Random post

I just wanted to say that i wanna look like Beyonce when I grow up.

From 50 to a billion

Everytime I see 50 cent on the top of the richest black list (behind Oprah and a few others of course) I wanna hate. I get a lil salty because in my humble opinion, he is an asshole. But who am I to say? Most of my annoyance with him has to do with the arson allegations against him. I believe he had something to do with it and what's worse, his son was in the house when it was set ablaze. Besides all that he's rich. Most of the reason has to do with his deal with Vitamin Water/Coca Cola (when Coca Cola bought Glaceau for 4.1 billion), the 100 million dollar deal that is...Then the 150 million more he made this year. But to add insult to injury, he's prahlly gonna get richer and I don't know whether to hate on em' or congratulate him because he is making some major money moves. Check this out, according to a recent Forbes article:
Last May, 50 paid a visit to billionaire mining baron Patrice Motsepe in South Africa. Flanked by select members of their respective entourages, the unlikely duo descended into a subterranean trove of platinum, palladium and iridium, growing like moss on the earth's warm innards. A spectacular backdrop for a bling-drenched music video, to be sure.

But 50 was there for other business: to forge a joint venture with Motsepe that could soon bring him an equity stake in the mine--and 50 Cent-branded platinum to the world.

"Things that people wouldn't actually expect me to be involved in," 50 muses a few weