shower, and when Alfreda's "hot off the Wire" comes on, then I know I need to get out the shower etc...So I hear some interesting songs, some crazy songs including "Halle Berry" then there's the Lil Wayne song that says "...they muggin me, you know i'm muggin back" or something to that extent, but the most bothersone one is "Birthday Sex" bow, I actually like the melody of the song, just not for the radio and here's why...My nephew was singing this new song called they play on the radio that I just mentioned called "birthday sex" but since he's three he walks around the house singing "birthday kecks, birthday kecks". It's a shame, whatever happened to FCC censorship????? Can't even listen to the radio these days. *SMH* I'm just glad he doesn't know they're really saying sex because for some reason he busts (sic) out singing it all the time, so much so that the song "Birthday Kecks" is stuck in my head. My sister is trying to make him say Birthday gifts, we'll see how that goes.

Men are from Mars...A Question

2009-05-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

So yesterday a friend and I were having a conversation about relationship themed books. She said that she definitely not be reading "Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey, but would eventually like to read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I just recently met someone who I really enjoy, I think this could be serious, so I thought to myself, hmmm....Maybe I should read the book too, just to get a lil insight on how men think, because I tell ya, i'm clueless. I'm a stereotypical woman, I am emotional, want my concerns to be acknowledged, passive aggressive...Men seem sooo the opposite, non emotional, passive, and some can be abrasive. So I googled the book to see what i'd come up with and on Wikipedia, they posted a synopsis of some of the views discussed in the book...like,

The point system
Gray suggests that men and women count (or score) the giving and receiving of love differently. For men, they tend to give larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points etc.) whereas for women they give each act of love one point at a time.

Men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops. This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the relationship back into balance.

Example: A man might count a $200 present as 20 points, but a woman will count each individual piece of the present as 1 point each. For her, the total sum of points comes from the present as a whole. For example, the different parts of the environment where the present is given each get 1 point (candles, music, privacy, location etc.) the card gets 1 point, the flowers get 1 point, the gift wrap gets 1 point and the gift itself gets 1 point. Their totals may even out to be the same, but it's the act of scoring that is different.

The emotional stroke delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks his work has earned 20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
________________________________________
The cave and the wave
Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand, many times this is a "time-out" of sorts to allow them to distance themselves from the problems so their brains can focus on something else. This allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.

This has historically been hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman tries to grow closer. This becomes a major source of conflict between any man and woman.

The wave is a natural cycle for women that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a woman feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.

As one reviewer put it:

When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not emailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave. Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.[1]

_________________________________

So anywho, not everyone agrees with the author's views on male/female relations...For example
However, other studies do not find such differences. Erina MacGeorge found only a 2 percent difference between communication styles and argues that "when it comes to comforting, the Mars-Venus concept is not only wrong, but harmful. For the most part, men and women use, and strongly prefer, the same ways of comforting others – listening, sympathizing and giving thoughtful advice."[3]

Some feminists have criticized the book for being sexist and patronizing [4] When discussing relations with the opposite sex, one often hears the complaint, "It's like she's from another planet!", while others accuse it of being written as a 'self-improvement' book for women, blatantly suggesting that women should adapt to men's ways of communicating, rather than both genders co-operating. Susan Hamson's web site "The Rebuttal From Uranus" says:

"Despite its promotional hype, at its very core it is a sexist, patronizing, male-centered invective which does little more than perpetuate long-held negative gender stereotypes"
Hamson objects to the lack of reference and details about the research Gray claims to have made, as well as to two central points which she feels Gray makes in his book:

"that men fulfill active roles and are seen as ambitious and powerful. Women, however, satisfy passive roles"; and,
"although the author may grudgingly admit that women are cognizant human beings, they must necessarily take a back seat to the dominant male in their lives in order to routinely accommodate his wants and desires." [5] ______________________________

My question is this, to the men...Do you agree with the point theory, cave and the wave theory or something different?
Women, what do you think?

Negated Compliments

2009-05-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog entry of youngcel's about what I consider to be "negated compliments". These are not quite compliments, in fact they're usually offensive like when someone says You're cute to be dark, fat, short etc...My people I think it is common knowledge that such comments are offensive. Today for example, this young chap, about 17ish walked past me and said "You look nice today, I don't discriminate" at first it seemed like a compliment, I started to smile and say thank you when I heard the "I don't discriminate" part. WTF is that??? Like despite your flaws, I found something nice about you...Then awhile ago I went out with a few cousins when this guy (that is my cousin's friend with benefits)asked me if I wanted to get "nailed". I was like, who? damn! What? I'm not a charity case...He said "I know somebody named Peanut that would nail you" It took me half the night and a hint from his friend to figure out that he was talking about himslf. Or here's another one, when guys say things like, "I mess with big girls" i'm thinking, well I don't "mess" with ugly guys, damnit that is not a compliment. I have a friend that has been told her whole life that she has a pretty "face" and it's an inside joke that we call her "face" because people never just say that she's a pretty girl, because she's overweight, they always compliment her beautiful face.
People stop it, if you're gonna compliment somebody, just make sure you don't take it back by saying something stupid like...for a __________person.
This has been a public service announcement

Stalker ex with something to prove

2009-04-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

So awhile ago I posted about my ex, he comes to my job and my house to update me on the things he buys or the things he wnts me to know, like when he bought a new 300C, or like today when he came to tell me about his new motorcycle and that yeah, um...he got a new job. Now you may wonder how he can do this and just got a job, you figure it out. I'm just one nanosecond away from telling him stop stalking me to let me know how well your life is going, get a life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle or what it buys, which is why we're not together. I guess the issue is that he wants to make me think twice (or three or fifty)times about breaking up with him. Geeez!!! Who does that??????
I'm already having one of those days at work...
I need to reframe, perhaps when I have more time, i'll post an update on the world's worst first date. Well, and then on to more serious issues.
Until then

hex naw

2009-04-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

My friend and I had this conversation about slang. I guess the discussion was about new slang and if when it's appropriate to stop it and just use the "king's english". It's funny bwcause when i'm at home around friends I grew up with, I tend to use the same slang from what I consider my first prime which was between 96 and 98. Don't turn your noses but, words'phrases like "heckie naw" "salty", I can't really think of too much right now but I can't get into the new slang, like "kiki'ing it up" what's that? I mean really...

Classifieds

2009-03-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

SBF/28 ISO mate, preferably WIFI. Must be reliable, fast, inexpensive, not easily corruptable, and must be ready for commitment. This will be for primary use with my Gateway laptop, but must accept my old HP as this is a package deal. Help please, I need to blog.

In them jeans...

2009-02-27T13:30:00.000-08:00

This morning, I woke up with a plan. Since today is Friday, I thought i'd dress down for work, for casual friday. I had my outfit outlined, a turquoise warm up jacket with my new Levi's, they fit just right (I don't wear jeans often) and a pair of new Air Max to match my top-you know it's income tax season and black folk got (sic) new clothes... Now of course you know something had to go wrong because I'm blogging about it. I took my jeans out of the bag and they still had the ink tag on them, now i've lost the receipt so I know some drama will ensue. I didn't have a backup fit, so I panicked, the situation was bad, what's worse is that I got up early, but I had to compromise my extra time advantage to look for something else to wear (and iron it).Now I have to take the jeans back without the receipt and I know the alarms will start going off as soon as I come in the store and the clerks will look at me like, "yeah, she's a booster" how else can I explain not having the receipt? I had plans for those jeans. They fit a lil tight so, I thought they would accentuate the positive. It's a hard job finding jeans that are the right fit. I think most ladies can attest to that, I have about twelve pairs (is that proper english?) of jeans and not one that fit me in a way that makes me feel good. Most of my jeans either have the saggy crotch, big waist (i'm constantly pulling them up), low rise (no one wants to see butt cleavage), floods, too baggy aroung the thigh area or won't zip. This is a really serious issue, but it's friday and I got it figured out, just a lil sweat off the top of the brow. Men, do y'all have that problem with finding the right jeans? Or is that a woman thang?
Peace out, have a good weekend!!!!!

In with the new...

2009-02-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I tried something new, I had my hair dyed Black. I'm naturally Brown, I even had my hair cut, it's not drastic but definitely noticeable. I'll be posting pics as soon as I can get to a free wi-fi connection (ain't that sad?). I didn't get around to the sushi thing, but this weekend i'll definitely continue with this idea...
In other random news, I saw the most beautiful little girl, she wasn't from this country, my guess would be Ethiopia, her name is Sephora. I'll have to google what it means, the only other time i've heard that name is from the Sephora beauty franchise.
I was really happy yesterday, the sun was shining, I felt good, and it was just an overall good day. I'd like to continue on that trend, today i'm a little less than yesterday but still good nonetheless. I can't wait for Spring!!!
Oh and in regards to my most recent passive agressive post (pt II) HE'S GONE!!!!!
It's finally over. Wooo freakin hooo!!!!
Ok I've gotta go, but there's more to come.

Something Pink, Blue, Old...

2009-02-19T11:28:00.000-08:00

Just sitting here, should be working, but thinking about the weekend. I've got the inclination to try something new. Maybe i'll try a new venue, a new food, a new book, coffee spot etc...So this weekend, i'll be venturing outside my comfort zone and hopefully i'll encroach upon an interesting find, perhaps i'll blog about it and take pictures. I've decided one of the new things already and that's to get my hair cut and dyed. Next i'm gonna try sushi (nothing too adventurous) perhaps a california roll or something cooked like tempura. I've even given thought to changing some things around at home. Last week in an effort to re-gain my youth, I bought a pair of gym shoes, they're Air force One's that are black/grey/hot pink, I doubt i'll ever wear them seeing as though I wear slacks even on weekends, and they're not exactly workout shoes, I just bought them on an impulse. Has anyone tried anything new recently? Is there anything you'd like to do outside of your normal comfort zone?

Happy Black History Month

2009-02-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

Dey got all our stuff on sale (sic)

This is a real ad from a grocery store. I got it from concrete loop and had to share. Grape soda though?

best friend vs. boyfriend

2009-02-06T13:18:00.000-08:00

This has to be short because i've got to go.
So a friend of mine just called me hysterically apologizing to me. I know that she'd been in an argument with her fiance about what time we came back from the gym last night. Our personal trainer stays late nights because most of his clients get off of work after 6:00pm. We usually don't leave the gym until 11:00pm, we try to leave sooner but we rarely get there before 8:00pm, we also talk. My friend and I have been friends for 18 years. Her phone call was to let me know we couldn't be friends anymore. She doesn't have family, it's just her and her mom so the desire of her heart since a young child was to be married and have a family. She and her fiance have been dating for about 3 years and have changed wedding dates more times than I care to count. He's a religious guy, I mean a "superChristian", he's very strict with her, her whole life revolves around him and his 2 daughters which he just gained sole custody of (from a recent divorce, this would make his 3rd marriage) their relationship is different to say the least. I don't ever make the mistake of telling her to leave him for 3 reasons. It's none of my business, she'd be with him anyway, and because she'd just tell him one day and he'd resent me, that's a decision she'll have to make on her own. So anywho, fast forward today, it took me by surprise, the phone call hurt, I was confused, and just completely taken off guard. I'm all crying at work, wondering what kamikaze wind just came by my cubicle. I'm upset a lil, because he's controlling and he just made her get rid of her only friend. Even more because she's crying uncontrollably and is in a mess. I do understand I am the "single" friend and that's usually a problem in most marriages, but I try to give her encouragement without giving her advice, I mean I try to quote scripture to help encourage her. This is classic best friend vs. the boyfriend, except i'm not fighting. I couldn't see myself letting go of a true friend if she hasn't done anything wrong, now I do understand that when you marry, things change. You and your BFF don't see each other or hang out or sit and talk on the phone like you once did, but you shouldn't have to give up the entire friendship unless there is a different issue at hand. I told my friend I support her in whatever she does, and hell I can't give her the family life so it makes sense for her follow her heart in this one. A friendship of 18 years ended with a phone call goodbye and i'm sitting here wondering wtf?
This year has been a strange one, especially with friendships. I don't know what lesson i'm supposed to get out of this but man, I hope this season will be over soon.

P.A. (Part 2) Situation One

2009-01-30T09:19:00.000-08:00

Think it, say it, do it.

So I am an introvert, passive aggressive, a thinker, emotional, compassionate, a compulsive spender, over-eater, argumentative, sweet, humble, coy, giving, confused, indecisive, strong willed, offended easily, poetic, private, open, impatient, happy for the most part, jovial, competitive, friendly…I could say more, there’s much more, but for the sake of this blog post, you’ve read some facets of my personality. Now, here’s the thing, some parts of me conflict with others. I’m a classic passive aggressive, Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious.

Situation One.
My friend’s brother came into town, he’d been living here for about 6 months prior to me seeing him for the first time. When I first bumped into him we exchanged formalities and was relatively happy to see each other again. We were never close, we’d just spent some time together with his sister and family growing up when they all lived in Columbus. Back in December we re-aquainted and hit it off pretty well. Things happened fast, and one day he hit me with it. The question, the question I’ve been asked several times but hate to be asked. Let me backtrack, He’d been staying with his mom for the duration of his stay here, he didn’t mention her much. Until this one day, when I saw him he seemed upset, he told me he and his mom had been in an argument and she put him out, out on the streets. We’d had a long, long conversation about his life since we were adolescents and to “make a long story short” he’d been married and divorced (since ’03), was working in a nearby city, made $26.00 and hour, was laid off, lost his car and apartment, came back here to start anew. He’d never been without work, and so on and so forth. I felt bad, que the violins. Impulsive and gullable, I offer for him to stay for a few weeks until he can find somewhere else to go (he does have other family here), and he’s very thankful in the beginning, he also said he had a job lined up for January. It goes downhill from there. Fast forward today, he’s been here for a month and two weeks, we barely talk, he doesn’t clean, only bathes once a week, eats a lot, doesn’t flush the toilet or lock the door, smokes in the house (despite me telling him not to) still doesn’t have a job, and relies on me for transportation (I put a stop to that a few weeks ago) and things have soured quickly. I should probably mention that the job that was supposed to be lined up for January was a fluke a bold faced lie. Now the issue at hand is putting him put, letting him know it isn’t working. Here’s the psssive aggressive part, I’ve known it wasn’t going to work for about 2 and a half weeks now and instead of telling him he has to go, I just make it extremely uncomfortable for him to stay, and rather agressively push him out with my actions. I know that the proper thing for me to do is tell it like it is but…that doesn’t come easy to me. I dodge unpleasant situations by avoiding confrontation, there! I said it. To put it in technical terms, When the behaviors are part of a person's personality style, repercussions are not usually immediate, but instead accumulate over time as the individuals affected by the person come to recognize the disavowed aggression coming from that person. People with this personality style are often quite unconscious of their impact on others, and thus may be genuinely dismayed when held to account for the inconvenience or discomfort caused by their passive-aggressive behaviors. In that context, they fail to see how they might have provoked a negative response, so they feel misunderstood, held to unreasonable standards, and/or put-upon. Remedying this behavior can be difficult: efforts to convince the subject (ME) that their unconscious feelings are being expressed passively, and that the passive expression of those feelings (their behavior) invokes other people's anger or disappointment with the person, are often met with resistance. To me, most importantly, Anger turned inwards that has no other way to heal or express itself will either turn into depression, or passive aggression. In short, because this is my personality type, I’m having a problem going to him and telling him he has to go. It seems no easy way to say it, I hate conflict and I’ve got a feeling it’s coming. Any suggestions on how to approach this situation?

on Annie Hall and others...

2009-01-29T07:38:00.000-08:00

I don’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member-groucho marx (via Alvy Singer, Annie Hall)

The absolute best Woody Allen film has got to be Annie Hall. It’s neurotic, silly, witty, and on the money when it comes to relationships. Smart people amuse me, I’ve been watching films this week that have to do with intellectual idiots. People who have to high I.Q.’s but socially inept with gaping emotional voids, the first film was Dan in real life. I’ll watch anything with Steve Carrell in it, in the movie, he’s this widowed newspaper columnist who is left to care for his three daughters alone and without going deep into the plot of the film, the protagonist is smart, stable, cares for his family but is alone, at the beginning of the movie anyway… He finds love, the smart lonely widowed guy finds love. Then there was “smart people” Where the protagonist is this widowed college professor that is all too self involved. He has two children, one of which is played by Ellen Page (I hate this role for her) her character is both going in the right and wrong direction at the same time. On one hand, she’s doing well, top of her class, headed to an ivy league school, but with no friends, infatuated with her “adopted” uncle. On top of all that, she needs a mother, she's turning into a stepford wife and feeling unappreciated and lacking love most all. The smart guy of the movie, gets the girl (it's kinda random that they chose Sarah Jessica Parker for the role) and has the kids, and there seemed to be no real resolution for Ellen's character. You know, I was listening to Chris Rock talk, not telling jokes and he said something profound about comedians, he said that they are very aware of their surroundings and explained how the cliche goes "ignorance is bliss", rock then says "what's the opposite of that? Being aware of everything, now that's hell" or something like that, and at least in movies it seems to ring true. Last but not least, the most quotable film in history Annie Hall starring Allen himself. I love it, my favorite line came at it's opening and seems to describe most of the hopeless romantics I know, the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.

More quotabes...(from the IMDB)
Alvy Singer: That sex was the most fun I've ever had without laughing
--------------------
[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street]
Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?
Female street stranger: Yeah.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?
Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Male street stranger: And I'm exactly the same way.
Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That's very interesting. So you've managed to work out something?
--------------------------
Alvy Singer: I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
---------------------------
Alvy Singer: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?
---------------------------
Alvy Singer: It's mental masturbation!
Annie Hall: And you would know all about THAT, wouldn't you?
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
--------------------------
Annie Hall: So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Alvy Singer: Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.
--------------------------
Alvy Singer: They did not take me in the Army. I was, um, interestingly enough, I was, I was 4-P. Yes. In the, in the event of war, I'm a hostage
--------------------------
Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.
---------------------------
Alvy Singer: Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.
---------------------------
Annie's family and Alvy's family converse through a split screen]
Mom Hall: How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer?
Alvy's Mom: We fast.
Dad Hall: Fast?
Alvy's Dad: No food. You know, to atone for our sins.
Mom Hall: What sins? I don't understand.
Alvy's Dad: To tell you the truth, neither do we.
---------------------------
[Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen]
Alvy Singer's Therapist: How often do you sleep together?
Annie Hall's Therapist: Do you have sex often?
Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
Annie Hall: [annoyed] Constantly. I'd say three times a week.
----------------------------
Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

Political blurb: The stimulus plan

2009-01-27T11:32:00.000-08:00

And this is why I am proud of who WE placed in office...This is the substance of a man thought to be image only...Well, wait a second, let me first explain the context of this post. Last week, I was pretty upset, stressed out, hurt, angry, emo etc...You get the point. So when the inaguration took place I had trouble getting into the moment, embracing the granduer of it all. I'd been somewhere else mentally, so this week is new, and things have been better, and all emotions aside, i've been wanting to research what's been on the agenda for the first 100 and the first issue that came to mind was the new stimulus package that our president has been trying to get passed (expediently). It brought tears to my eyes, as an employee with a retirement plan, and a student with loans who benefit from the Pell Grant, a future prospective federal government employee, county welfare civil servant, and just someone that's just trying to make it, this is important to me, this is the meat and bread of the political process, the things that are being pushed to help improve the quality of life and to decrease the effects of a deepening recession that affects us all. This is the biggest economic crisis since the second world war what happens in this first 100 days of a new administration are crucial. WE picked the right man for the job.
Obama's Stimulus Plan (via NY Times)

Obama's plan
aims to stimulate employment, certain critical economic sectors, and U.S. consumer spending. It specifies $550 billion in spending on new projects and $275 billion in tax cuts. The initial plan (PDF) includes investments for:

Energy, including $32 billion to transform the U.S. energy grid to make it more efficient; $16 billion to repair public housing and make it more energy efficient; and $6 billion to weatherize low-income homes;

Science and technology, including $10 billion for new scientific facilities and $6 billion to improve broadband Internet access in rural areas;

Infrastructure, including $30 billion for highways; $31 billion to modernize federal buildings and other public infrastructure; $19 billion for clean water, flood control, and other environmental investments; and $10 billion to improve public transit and rail infrastructure;

Education, including $41 billion for local school districts, $79 billion in outlays to states to prevent educational service cutbacks; $15.6 billion to broaden the federal Pell Grant program, which gives need-based grants to fund education; and $6 billion to modernize higher education programs;

Health care, including $87 billion for Medicaid; $20 billion to improve health information technology; and around $4 billion to improve preventative care.

The plan also includes $140 billion directed toward tax cuts of $500 per worker or $1,000 per family over two years; expanded tax credits for working poor with children; and a $2,500 college tuition credit. The House Ways and Means Committee approved the tax portion of the bill on January 22, though it has yet to pass the entire House of Representatives.

Some analysts say the Obama administration's spending on economic stimulus will be broader than what's included in the stimulus spending plan. "You've got to look at the whole picture," said Adam Posen of the Peterson Institute for International Economics in a January 2009 interview (PDF). Posen and several other analysts have noted that stimulus spending could come in many ways beyond what's in the plan, including:

The Treasury's $700 billion in TARP funds, initially aimed at stabilizing the financial sector, seems likely to be used to provide relief to other industries and "for things that look more like stimulus and less like asset purchases," according to Posen;

Automatic economic stabilizers like extensions of unemployment insurance;

Expansions of health insurance;

Some form of "mortgage relief" aimed at helping Americans facing default;

Federal Reserve purchases of mortgage-backed securities and perhaps other types of distressed securities in the future; and

An expanded GI bill for returning veterans
How Economic Stimulus Works

Economic or "fiscal" stimulus stands in contrast to monetary stimulus, a process through which the U.S. Federal Reserve Board adjusts interest rates to encourage or discourage lending. By 2009, the Fed had lowered rates to near zero. Because it can't lower rates below zero (which would amount to lenders paying people to take a loan), the Fed had few remaining policy options. Economic stimulus is another means by which a government can seek to boost its economy, either in the short term, by encouraging consumers or companies to consume goods, or in the longer term, by encouraging the growth of businesses and the creation of jobs through investments in infrastructure and research.

There are many different forms of potential economic stimulus and they work in different ways. Tax cuts for individuals generally encourage short-term spending. Tax cuts for companies encourage both spending and investment. Expenditures on public works create contracts for firms and provide short- to medium-term employment opportunities. Investments in research and development take a longer-term approach under the theory that businesses will thrive in the future (and thus provide jobs) if they have the money to make intelligent investments in their operations now.

Finally, some forms of economic stimulus seek to make investments that will pay off in the long run by making consumption cheaper for everybody. An example is investing in the U.S. energy grid. Theoretically, a one-time outlay could make energy costs for both individuals and businesses less expensive for decades to come. Similar arguments are made about health care spending. Critics say an outdated and illogical health care system presents significant costs for U.S. businesses that could be eased through front-end investments. Obama has called attention to both energy and health care as sectors in which infrastructure investments could help make U.S. firms more competitive internationally. Other countries, including China, have similarly focused stimulus spending on infrastructure development.

A blogger milestone

2009-01-27T10:22:00.001-08:00

Whoo hoo!!! I just realized I reached the 100th post mark.
I remember a time not so long ago when I posted twice every three months, then blogging got good to me. Now my posts are more scarce than I would like but my neighbor got her internet cut off so now I have to buy my own wireless. I can only post from the confines of my cubicle at work during breaks or Panera when the weather permits. One of these days when I get the internet at home, i'll be able to organize this thang, make it co-hesive, add some widgets, update my blogroll, and post some pictures etc...
I even get some comments every now and then, you just don't know how that encourages me to continue on with this project I call "the gift of gab". I don't let people know I have a blog, I just let people stumble upon it.
---So thanks to Steve and Drewzee for setting me straight, Jahzie for keeping me from being over-dramatic, and all the other people that read but don't comment. It's all love.
this kinda sounds like an acceptance speech.
let me stop while i'm ahead.

Blurb one...On waving and speaking

2009-01-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you in the first place? Have you ever...Like, waved really hard, with a smile and all, and then you notice that naw playa, it ain't you? Then you try to play it off real cool like, and then look away and start walking real fast in the other direction? Yeah, that's me, i'm the queen of it in fact. I work with the public, and the worst thing you can do is not speak to someone you grew up with or graduated in your 34 person graduating class (black folk love to say someone's "funny actin"). See there's this co-worker I know, real good people, Christian, always smiling and speaking, good folk. So I tried to speak to her first today, I waved really hard from a distance and uh, she didn't see me...I shook it off, no sweat off my brow. Then this other lady coming around the corner began to wave, so i look up and wave back, only to notice the person behind me waving because she really knew her. Shook that off too...But the other day, I thought I saw my former co-workers daughter who's a really sweet girl, I began waving and smiling all extra hard and even asked "where's the baby?" before I realized, that nope...It wasn't her. I've gotta stop doing that man, for my pride's sake. One's reaction time must be right, because if you react to a wave too slow, it can be perceived as forced or "flaky", then if you wave too quick, yup, it's gonna happen again, you're gonna be waving back at someone who's not waving at you.
*SMH really hard

Drop it like it's hot, well warm at least...

2009-01-22T15:58:00.000-08:00

The Inaguration (pt. 1)

2009-01-21T17:13:00.001-08:00

I really wanted tears, but then a different thing happened. Something different altogether, something I can't put my finger on. This was a normal day, ho hum...Snow and long lines, thank you's and goodbyes, my complaining had begun, it was cold and no one gave a damn. So I sat there sniffling and thus speaking in a nasal tone, there are certain things you cannot say in a government office, the obvious was happening but it remained unspoken mostly, some cared, some permanently fixed on their cell phones, some wearing black in mourning others donned t-shirts with his face and moniker. It was all too surreal, I havent stopped to think lately, life is a series of moments, a cipher of occurences, from crisis to crisis, care to care, stress to stress. It hasn't sinked in. I used to be passionate and loving, i'm now stressed and running late, that's all there's been. So today was no different, I wanted it to be, I wanted to be proud and say something profound about life after the election of the First Black President of the United States of America. The irony is that I exist in the epicenter of America's crisis. Straddling the fence between potential and poverty one good choice away from the former and one bad choice from the latter. It is about me. This election was about me, it was an introspective, a challenge to change and action. A call to look at myself as the holder of my own fate and destiny, and I do hate to use those words, but it was. That is what it is about today, a question...What does it all mean? Why is it so significant? What will I do now? Somehow it isn't about Barack Obama, it is about...well you get it. He won't change the nation alone, racism hasn't ended, the glass ceiling does still exist, poverty is still real and changing the face of the nation, violence is still the burning pistol it always was, education is still under-received, unemployment is still about to reach 10%, HIV is still affecting a disproportianate population of African Americans compared to the other population, we are still in a recession, people are still selling their souls and so on...so on...So what will be different? If I remain unchanged, then of what value is this election to me? I understand the historical importance, I understand that it is bigger than me, I understand that it is a dream realized, I understand this is something people many people thought would never happen, I understand and don't mean to make it seem small but...I dunno, after listening to a few young republicans say that people are being caught up in the awe, and that this is sensationalism, that people didn't know the issues or why they were voting for Barack other than his race. They painted all these happy faces white with big red smiles, a round red nose and blue curly hair. Their inference was that the honeymoon will be over soon and we will go back to our normal lives void of political activity and calls to social activism and Barack Obama will fail. Kinda like Rush Limbaugh, he hopes that he fails. These things put the mirror in my face and made me feel a tad guilty at a time I should be sticking my chest out and head up, a time where I should be "choosing hope over fear". I know better, I truly do. Yesterday a woman came to my desk crying as the inaguration speech was happening on the plasma behind me, she sobbed desperately "I'm a liberal, this has been a long 8 years, I used to be a social worker but I have lost everything" she went on, "George Bush has taken everything and destroyed my family, I've lost my job, my house and my family is falling apart, so excuse me for being so emotional, but I needed this, I am just overcome with a feeling of relief, it is over, it is over..." Today is better for me, yesterday was emotional. I missed the speech, I had to catch the re-cap on the 9 o' clock news, perhaps I would have felt inspired, motivated, and had a better feeling, instead all I saw was people frowning, arms akimbo, long lines, unemployment pay stubs, requests for hardships, tears, cell phones, open doors breathing cold air in my face, pregnant women, unsigned birth certificates, child support orders, negative balances on bank statements, and people that are affected in general by the things most of us read about. Perhaps there is a more happy post to come, something that expresses the grand importance of this day, something better, another day.

The crucial answers to these questions depend not only on President Barack Obama's decisions but also on who we are and what we do. As he rightly noted in his monumental campaign, change comes from the bottom up, not the top down. Our hopes are on a tightrope, and America hangs in the balance—and we either hang together, or we hang separately. –Cornel West

Break-up etiquette

2009-01-15T10:36:00.000-08:00

My ex-boyfriend is like the thorn in my side. Why, oh why???? So we broke up 4th of July of 07 and it took me awhile to get that lump out of my throat, I was a lil hurt up. So he comes and visits me at work like once a month (I really don't know why the knee-grow comes around, we ain't even friends)So just a few minutes ago, he comes by and asks me to pick some info up for his Mom. Ok cool then he manages to throw in that he gave his kids a good Christmas, saying he bought Jordan's, Wii's, X-box's and all types of stuff. I'm really giving him the side eye thinkin' "oh ok, for real??" So I asked "Where's mine" speaking of a very belated gift in a joking manner and he said "I didn't even get my girl anything, I just told her to go to Foot Locker or Deveroes and get what she wants". Um, that's break-up 101's rule number one is not to mention your new girlfriend to your old girlfriend Especially when you're talking about money. Maybe I shouldn't be salty but it really eats me up. I go out of my way not to mention another guy to him, because there really isn't a reason to. So i'm like ok, joke's over get away from my desk. Neeeeeeeeeeext!!!!

Rambling...And a question at the end

2009-01-14T12:45:00.000-08:00

This is a random post...I probably shouldn't do this because whatever i'm about to say is uninspired/irrelevant like the fact that I just realized what Flo-rida says in his song "Low". He sings about a girl wearing "...apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, the whole club was looking at her" and you know how life kinda imitates art?? Well I just saw a lady walking about of my office that must have taken that song quite literally...She looked like a Yeti, not everyone can do that. She was about 150 lbs past the boots with the fur limit (they were white and went halfway up her calf with long chunks of fur swinging from the top), and as a member of team chunk, I ain't really hatin' but then again I know my big girl limits, and yes there are plenty. Um, where shall I start?
1) When you go get fast food, and can't wait to get home to eat it, sit the whopper down next to you at the traffic light to avoid the stop and stare from the car next to you.
2) It is illegal to wear shoe boots with short dresses/skirts if the circumfrence of your calf is greater than most people's waist or if anyone's ever called you "tree trunk ankles" also lay off the Gladiator sandals (they weren't made with you in mind)
3) You should never wear the following garments if you are medically eligible to get the gastric bypass surgery paid by your insurance: midriffs, spaghetti strap tank tops, two piece bikini's, thigh boots, fishnet pantyhose, stilettos (if you are flat footed or if your foot is on lean)stay away from brands like baby phat or apple bottoms, and stores like "forever 21" they don't have anything in your size and no you cannot pull it off. Remember, just because you can fit it doesn't mean you should wear it.
4)Paris Hilton once hated on Kim K. by saying her thighs look like trash bags filed with cottage cheese, if that's you, we don't wanna see you wearing booty shorts or mini skirts...
Other than that do you...Big women have swag too.
In other news, I just wanted everyone to know that I have "Family Video" account, and yes that's a big deal because I have a delinquency from about 8 years ago, that remains unsettled. Anywho, I've rented a few movies, and haven't been impressed. I mean, maybe i'm picking less than stellar movies but man... I've got a healthy sense of humor, so I decided to get a few comedies, like "Tropic Thunder" and um, I've got to say I couldn't watch the move all the way through, it sucked baad. I heard there was some controversy regarding Robert Downey Jr's character in blackface, I wasn't offended, just wasn't funny. The best parts were on the trailer for the movie, maybe I shoulda hung in there but it was just a bad movie and who am I to wait for it to get better? Step Brothers was pretty funny...Will Ferrell is some kinda stoopid, I dig...Then there was my need for drama (no pun intended) so I rented Righteous Kill with Robert Deniro and Al Pacino, hell i'd watch anything with these guys in it...and it was a tad underwhelming, the plot wasn't complex, in fact a tad predictable, it was just okay, I expected so much more. So I went back to rent more movies, and was at a loss as to what's good. Anyone know of any really good recent movies that are on DVD? The only kinda movies I dont watch are of the scary persuasion (and naw, I ain't scared...well maybe a tad-but I ain't no punk)I even did a google search for the best movies and kept coming up with movies like "Titanic" I even dig indie films and documentaries. Let me know, what's your fave move and what should I rent next?

"Victim of crime? Thank a single mother"

2009-01-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

Don't gang up on me, I didn't say it...It was Ann Coulter who made that comment among many other disgusting statements that I will mention soon. I figure some people don't know who Ann Coulter is, according to Wikipedia,Coulter is an American conservative political commentator, syndicated columnist, and best-selling author. She frequently appears on television, radio, and as a speaker at public and private events. Known for her controversial and confrontational style, Coulter has described herself as a polemicist who likes to "stir up the pot" and, unlike "broadcasters", does not "pretend to be impartial or balanced".[1]
Coulter was promoting her newest book, "Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America," when, during an interview with Matt Lauer, she blamed the majority of society's ills on single mothers. She claims that the "liberal media" exalts the single mom, despite the fact that -- her words, not mine -- most teenage mothers, runaways, murderers and rapists can be traced back to them.

She definitely stirred up the pot this time. In her upcoming book she seems to shoot a fussilade of insults to single mothers and women in general, let me give you a little taste, shall I?
Coulter calls children whose parents divorce "future strippers" in a chapter titled "Victim of a Crime? Thank a Single Mother":
In any event, divorced mothers should be called "divorced mothers," not "single mothers." We also have a term for the youngsters involved: "the children of divorce," or as I call them, "future strippers." It is a mark of how attractive it is to be a phony victim that divorcées will often claim to belong to the more disreputable category of "single mothers." [Page 36]
Later in the chapter, Coulter writes: "Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts." [Page 38]
• Coulter claims that Obama, actress Halle Berry, and musician Alicia Keys "race bait[ed] their way to success": Even grifters know that to be embraced by the cool people in America, you must claim to be a victim, preferably abused by religious fundamentalists.
In a related phenomenon, various half-black celebrities insist on representing themselves simply as "black" -- the better to race-bait their way to success. Actress Halle Berry, singer Alicia Keys, and matinee idol Barack Obama were all abandoned by their black fathers and raised by their white mothers. But instead of seeing themselves as half-white, they prefer to see the glass as half-black. They all choose to identify with the fathers who ditched them, while insulting the women who struggled to raise them.
In 2002, Berry engaged in wild race-baiting to win her Oscar and then ate up most of the awards show with an interminable acceptance speech claiming that her award was "so much bigger than me." People who say "it's bigger than me" always mean it's just about them. During the 2008 campaign, Barack Obama repeatedly said the exact same thing: "This election is bigger than me." Would they be able to pawn off their personal victories as transformative events for the nation if they were not claiming to be doing it for the blacks? [Page 7]
During a Wednesday morning visit to the "Today Show," the Queen of Conservatives unleashed her wrath on single moms and 9/11 widows, calling women who lost their husbands in the terrorist attack "griefazillas" and saying that any societal problem -- including murders and rape -- can be traced back to single moms.
Later in her visit she told Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb that 9/11 widows "advance" socially and financially using their "victimhood as a shield."
Below is an excerpt of the Circus antics Coulter displayed on "The View"
“What is your issue with single mothers?” Whoopi Goldberg inquired.

After a lengthy tirade, Coulter then took issue with the manner in which Hollywood is portraying women having children out of marriage.

“It’s the new thing, as opposed to the sex tape,” Coulter said of single moms. “Hollywood, mainstream media, the New York Times, women’s magazines, exalting single motherhood, movie after movie about single motherhood, book after book, sisters are doing it for themselves.”

Goldberg stopped Coulter’s rampage against single moms, asking, “Are you married? Do you have kids?”

“No, but it wouldn’t change the difference of the facts I cite,” Coulter said, referring to the claims she makes in her book.

“Well, it would,” Goldberg countered. “If you had children, you would know more of what you’re talking about.”

I should firstly say that Coulter is both unwed and has no children so she has no point of reference for anything she has said thus far. But then again, critics don't much need a point of reference, better yet a point worth proving. How is that single motherhood gives one a victim complex? My mother has been a single mom for most of her life, and a victim of many things, but has never exploited any of it for any type of gain or glorification, none of her children are criminals or strippers, her statements are nothing more that a prime example of an extreme hasty generalizarion. I have nothing but respect for the single parents I know, not because of their status of single mothers, but for the audacity and persistence of tackling such a task without being tragic victims, for doing something made for 2 parents and doing the best they can with what they have. And as far as the bi-racial comment, which is absurd as well, how many people that are bi-racial could really pass themselves as white unless they looked completely the part? Race isn't chosen by the parent who raised you, it is by our society who considers a person with a drop of black blood to be black. Well really, i'm about to go back to work, I have to rant on this later from my laptop when I go home...In short damn you Ann Coulter, for trying to sell a book at the expense of women.

No more free rides

2009-01-12T12:06:00.000-08:00

No free rides.

Still a little lethargic I guess, I hate feeling grumpy in the mornings. I have to see people face to face as soon as my day starts, dry is no better than grumpy and today, everyone is getting the very dry “how can I help you” no extras, not convo, no frills…Just straight to the point and good day to you. I didn’t get enough sleep this weekend, had to chauffer a few folk around, it all started with my little sister, who decided to get micro-braids, well this common coif will set you back about $200 it usually leads to hair breaking off and takes hours to get the mout, and it takes 3 africans 8hours to complete. So my sister told me she’ll be done at 2:00am, at 2 she said it’ll be another hour and finally she calls me at 3:30am asking me to pick her up and I don’t know if you know anything about Ohio Winters but it’s not sleeting outside, a mess black ice and freezing rain. I get in my Truck that mind you has FWD, what kind of mess is that, how do you not even equip a SUV with 4 wheel drive??? So my new Durango, all shiny and cute is a dud sliding around like everyone else. It’s embarrassing, I don’t usually tell people I only have 2wd, I just act like I can drive BIG BOY in the snow like most people with trucks/SUV’s anywho… At 4:00am in the morning, my sister comes out the shop looking surprised and sleepy at the same time, her head hurts and so does her butt. That’s incident one, no sleep Friday night, had to pick my sister up from the African Head Shop pro bono, for free. Next morning my sister calls asking me to take her son to the hospital, that isn’t just a ride to the hospital, I had to pic my older sis up one direction double back, pick up my nephew from his granny’s, take her to McDonald’s, then to the hospital, now she assures me she had a ride back, I told her that I couldn’t wait or pick her back up…So what happens after I leave church, she calls me to pick her up, take her to the grocery, to Lee’s Famous Recipe, and then home…She did pay, but this time it was about time, I just didn’t feel like getting out, but I had to (or did I?) So then another friend of the fam calls me at 9:00pm Sunday for a ride, I’m a little perturbed at incident 4 because this time it’s snowing, I didn’t realize how bad the roads were, I get out and it’s a mess, no salt trucks had been out, I saw 3 highway accidents and I’m pissed cause my good fwd having car is just slip sliding at every stop and go, I pick him up and he’s not ready…You could see the steam from my head…I’m risking getting in an accident or getting a ticket from the stoplight camera to pick someone up. Now Dayton has a transit, it’s called the RTA…What gives man? I know what it’s like to need a ride, but i’m about to put my foot down, no more free rides. Gas is too high, I know it’s down from last year but $5 ain’t enough and what can be given to compensate me for my time? I hate to sound like a jerk but lately, people have been calling me more and more, and I was very limited as to who I could all for a ride when needed. 2009 just ain’t the year.

A question for the fellas...

2008-12-30T11:26:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to make this post for about a week now. The stuff's a lil diluted because i've waited so long to do it, i've lost some of my steam...Ok fellas, what do y'all want??? I mean, I just came back from Drewzee 23's blog and a while back he posted a rant about black women and they (sic) attitudes. But this is what i'm saying, i've been told my whole life that i'm just sugar walking, that i'm sooooo nice. Now I know i'm starting in the negative to some guys because i'm a big girl, but besides that, i'd like to think i'm the sh&*! I've been working since I was 15, house, car, no kids, pretty girl, go to church, easygoing, engaging conversation, skills in bed (not to soud prideful but for real...) nice, you hear me, i'm a nice girl, but depending on who you talk to that may be working against me and speaking of (WTF is that all about anyway, being too nice???) men complain about black women being agressive, abrasive, bitchy, bitter, scorn. Don't get me wrong i've been in serious long-term relationships, but I ain't married yet. Everyday one of ya'll come up to me and ask why I ain't married, ya'll surprised somebody ain't (sic) wifed me yet. Bullshiggety...I'm a lil picky but hell, i've lowered my standards considerably since the recession, I know someyall' laid off, so i've laxed a bit but geez. The guy i'm seeing now told me that he liked things the way they are...which is homey/lover/friend but, I can't do it, the whole milk/cow thing. To take a quote from a comedian, "you hit this twice and we go together" it's either that or good wholesome friends, i'm approaching 30...No sir ree...no can do.
I mean judging from the pool that's been interested in me lately, i'm in for one hell of time trying to find a good guy. Living with mama, 6 kids 5 baby momma's, no job, temp service thugs, got barriers to employment like no HS diploma/GED, felonies on their record, no car havin', ain't lookin for a wife, still married but legally separated, no checking account having, commitment-phobes...This is a lil harsh but it a rant nonetheless...Take all this with a grain of salt cause I don't take myself too seriously when it comes to this kinda thing (blogging) and I know a lot of good men aout there that are the opposite of what I described.
I tend to think most men are looking for the perfect woman physically, but can compromise on the rest but I can't play yall like that. But I must know what is it that you're looking for in a woman/wife?

damn damn damn

2008-12-29T10:59:00.000-08:00

Wtf is that Prince????

Death of an icon

2008-12-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

This is some bull...I haven't been able to post my historic post because of the internet policies at work so i'll concede for now but when I get my internet situation resolved then i'll then be able to post more personal things.
Anywho...
So in general and very un-political news...A judge has ruled that Bratz Dolls no longer be sold. I don't know why i'm taking this personally but, well...Maybe I do. It has something to do with the fact that Mattel, the makers of Barbie (c) have brought about the recent court decision. Barbie sales are slumping, the gradual death of an icon was likely ensuing, which partly has to do with Bratz Dolls being th new trend, that's what kids like these days, dolls with attitude that look more like them, big heads and all (lol, jk). Since i'm at work i'll keep it polite. Let me know what you think, this is an excerpt from the CNN article posted today.
The ruling, issued in federal court in Riverside, followed a jury's finding that Bratz designer Carter Bryant developed the concept for the dolls while working for Mattel.

"...The same jury later awarded Mattel $10 million for copyright infringement and $90 million for breach of contract after a lengthy trial stemming from Mattel's 2004 lawsuit ended in August.

Mattel has fought to neutralize the Bratz line for years. The dolls -- with their huge lips, pug noses, almond-shaped eyes and coquettish figures -- were an instant hit with young girls. MGA had taken Bryant's original four dolls and spun out a line of more than 40 characters, complete with accessories and related toys such as Bratz Boyz, Bratz Petz and Baby Bratz.

El Segundo-based Mattel has seen sales of Barbie -- once a rite of passage for American girls -- slide since the doe-eyed Bratz dolls first came on the scene. Domestic sales of Barbie were down 15% in 2007.

Both sides had a lot riding on the judge's decision and had worried about the impact of any ruling during the holiday shopping season.

The judge's injunction named all 40 dolls in the Bratz line, including the four originals -- Yasmine, Chloe, Sasha and Jade. Larson also ordered MGA to reimburse its vendors and distributors for the cost of the dolls and all shipping charges for sending them back.

During trial, Mattel attorneys said MGA made nearly $778 million on the Bratz line since it was introduced seven years ago, and company Chief Executive Isaac Larian made $696 million through June -- but MGA insisted the profits were much less.

The post-trial dispute that prompted Wednesday's ruling centered on whether the jury found that only the first generation of four Bratz dolls infringed on Mattel's (MAT, Fortune 500) copyright or whether all the dolls in the line are in violation.

The jury verdict form only asked panelists to find whether there was infringement and assign a dollar reward, but did not ask them to specify which dolls among the dozens MGA made violated the law.

Los Angeles-based MGA, which no longer makes the first-generation dolls, argued that the later toys in the Bratz line don't violate the copyright and it could continue to sell them.

MGA attorney Raoul Kennedy argued that Larson had the discretion to determine which dolls violated Mattel's copyright. Mattel's attorneys disagreed, saying the court does not have the authority to interpret the jury's findings after the fact.

First Published: December 4, 2008: 6:50 AM ET

Katt Williams for Obama

2008-10-21T14:24:00.000-07:00

A little comic relief from all the seriousness and stress regarding the upcoming election...(NSFW)

An old poem I found (well, 2)

2008-10-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

From 2005.It's interesting to re-read my work, many things i've since forgotten.

Eager to embrace
The nothingness/fullness of
My failure/greatness
I exist unsteadily between them both
Waiting for one of them
To claim me as the author of my own defeat/victory
Ive existed in theory
and stood beside reality too long
Looking out as it looks in
There has been no hard work
To match my full intent
Far too many dreams and could haves
Have come in and out my mouth
Then my foot comes following after to
Stuff my hopeful mouth
To save the world from the
Bullshit that may follow the words
Or the words that may follow the bullshit
I can say these things because
they can change
But if they stay the same let me
Embrace failure for it has been chasing
Faster than I could run
Let it have me without a fight
Because if failure comes for me
I have not believed
I have not believed in the dreams I once called bullshit
Or have not followed the plans that I compulsively create
Or haven’t believed in God to answer my prayers
Then I have given up the faith that has held me all these years
Because the only true failure is in accepting it
Without a fight

And another...(I wrote last year on my birthday)

In 27 years I have learned
That all knowledge is contextual
Change is an action
And it is okay to
want what you want but
It is better to want you need
We are led by our desires
But we are often left by them
And while I have been desiring
The warm gentle touch of a
Loving hand
I have often found myself
Caressing the backs of my
Lovers with these hopeful hands
Because as folklore says
We often give to others
What we desire ourselves
And that for me is love.

A sobering moment for me...

2008-10-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

Ok so I just went to a friend's blog and stumbled across this you tube clip of something that strikes a chord in me. I can't say that i'm surprised though. I'm surprised that people were so vocal with their bigotry but not by what they're saying. Now, I live in Ohio and these people look and sound just like the people I see everyday. Whether people wanna admit it or not, people are voting race this time around. Now I don't want to generalize, what I said was a bit over-reaching but but lets be real, some will vote for Barack to see a black man in office and others will vote for McCain becase they'll never vote for a black man in office. I know some people on both sides of the fence, but it does hurt a lil' to know that the country I live in is still divided by race. A few of my co-workers were Clinton supporters that refuse to vote for Obama, one cited that until he gets his ears pinned back that she isn't voting for him, and often refers to him as "Curious George" and I know then it has nothing to do with policies, platforms, partisanship, issues, party affiliation etc...I just smile and nod, I don't talk politics with whites, and I don't often wear my Obama buttons, and definitely don't do the bumper sticker thing because to me, it's personal and people are angry and I think it's not your political affiliation but who you're voting for that tags you and people automatically think if you vote for Obama while black means you're trying to help the movement to de-throne whites from the top of the proverbial race hierarchy in which they rule and we are the serfs. I know I take things a bit far but I just don't want any snide looks or any crazies keying my car because of who i'm supporting this time around. Anywho, i'm ranting, take a look for yourself.

My point exactly...

2008-10-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

Is she really running for office as the second highest ranking official? I'm sorry but I think she is a joke. I'm embarassed for her.

Spell check anyone?

2008-10-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

And they call us uneducated...

The bottle

2008-10-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

So i'm on you-tube listening to some of Amiri Baraka's speeches and poems and I come across this gem, this work of art by another one of my faves, Gil Scott-Heron. This song, this video, it captures a moment in time, and expresses a reality that many of us know all too well. It lyrically puts me in the mind of Erykah Badu's "Bag Lady". The bottle he sings about is a metaphor and literal at the same time, it speaks to the bottle of alcohol, the baby bottle, and the confines of a metaphoric bottle that surrounds us I could write a whole speech about what this means to me. But I won't because less is more, and i'll just post it so you can interpret this as you will...

Choices

2008-10-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

I've always been a fan of Nikki Giovanni. She has a simple yet profound way of writing. Profound is generous, but she has this uncanny ability to capture the whole of black womanhood in her work. I find myself in her words and that is something no writer has done for me. Giovanni's work is personal and I hold some of them near and dear to me. Two of the poems that belong in my personal restrospective narrative are "Introspection" and "Choices".

CHOICES

If i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do

It's not the same thing
but it's the best i can
do

If i can't have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

Since i can't go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn't lateral

When i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal

I know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry

-Nikki Giovanni

A better auntie

2008-10-10T07:07:00.000-07:00

I love my nephew. I've gotta admit, I haven't been the best auntie...But this weekend, I missed him, I wanted to go pick him up and keep him for awhile. Going to get him would have made my sister happy because I don't take him places often. I want her to understand it has nothing to do with my nephew personally but not having children or a husband makes me a little selfish with my time and space. I'm alone most of the time, so much so that I have finally assimilated and grown comfortable living inside myself if that makes any sense. I'm on the go a lot, and I rarely stay at home, so getting my nephew means being at home or finding activities, the whole idea intimidates me a bit but I think i'm finally over it. I want for him to visit as much as possible, he's my only nephew and I Love him. I know this post makes me sound like a jerk but i'm new at this, so cut me a little slack, i'm getting better.

All Mavericky

2008-10-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

I Love Tina Fey!!!!!!

Arch in his back

2008-10-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Ok so as much as I hate to put Tom Foolery on my page, I just had to...I'm speechless, uh. Yeah. If you can't stomach extreme gayness then don't even do it. Just skip on to the next post.

My debate quickie

2008-10-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

On to the next debate...Biden did a good job representing his running mate. Palin did what I expected her to do, that is avoid answering questions, use populist messages and themes, call herself a Maverick (over and over), use her gender and having so many children as a tool to woo the Clinton supporters, mispronounce words (like nuclear), mistate the facts, don a cynical smirk, wink and nod etc...I just kept expecting her to say "daunt chaaa knaw". She has this glossy eyed, overly simplistic, naive, childishly competetive nature that is quite annoying. Biden conducted himself like a true politician should, being direct, knowing the issues, stating what he knows, standing up to the obviously bulleted list of comebacks that Palin tried to throw at him. I guarantee he didn't go to debate boot camp. I'm just saying...It was a good debate, but i'm looking forward to hear Obama at the next debate, after all, I'm voting the top of the ticket. Obama shake em' off.

blackwoman

2008-09-09T05:43:00.000-07:00

will define herself. naturally. will
talk/walk/live/&love her images. her
beauty will be. the only way to be is
to be. blackman take her. u don't need
music to move; yr/movement toward her
is music. & she'll do more than dance.
-Haki Madhubuti

Rich Republicans

2008-09-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

The McCain's are ballin'. We all know about their seven properties, about Cindy's Anhauser Busch fortune and their other riches. But I think it was a rather bold move for Cindy to walk into the RNC bling blingin' looking like something fresh off of a Vogue mag. Her outfit was estimated to cost around $313,000. Here in Ohio, you could buy three decent sized houses for that.While the GOP spent all night trying to paint Barack Obama as an elitist, Cindy McCain's outfit cost more than the combined income of Michelle and Barack Obama in 2004. In fact it would take 10 years of saving for the average American to afford her outfit. Look, here's my issue...I work in the welfare office so I see the America that has been directly affected by government overspending, job loss, foreclosures etc... I have to look into the eyes of people who have worked their whole lives and are now applying for public assistance with tears welling in their shameful eyes. Our number of intakes have almost tripled in recent months and people are angry, tired, struggling, underemployed, and wanting more than anything to work. People who have taken pay cuts from $25 hr to $9 per hour and have families, or raising children alone. So when I look into the audience of the RNC and see all the cowboy hat wearing, NRA card carrying, out of touch WASPs in the audience, I don't see me. I don't see the people I have to serve everyday as a civil servant. I see people wanting to protect their money, control of the better schools, to keep the gap between the upper and middle class wide. I see right wing conservatives that don't understand the culture of poverty and the changing face of America, the failures of our American school system, the depletion of federal resources, and the loss of a sense of community. This does not work for me, not because I want to vote for a Black man (if so I would've voted for Sharpton), not because I'm black and i'm supposed to vote democrat, not even because I work so closely with the poor and disenfranchised but because I understand the issues and I am hearing a call for change that needs to be answered, that can't be answered by someone who wants to serve as a continuation of all the policies of the current administration. And although i'm a woman, I can't identify with a gun toting, moose hunting, corrupt, sacrilegious, hypocritical, self-proclaimed pit-bull with lipstick from Alaska. I don't expect for the earth to move and the world to change when and if Barack wins the presidency but I do believe that he will not tread on the same path as Bush, and he will make some changes that will be the beginnning to help maintain our status as a world super-power.

Cindy McCain
Oscar de la Renta dress: $3,000
Chanel J12 White Ceramic Watch: $4,500
Three-carat diamond earrings: $280,000
Four-strand pearl necklace: $11,000–$25,000
Shoes, designer unknown: $600
Total: Between $299,100 and $313,100

Wow! No wonder McCain has so many houses: his wife has the price of a Scottsdale split-level hanging from her ears.

Check the facts! My last political rant! (maybe)

2008-09-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

Ok so lets separate fact from fiction on the speeches at the RNC made by Palin and others.
I know this is long so please bear with me.
By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer
Wed Sep 3, 11:48 PM ET

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate

Church and State

2008-09-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

Although I missed it, Palin's speech last night apparantly woo'd the likes of the media and accomplished her goal to fight back both aggressively and with cynicism. Since I haven't heard the speech, i'll probably you-tube it later. I see that the republicans are going at it hard this time around with shock factor and using any tactics necessary to win, but we'll see how that goes. That's politics as usual I guess. But what this media circus is doing is effectively taking the focus off McCain for right now to give him time to prepare for the next two months, he's letting Palin jab at Barack and saving his energy and focus for the debates. Oh, and speaking of Obama, he'll be on The O'Reilly factor today, so you'll have to choose between that and the last day of the RNC. I'll reserve my opinion about the racist and sexist shock jock that is Bill O'Reilly, but I just don't know that it was a smart idea for Barack to appear on such a show where the Host and audience will be all republican. Barack's a fighter and he's tough, so he'll be fine i'm sure, I can't wait to see it. So in closing i'll leave you with the latest on Palin, an article about her saying, things like, "the Iraq war is a Task from God". Now i'm a churchgoing kinda chick but i'll beg to differ...It was a task from Bush, and i'd appreciate it if she'd keep church and state separate., I like the end of the article when Rob Boston says "I miss the days when pastors delivered sermons and politicians delivered political speeches" Simple yet profound.

By GENE JOHNSON, Associated Press Writer
Wed Sep 3, 7:23 PM ET

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told ministry students at her former church that the United States sent troops to fight in the Iraq war on a "task that is from God."

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In an address last June, the Republican vice presidential candidate also urged ministry students to pray for a plan to build a $30 billion natural gas pipeline in the state, calling it "God's will."

Palin asked the students to pray for the troops in Iraq, and noted that her eldest son, Track, was expected to be deployed there.

"Our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God," she said. "That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God's plan."

A video of the speech was posted at the Wasilla Assembly of God's Web site before finding its way on to other sites on the Internet.

Palin told graduating students of the church's School of Ministry, "What I need to do is strike a deal with you guys." As they preached the love of Jesus throughout Alaska, she said, she'd work to implement God's will from the governor's office, including creating jobs by building a pipeline to bring North Slope natural gas to North American markets.

"God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that," she said.

"I can do my job there in developing our natural resources and doing things like getting the roads paved and making sure our troopers have their cop cars and their uniforms and their guns, and making sure our public schools are funded," she added. "But really all of that stuff doesn't do any good if the people of Alaska's heart isn't right with God."

Palin attended the evangelical church from the time she was a teenager until 2002, the church said in a statement posted on its Web site. She has continued to attend special conferences and meetings there. Religious conservatives have welcomed her selection as John McCain's running mate.

Rob Boston, a spokesman for Americans United for Separation of Church and State, lamented Palin's comments.

"I miss the days when pastors delivered sermons and politicians delivered political speeches," he said. "The United States is increasingly diverse religiously. The job of a president is to unify all those different people and bring them together around policy goals, not to act as a kind of national pastor and bring people to God."

The section of the church's Web site where videos of past sermons were posted was shut down Wednesday, and a message was posted saying that the site "was never intended to handle the traffic it has received in the last few days."

Random post

2008-09-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say that i wanna look like Beyonce when I grow up.

From 50 to a billion

2008-09-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

Everytime I see 50 cent on the top of the richest black list (behind Oprah and a few others of course) I wanna hate. I get a lil salty because in my humble opinion, he is an asshole. But who am I to say? Most of my annoyance with him has to do with the arson allegations against him. I believe he had something to do with it and what's worse, his son was in the house when it was set ablaze. Besides all that he's rich. Most of the reason has to do with his deal with Vitamin Water/Coca Cola (when Coca Cola bought Glaceau for 4.1 billion), the 100 million dollar deal that is...Then the 150 million more he made this year. But to add insult to injury, he's prahlly gonna get richer and I don't know whether to hate on em' or congratulate him because he is making some major money moves. Check this out, according to a recent Forbes article:
Last May, 50 paid a visit to billionaire mining baron Patrice Motsepe in South Africa. Flanked by select members of their respective entourages, the unlikely duo descended into a subterranean trove of platinum, palladium and iridium, growing like moss on the earth's warm innards. A spectacular backdrop for a bling-drenched music video, to be sure.

But 50 was there for other business: to forge a joint venture with Motsepe that could soon bring him an equity stake in the mine--and 50 Cent-branded platinum to the world.

"Things that people wouldn't actually expect me to be involved in," 50 muses a few weeks later, reminiscing on his trip. "I've got a diverse portfolio."

Here, in the comfort of a midtown Manhattan office, just miles from the Queens, N.Y., streets where 50 once dealt cocaine, the glowering rapper whose lyrics are often punctuated with gunshots is nowhere to be found. In his place is Curtis Jackson, businessman. Less gangster, more Gordon Gekko, he ticks through the contents of his portfolio: stocks, bonds, real estate, investment pools, all carefully monitored by brokers at Goldman Sachs (nyse: GS - news - people ) and Morgan Stanley (nyse: MS - news - people ).

Over the past 12 months, 50 has added $150 million to his substantial coffers. He hawks clothing, sneakers, videogames, movies, ringtones and flavored water. His earnings were nearly twice as much as last year's hip-hop cash king, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, and over four times the sum garnered by Sean "Diddy" Combs, who ranked third for the second year in a row. After topping Forbes' inaugural Cash Kings list, the trio released a modified version of 50's "I Get Money" called "The Forbes 1-2-3 Remix."

My political rant for the day

2008-09-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

So....Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Palin also has a newborn with Down Syndrome, she has five children altogether. She is a govenor of Alaska, where the population is less than most US cities. She has the thinnest experience in the history of anyone ever to run for VP. Palin is also a gun toting, card carrying member of the NRA. What makes her a good choice again? With all her family issues and a special-needs child why would she want to accept the position that would take her away from family at such a fragile time? I understand trying to get the Hillary vote but, if that is the only reason she was chosen, then she is a tool, a bad tool at that. Suppose something happens to McCain at 72 and having skin cancer (although in remission)then who is she to step into the White House to be the President? surely not a qualified, deserving candidate, it's almost a joke, a scary one at that. I hate to think that someone who is a democrat would cross party lines to vote because their candidate wasn't chosen as VP, do you vote the person or the party, sex or issues, race or agenda? We'll see how this all affects the economy and healthcare, and how long this war is stretched out (100 years anyone?). Well, let me stop while i'm ahead, the story about her daughter is below. Check out how many right wing conservatives and religious folk jump in to her defense. This whole thing is sick and sad. Y'all know who's got my vote.
ST. PAUL, Minn. - John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin said Monday that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant, an announcement campaign aides said was aimed at rebutting Internet rumors that Palin's youngest son, born in April, was actually her daughter's.

A statement released by the campaign said that Bristol Palin will keep her baby and marry the child's father. Bristol Palin's baby is due in late December.

"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents," Sarah and Todd Palin said in the brief statement.

Sarah Palin's fifth child, a son named Trig, was born in April with Down syndrome. Internet bloggers have been suggesting that the child was actually born to Bristol Palin but that her mother, the 44-year-old Alaska governor, claimed to be the mother.

"Senator McCain's view is this is a private family matter. As parents, (the Palins) love their daughter unconditionally and are going to support their daughter," said McCain spokesman Steve Schmidt.

"Life happens," he said.

"An American family," added Salter.

The advisers said Palin told them about the pregnancy during lengthy discussions about her background. At several points during the discussions, McCain's team warned Palin that the scrutiny into her private life would be intense and that there was nothing she could do to prepare for it.

Prominent religious conservatives, many of whom have been lukewarm toward McCain's candidacy, predicted that Palin's daughter's pregnancy would not diminish conservative Christian enthusiasm over the vice presidential hopeful.

"I think it's a very private matter," said Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition of America. "It's a matter that should stay in the family and they have to work through it together. My prayers go out to them."

Added Combs: "We're excited about the governor and think she's going to do well."

Mathew Staver, dean of Liberty University School of Law, said: "We're all sinners."

"We all make mistakes. Certainly, the ideal is not to get pregnant out of wedlock. But she made the right decision after her mistake," he said.

Staver also criticized anyone who would seek to make it a negative campaign issue: "It's absolutely shameful to put her child in the spotlight. She's not running for office. When someone can't face issues, they try to tear down a family."

____

Associated Press Writers Eric Gorski in St. Paul and Steve Quinn in Anchorage, Alaska, contributed to this report.

Foul mouthed lil' kid...

2008-09-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

*SMH* (NSFW)
I know that's a lot of internet jargon, but this isn't safe for work...

I love weddings

2008-08-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

Humming, "it's sooo good loving somebody, when somebody loves you back, and that's a fact!"
Congrats to the newlyweds! Tavon and Candy

Phew, nephew that is...

2008-08-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

It's been two and a half years since my nephew was born and he's never spent the night with me, until tonight that is. I haven't really child-proofed my house yet but it's about 9:30pm and it's dark outside, I'll be taking him over my mom's before church (I ain't ready for that yet) so we'll see what adventures his visit will bring. I am working on being a better auntie. I've taken him places before and he's been over my house, just never slept here. I don't have any children yet so we'll see what this does to my perception of what it's like. Yeah, yeah, I know it's only overnight but this is a first for me. He's not potty-trained and he's quite rambunctious. I don't usually cut the TV on and it's usually pin-drop quiet in here. I have a few toys in the closet and if all else fails i've got crayons and notebooks with notes from Antioch and Sinclair. I want children, I really do. I'm not sure what God has in mind for me, i'm approaching 30 and my clock is ticking. If I don't have children naturally, i've been considering adopting, although there's a lot to ponder about that. I want a child that looks like me and that was made in love with someone special, someone who gives me their last name. Perhaps i'm taking this a bit far but hey, i'm just thinking and blogging, blogging and thinking. This is my train of thought, raw and un-edited. Don't take me to seriously. Well perhaps I should go, make sure all knives are away and make sure there's no dangerous chemicals easily accessible. So until next time. (Perhaps i'll have a story to tell)

Booty

2008-08-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

Ok so, um...I don't really know what to say. This is uhhh, weird bruh...Kinda creepy. Don't go to prison, be on yo best behavior please...This is what they should show instead of scared straight.

What does it mean to be passive aggressive?

2008-08-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

My name as far as this blog is concerned I am the queen of a land called passiveaggressiva...Hence my name underneath all of my posts and as the mediator of all things fly...I will say however that I never had a complete understanding of what it really means to be "PA". So as a student of pop culture and all things current I googled it to make sure I should preside over such a land. my findings were interesting, I fit the profile (kinda but not so much) it was more like a diagnosis, and honestly it's kinda sad. So I figured i'd share the wealth of knowledge, ahem: (there will be a part II to this)

The DSM IV describes this personality type as having passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational settings (DSM IV p. 733). It has also been referred to as a negativistic type of personality that involves more than just a passive resistance to demands. Included in the behaviors are fault-finding, moodiness, vascillating behavior, temper outbursts, sulkiness, with alternation between hostile assertion of self-autonomy, to dependent repentance or contrition.

Passive aggressive types are characterized by their ambivalence about themselves and others. They have difficulty making decisions, are uncomfortable with having to make them, and often leave their decisions to fate or chance, rather than having to accept the finality of a decision.

In addition to their ambivalence, they also exhibit a self-centeredness in that they need to have as many options open as possible, in order to not feel restricted or controlled, no matter what effect this has on others. If ever pinned down to making a decision, in a romantic relationship for example, they may vaguely state what they believe their partner wants to hear, only to take it back gradually, in their actions. If they are confronted about this behavior, they may exhibit anger and act as if they have been attacked and victimized, rather than own up to their ambivalence. Their goal is to postpone decisions, with the hopes that something will happen to decide for them. However, if the decision is made for them, they often backtrack to try to undo the finality of that decision.

According to some theorists (Pretzer & Beck, 1996), persons with this personality view themselves as being self-sufficient but feel vulnerable to control and interferance from others. They believe they are misunderstood by others, a view that is exacerbated by the negative responses they receive from others for their vascillations.

A primary conflict for passive aggressive types, is dependency. They fear the power of those on whom they are dependent, even if those they depend on never exert power or are not aware of the conflict. Rather than work on their own problems with this dependency, they vascillate between submissiveness and deliberate rebelliousness. Their relationships suffer because partners, friends, and/or family members cannot decipher or understand their evasiveness as attempts at independence. Often the passive aggressive person is not entirely conscious of his/her behavior.

Sometimes the passive aggressive person (PA for brevity) is acting against internal pressure rather than real expectations from others. The PA imagines everyone in his/her life to be making unreasonable demands. Often the PA is correctly perceiving that significant others have expectations of them, which triggers the dependency vs self-sufficient conflict, to which they act out accordingly. With so much internal conflict and energy spent on battling with the feelings that are generated (feelings of imprisonment real or imagined, feelings of limitations from making decisions, feelings of entitlement, etc.), there is little energy left to look at the self.

The underlying conficts typically are rooted in childhood, where one or both parents did not allow the child to win any battles of self-assertion or power. The child only had the option of asserting him/herself via passive, hidden tactics. Since children "know" on some level, that they are dependent on their parents, openly asserting themselves when their parents have worked against this, would not be an option.

On a preconscious level the child, who is too intellectually immature to question his/her parents, would pick up on behavioral ques, even if the communication from the parents was not overt. The impressions or conditioning the child would receive regarding assertion, aggression, individuation, would mold the child into picking other options for self-assertion. Since all living beings need to assert themselves, inhibiting that to a great extent assures alternate routes of expression to be found, whether they are adaptive or not. Displacement of this anxiety or conflict, onto present-day relationships of the adult PA, keeps the PA involved in the struggle with individuation, that could be resolved if the original conflict were addressed.

Being PA does not mean one is not as aggressive as openly aggressive types. It means that the aggression is hidden, not open, but still expressed. PAs can be even more aggressive while preserving their own belief in their passive nature. The aim of the behavior is to aggress while hiding and appearing passive.

Some theorists have considered that the PA may have been constitutionally more aggressive or sensitive as a baby. A parent might naturally try to curb aggressiveness in a toddler without considering future behavioral consequences.

Passive aggressive behavior has been confused with narcissistic behaivor since the PA behaviors can have a narcissistic self-serving quality. However, PA behaviors exist in different personality types and not exclusively in narcissistic types

I need a tip drill? Get over it already!

2008-08-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

I should be a better blogger, really I should...I'm on the computer a lot, everyday in fact and I have so many things I want to talk about, so many things on my mind and I tend to look at my blog and then find something else to do.
Today I had a conversation with a friend about a video clip I saw yesterday of Nelly being intervied by a radio personality who mentions the dreaded "Tip Drill" video. I just kept thinking to myself, how many times and ways can people make Nelly pay for that video? Do I think it was mysogynistic? yes. Is he more responsible than other artists both black and white, BET videos, Paris Hilton, the modeling industry in whole? No. Do I think that all that he donates to charity should be overshadowed by something that was recorded years ago? No. I just think that the media likes to harpoon black celebs on their downfalls and in turn exploits them at their worst moments and will not let them move beyond controversy. Well just in case you'd like to know what i'm talking bout...This chick is killin' me...

A virgin at the auction

2008-08-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I decided to go to my first auction. And as always there is a story. So my co-worker and I decide to go to a luxury home auction also the contents of a cleaning business. There were no minimums required. So when we arrive, I notice that luxury was an understatement, the homes in the gated community started at about 700,000. I didn't even feel like I was in Dayton...The family was downsizing. They auctioned off everything from furniture to books to grills to pianos to an air hockey table and more...Upon arrival, I notice a small mob gathering around a table, there was mostly junk on it and the auctioneer started the prices at around $5 per box and eventually auctioned all the tiems on the table for around about $12.50. There was every business book and manual known to man, childrens movies, and pots and pans. Now I just wanted to see what it was like so I only had $10 at the time. I really wanted some of that stuff, but here's the interesting part of the day.
Some of the people hoarded their wares off to the side after they won their bids. Afterwards people were willing to sell some of their items. So a co-worker and I looked over at a bucket of umbrellas, really really good expensive umbrellas, that she told me were auctioned off at about $25 for the entire bucket. So this white guy, nicely dressed, a businessman obviously, came peering over asking if we were interested in anything from his pile, and so we looked. Some things interesting, some not. But I say a really fancy umbrella, and I offered him $5 for it, after all he'd gotten a bucket of about 12 high quality umbrellas for %25, he looked at me absurdly almost insulted, he said "Do you know these retail for over $35 each?" I replied, "but you bought these used for the price of one" so he asked me to go higher, and I said forget it. So I see a stock pot, i've been needing on of these lately, and I offered him a dollar then 2, to get the same type of look and he said $5 and I said ok. My co-worker an auction guru, kept fanning and waving for me not to buy it but I did, she later told me that at estate auctions you can get better pots, whole boxes of them for like $1. So i'm dumbfounded, wanting my money back after all I only had $10. So I attempt to get my money back and this guy looked and me very sternly and abrubtly saying "but you already bought it, thank you though".
I decided I was done. I had to re-think going into business. I'll explore more later. My break is over.
To be continued....

Today is...

2008-08-12T08:01:00.000-07:00

Ok so it's here...My b-day
I've been here 28 years still trying to figure out what to do next.
It's not a big deal anymore I guess...
I'm having an all out paaaaaarrrrttttaaay on my 30th birthday though!!!

This always makes me smile...

2008-07-31T19:36:00.000-07:00

I remember when this first aired. I had to be Rudy's age. This is a classic, i'mma make my kids watch this.

Refreshing music (pt II)

2008-07-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ok so here's the song of the month. Last month I posted something on Karina Pasian, this time it's Jazmine Sullivan, this song almost brought tears to my eyes. It wasn't really the song, more her voice. It's soulful and fresh, people compare her to Lauryn Hill but she has a sound all her own and the song is good, the video is nice, be on the lookout. Can't wait till the CD comes out. Check out the video, I promise you won't be disappointed!

Now, this is a throwback, she was on Apollo at the age of 11. Her voice was rich then, where'd she get all that soul, I got the chills about 5 times while she was singing "Accept what God Allows"

I know 'yall remember Showbiz

2008-07-12T21:12:00.000-07:00

Before Chuck E Cheese...We'll they're back at it. This is so damn funny!

This week, better, much better...

2008-07-11T07:51:00.001-07:00

So i'm in a better mood. I think I should probably delete the last post, one might mistakenly slip some Zoloft in my tea if I continue on that way. So it's been an interesting week, from Ol' Jesse poisoning the proverbal well of our first beakon of light in years, Obama to The Williams sisters (Venus nem')not getting much press after their victories at Wimbledon to the rumors that E badu is pregnant with Jay Electronica's baby (yes yes ya'll that would make three rapper babydaddies) I could go on and on...I've been visiting my fave blogs recently and have been thoroughly entertained this week. My favorite is www.crunktastical.net Fresh is the best hands down. Then I make my rounds to Bossip, and then I go to another excellent blog, www.pioneerwoman.com, and of course CNN.com which isnt' a blog at all but that's how I get my daily dose of news, I'd never on purpose watch Fox news. I read that they often make a mockery of Obama's blackness and appealing to the fears and stereotypes of many people pertaining to race and religion. First there was the Obama/Osama slip-up then there was the "Michelle, Obama's baby mama" and then calling fist bump something related to being a terrorist tactic. smh @ them. They sould be so 'shamed.
Anywho, I reckon I should go (reckon is a new/old word i've been using lately) and do some work, but have a wonderful weekend. I'm sure i'll be blogging again soon. I'm back at it yall!!!

The Fourth

2008-07-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning in a contemplative mood. A tad bitter.
Lately I have been moody, riding my usual wave of emotions. So, yesterday was the Fourth of July, the day irritated me a bit. I was reluctant to get dressed and go over my mom's to help her barbeque. I just wasn't feeling the whole thing. Let me explain, a lot of holidays become so consumer driven that the meaning is lost and then all it becomes about is spending money to commemorate the day. I bet Jehovah's Witnesses have money to save since they don't spend money on holidays. For the Fourth of July, there's the food for the cookout, there's the buying of the fireworks, the red white and blue clothing or your "outfit for the fourth", hair and nails for the ladies, the festive decor and whatever else your traditions are related to Independence Day. Not only that, I have been hearing m80's explode for a week now, and for some reason, many kids tend to save a stash of fireworks for the week following the fourth. Last night there was a deep fog that engulfed the city, that combined with a zillion people about there lighting their pirotechnics and the big shows the city plans every year, my night felt surreal and extra smokey. Since people like to get drunk on the Fourth, there were checkpoints everywhere, and although I am legit, I had to try to find an alternate route because I have an unpaid surveillance speeding ticket that remains unpaid. I needed gas desperately, but all the gas stations were occupied by people stuntin' in their fourth of july outfits and D-boys with their over the top big wheels (profile cars), panhandlers, and women parading around in stillettos and short skirts. All I want is gas, and for whatever reason every gas station I pass on the West Side resembles a club parking lot. I cannot. So then, out of options, I pull up at "Club Shell" and wait at the pump for this $4.09 gas that seems to be going out of style...I finally arive home a few minutes later exhausted and perhaps a bit lonley. Maybe this holiday is a drab for me because last year the night of the Fourth was when my ex and I broke up. Maybe i'm taking it a bit far, but it didn't use to be this way. Maybe i'm hormonal, i'll stop while i'm ahead.

...and in with the new

2008-06-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

'Nuff said...

Is this really the highest ranking official?

2008-06-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

Well, he's on his way out!!! I know it sounds cheesy but "Yes we can"!!!!

Kiddie Prom?

2008-06-04T10:20:00.000-07:00

I know it's been awhile and my blog has morphed into something kinda like a pop-culture blog, buy I just haven't had the time to post the kind of material that I once did. But I will soon, until then, I just wanted to post yet another example of for lack of a nicer term, "tom foolery". Who even makes weave, heels, and prom dresses in this size??? Here's a bit of advice, don't be sending your barely potty trained kids to prom it makes us look bad.

Everyone Nose

2008-05-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I am a Pharrell stan, better yet let me be honest, I heart N.E.R.D.
What's funny is that I have a huge music collection and i've never bought a Pharrell album nor a NERD album. I think Pharrell and chad Hugo Kill it everytime they lay a beat. There's something futuristic about it, and the horns, synthesizers, and heavy drum beats create what I like to call "eargasms". I even like their artists, everyone from The Cool Kids to Teyana Taylor. It makes me wanna be a part of this newer generation of kids who wear brightly colored clothes and skateboard. Pharrell's a producer that can rap, that is to be applauded because I heard a rap by Puffy that was far less than stellar, it made me sad in fact. So the reason i'm posting all this is because I just recently heard "Everyone Nose", not to mention the kickass remix, and I can't help but to jig to it. I even had to reason with mysely as to if I could really jig to a song about women using Cocaine in the bathroom at the club (everyone knows). I don't care, it's funky anyway. Btw just in case you wanna know, Chad Hugo could get it. In short, i've gotta buy this new album. I may even go back and get the throwbacks.

Frontin

2008-05-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

When you front, this is what you look like. -Absurd

Breath of fresh air...

2008-05-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

So i've been wanting to find some good music, and i've been checking the blogs and random playlists for something that makes me move. This song by Karina Pasian moved me but in a different way, I have hope for the next generation, however corny that sounds, but it was really refreshing to hear a youg woman sing a song like this and make it sound good too...It's called "Sixteen at War"

Not from the Ace! These are amazing....

2008-05-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

CAKES!!! How did they make icing and fondant do that? on the last cake there even appears to be outdoor neon tubing on the cake...These cakes are by Zhanna, believe it or not there's even more amazing cakes...

Bad Luck BBQ

2008-04-24T19:28:00.000-07:00

So I told myself I would blog about my latest adventure, good ol' fashioned barbeque. So I decided that since the weather has been wonderful lately, then I should do something outdoors, something american, something not too labor intensive, something new. Now, i'm starting to learn to cook but grilling is a new arena for me. I excitedly hurried to the nearest Family Dollar to buy my wares. I bought the traditional tools, charcoal, lighter fluid, a spray bottle, and aluminum foil. I had everything planned out, i'd boil the chicken first in a special brine, and then i'd grill some pre-tenderized steak, then make some mac n' cheese and those new "grillin beans". Before I stray too far, the I must tell you that my grill isn't some huge to do, it is a very modest, small, and janky grill I bought from Wal-mart for a frugal $19 and the time it was a pretty big deal. It had been on my cousin's back porch for must about all fall and winter, so I expected a bit of wear and tear but this thing once shiny red was now a dull, faded pink and the charcoal that was still in the pit was stuck. Now I don't mind domestic work but I'm not a get down and dirty kinda gal, so I look for the closest set of gloves. The gloves were actually the yellow dishwashing gloves, a little ghetto I know. I dumped the ash but only half fell, so I had to dig the remains out the bottom with my glove protected hands. I'm trying my hardest to make this a short story but that's not how this is working out so please bear with me. One thing I forgot was a grill brush, and I wasn't cleaning this grill in my house. So I decided to take the lazy way out and line the top rack with aluminum foil, um wrong answer and i'll tell you why in a few. Next I light the coals, it is very likely that I over-did the lighter fluid thing. It is likely that I did something wrong with the fire, I could tell that something wouldn't be done in the middle (thank goodness I boled the chicken first)So finally, I placed the meat on the grill and closed the lid. I waited a few minutes and realized that I didn't poke holes in the foil so then I did. Well did I mention that I went shopping at Family Dollar, and while they do have name brands, I opted for the generic .69 kind, it was of the cheap persuasion so what was supposed to be small poke holes, turned into savagely huge tear marks. So if you're keeping up, the coals aren't hot, the holes are too big in the foil and my meat isn't really cooking so I decided to re-light the fire. Now the trick was to do it without any fatalities. Hmmm, this would prove harder than it sounds. I'll spare you the details but needless to say I made it. After a few sprays, by brand new spray bottle died. Frustrated, I took the meat off the grill, and made a back up dinner, skyline chili spaghetti. So in short, I won't be grilling again any time soon it sucks, maybe I just suck. It's over, i'm done, I'm officially a bake boil or fry kind of girl. Please, don't laugh at the pics. btw, the meat turned out really flavorful but my grandma said her chicken wasn't done and that eating blood of an animal works against her body so she couldn't partake. Hmm, my piece seemed fine but that sorry excuse for a steak was pretty bad, it was pretenderized but managed to be tough, ford tough. Uh, if you barbeque, can I come over? I ain't got it!

Urban

2008-04-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

I've got a lot of favorite artists. Thomas Green, Kadir Nelson, Paul Goodnight, but now adding to that collection of non abstract contemprary artists is David M. Lenz, this is from his "Urban" series. It takes an extrodinary talent to be able to paint such works of art. At first glance, this looks like a photograph, well at second and third glance too...Check him out, www.davidmlenz.com

The End is Near

2008-04-11T10:37:00.001-07:00

For the fellas...

2008-04-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

How about a these cufflinks...At first glance, boring...then you notice these aren't just any cufflinks, they're actually USB's, now that's combining fashion with function.

In the future...

2008-04-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

I hope we're not concerned with who has the flyest Gas Mask. Designer Diddo Velema produced some high fashion gas masks. It's almost laughable, kinda like when I saw designer SARS masks in China, bafoonery I say...I'm gon' get me a designer water tank in the last days...One day you might walk into the hospital and see the nurses walking around in Prada scrubs with Karl Lagerfield goggles and Jimmy Choo croc's. Perhaps i'm taking it a bit far but I never thought i'd see the day when I saw a car with a Gucci logo'd interior, one with a Louis Vuitton logo on the door and all this crazy stuff that people do to help themselves look like idiots. What did Kweli say? "...Like slaves on a ship talkin' bout' who got the flyest chains". On my way to work I stumbled across the Russ Parr show and they were talking about African Americans, and the question of the day was "Are you afraid to look poor?" The went on to read the statistics on consumer spending of African Americans and it says that we spend far more on Cars, Clothes, Electronics and Jewelry than education, investments, books, and savings. It's sad but true. I hate to make this a black issue, but I have to pull from my only point of reference. People were on air denying it, while others chose to keep it real, but most people I know buy Coach purses even if it's fake, the same with sunglasses, if it says D&G people will buy it because it's all about perception. we want to look like we have something. I work in a welfare office where the recipients often look better than me. And Even though I think it's sad, I can admit that I have a spending problem, last year I pulled off the lot in a new SUV, but can barely afford to keep it on half a tank, I mean the thing only gets 17 MPG and it takes close to $100 to fill it up with the most recent spike in gas prices. I say all this to say, we've got to do better.

Small Space BIG Style

2008-04-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

this is amazing, now in addition to being a foodie, i'm a teckie, and whatever you call someone who's into art and design, an artie maybe? I wish I had loftier goals, but hey...this is a sofa that transforms into bunk beds...When I get a degree, and move, and buy a new place, it's gonna be modern. I think this is so cool.
You can check out the article at www.notcot.org

Come on Solange...

2008-04-08T16:55:00.001-07:00

I couldn't resist...
Are you feeling this look?

This is for you Jahzie...

2008-04-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

So according to my best friend Lauryn Hill is the undisputed queen of all queens, so it's fun to bring funny thing to her attention like this... It's a re-make of Ex factor, with Syleena Johnson and RayJ which almost sounds as good as the original, that is...until RayJ starts rapping...Eat your heart out L-Boogie, what do you think?
Follow the link to Soulbounce, I don't know how to upload the player onto this page, as you can from the last post i'm not too great at this...
Copy this url into your browser:
http://www.soulbounce.com/soul/2008/04/syleena-johnson-does-lauryn-hill-again.php

Just in case you have any problems getting there it's on www.soulbounce.com

Gives me Chills...

2008-04-08T16:17:00.001-07:00

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This song takes me back to my "deep" days...This song makes me want something more...It makes me anxious, it makes me wanna go to a place where I can be in love, and can be me perfectly, a place where I have thing to do like go to musuems, paint, have dinner parties with friends, have a home studio, travel often, drive to NY to hang out, go to live concerts, write books, sip on double shots expresso while writing a poem on my macbook at a trendy Starbucks or Borders. This song makes me wanna live big and I don't know what does it for me, it could be Jill's voice, or the lovey dovey words...I don't know but since i'm not in the place that I wanna be right now, i'll just settle for watching this video with my eyes closed smiling imagining myself there snapping at the end of her performance...riding the night wind, taking photographs after the show, happy...

Super Sweet 16

2008-04-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

As promised, these are the pics from the twin's big day, their 16th birthday. They had great fun with friends and fam. It was a day full of BBQ, tennis, bubbles, kids, dancing, and laughter. Hannah Montana the super mogul is the flippin Bill Gates of the Tween market I tell ya, she dominates the field. The twins had a HM dog tag, purse, cake and bracelets. When they go to sleep, the will sleep in their HM gowns and in the morning they will watch their HM "Make a Wish" DVD...crazy right? Well i've got things to do, until next time...

Happy Birthday Spring...Can't stand lame dudes...

2008-04-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

So i'm back at home on the internet...I'm pretty excited about that, so I decided to make a post. It's not about anything drastically important or life altering. Just a reg'lar old post about things like today being the twins' birthday, the great spring weather, the fact that I should be going to church today...The twins turn sixteen, i'm getting old...They will be graduating High School soon, for their birthday I bought a outdoor game set, I think they'll like it. It's a beautiful day, mom's BBQ'ng. Yesterday was nice but today will be better, the sun's already shining. I'm happiest on days when the sun appears to brighten my days. I have so much to be thankful for, which is why I should be at church, I had a long night last night, went to O'Charley's, the pool hall, midnight bowling, and to the waffle house. I didn't come strolling in the house until about 4:00am and then decided to edit some pictures online for awhile before my sweet escape to sleep. Well anyway, i'll post pics of the twins' birthday later on...Oh and one more thing, my cousin's friend (with benefits) tried to set me up on a blind date with his cousin and I think it was the most strange hour that happened in awhile to me, I wanted to be somewhere else, or wish i could've somehow erased the fact that he was sitting next to me. The cousin's friend tells the guy to meet us at the Waffle House, my first impression was of him roughhousing one of his cousins, not in a play play kinda way either. Then he barely spoke, so things just went downhill from there, no formal introduction or anything. So when I sat down, he made some ridiculuous comment about me acting like I did't want to sit next to him, so he sat across from me. I was fine with that but I wasn't acting any particular way at the time. Even if I wasn't feeling the guy I would have still tried to be good company, come on'...So I say something or another to let him know he could join me in the booth, he obliges but reluctantly. His body language was horrible, he acted 15 but looked 4o, had no conversation, and spent most of the time asking me about my coffee. I understood that there was no chemistry, no attraction physical or otherwise early on, like when he got out of his banged up Surburban, but I didn't act like a 7th grader, after awhile, I gave up and started talking to my cousin, we acted as if each other weren't there. The date quickly turned int a casual outing with me and my cousin talking exclusively to each other and them doing the same. The only thing that irked me was that we couldn't have had conversation for each other even if there was no physical attraction, it almost seemed as if he really wanted me to know he wasn't feeling me. This guy didn't have a job, wore some dusty Fila's, had yellow teeth, wasn't attractive in the slightest, had black smokers lips, must have been 40 and is still going to the club, had naked pics of various women on his pic phone, had no intellect, is a dime bag pusher, and is socially defunct. Now tell me why I shouldn't have sat in the car the whole time refusing to participate in this bafoonery? Geez! i've got to move from this town...

A little salty this morn...

2008-04-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

It has come. June will be the 10 year mark. Ten years since I walked across a hot, humid, and overpacked gymnasium full of onlookers and supporters to accept my High School Diploma. Our orators were full of hope and advice, by the time I left, I was convinced the world was mine. Perhaps it was, but now...hmm...I have a new perspective, a tad more realistic if you will...I didn't really think much about what I would be doing, but I definitely anticipated having a degree by now, having a husband and established in my career. I'm indecisive, why did I think that? The inability to be single minded may be perhaps my huberis. I don't know, all this is a bit overwhelming for a Tuesday morning, I should probably be working. Yeah, that's what I think i'll do because I need to reframe and perhaps i'll feel better about this whole thing.

LOVIN IT!

2008-03-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

So i'm also trying to get tickets to the Mary J Blige/Jay Z concert... Looking forward to summer! Shouts out to Questo for the hot pics and editing techniques, besides being a drummer for one of the illest bands (no pun intended) he is a great photog too... Ain't it hot!!!

Touch the sky

2008-03-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

As a self-professed "Photo-fiend" I have got to say this pic made me smile...Touch the sky baby!I love Kanye and frequent his blog but today I was at one of my other faves Okayplayer and gingerlynn took these photos at the JayZ Vegas show in 07'. I'm saving up to buy a digital SLR but i've not been able to get up the revenue to get the one I want. You can donate to the fund if you'd like. I'll post some of my pics soon.

Hilbama

2008-03-20T11:28:00.001-07:00

Just a lil' Thursday Humor...But seriously, one of them needs to hurry up and reach the delegate benchmark, because I'm almost getting tired of the debates and justifications, arguing, in-fighting and random ridiculousness.

30 seconds...An eye trick

2008-03-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

Ok so I thought this was so cool. First of all that someone could create something that appears to be a negative on a metal surface. But what's even better is that if you stare at her nose for 30 seconds and then close your eyes this picture will be inverted and you'll see the real colors.

Time

2008-03-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

I keep fretting about being successful and doing things with my life, things that almost thirty year olds tend to do I guess. Recently i've discovered a new aging me. One that doesn't know how to do more than one current dance (wouldn't look right doing them either btw), who doesn't wear gym shoes and no longer thinks going to the club is cool, that can't drink milk with a good conscience, is discovering smile lines, not to mention i've recieved the invitation to my 10 year class reunion. Guess I should be depressed but I've changed perspectives. I'm approaching my prime I guess. If you look at the clock (pictured and explained below) i'm almost at the halfway point if I should be so lucky to make it past 60 years. I'm now thinking about retirement plans, nest eggs, a family, Legacy, contribution, heaven and hell, dying and most importantly I have recently rediscovered living. I'd like to live well. Anywho, more about the clock read below.

This is "The Life Clock" a clock mechanism slowed down 61320 times (each number represents years) would you get one? As Erykah badu sings, Time a wastin'...

Vote 08

2008-03-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

and my last blog for the day says it all....

Now i've got to get back to work!

Vote

I Love You Katt

2008-03-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ok I'm on a roll now...I just wanted to show Katt williams a lil love, not this mouch tho...

We've got to do better....

2008-03-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

Ok so I just wanted to post my version of the Hot Mess of the Day...
Jolly ranchers tho?

I know what you're thinking

2008-03-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

This lil girl captures my sentiments exactly...I live in Ohio, but I didn't do it...Sorry Barack!

Obamarama

2008-02-22T07:23:00.000-08:00

So today...I'm still sick, it sucks. I don't know what's worse coughing up phlegm or having warm flesh, or the faucet nose or the tightness in my chest that makes it feel concave. I'm so over this flu season, I may even get the flu shot next year ( say that every year and never do). I've been following this presidential bid pretty closely and the more I want to support Obama, I realize that he's still a polititian nonetheless. I still get irritated about politics and how things are over-promised and under-delivered, how orchestrated this all is. But it's a game I must play and I will choose a candidate who seems to sell me what i'm trying to buy. One of my favorite blogs (to the right, the cyincal ones) did a post about going to an Obama rally, it was pretty funny in a sad way, you should check it out.

my annual "Valentines Day" rant (but only when i'm single)

2008-02-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

So the word of the day is "Love".
Blood red and mylanta pink are the colors of the month in lieu of this pagan holiday of St Valentine that'll be coming to take our pocket money soon. Valentines day, hmm...I try not to think about it too much but everytime I walk into Walgreens or CVS, i'm bombarded by a fusillade of fake roses, cheap candy, heart shapes, balloons, teddy bears and oversized cards. I try not to be too cynical about it but give me a break. Perhaps i'm a bit on the wrong side because i'm single but i've never been much into it. Well...there's this one year that I made my boyfriend a basket full of indulgences for the bad habits which I despised, it had beer, black and milds, incense and chocolates. He wasn't a teddy bear kinda guy. I felt inclined to give him what he liked.
Speaking of love and relationships, I recieved a forward today that had a few quotes from Oprah, I think i'll keep some of this in mind when I put myself back on the market. Any thoughts? i'll be blogging about some of this later.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think "it will get better"
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted

Money never solves a money problem...

2008-02-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

Like me, you’ve probably grown tired of seeing a picture of peanut butter oatmeal, so I reckon I should begin a new post. I mostly blog when I’m feeling something. Today I’m not feeling anything extreme, but I am happy that today is Friday. Income tax season is here, this is a time I’ve been waiting on for at least 10 months, yay! A couple of months ago, I read an article on Yahoo from the Associated Press that claimed that tax season could be delayed because of some pending legislation. I think I had an anxiety attack, that was horrible, how could I wait? I needed to pay my tuition so I could start school Winter Quarter, to pay bills and well of course splurge on some annual indulgences that I don’t really need but want nonetheless. So this is it…Christmas in February. And although I have my sights set on techie toys like a 56’ Plasma, GPS Navigational System, The new uber thin Mac laptop, and other sweet indulgences of the home couture persuasion. But hmm, lets see the factual issue in this matter is, that I need to pay the bills to live in the house and drive the car and need the degree to be able to afford the lifestyle that I’d like. By saying that, I mean this, I’ll be paying the bills and the tuition (God Willing).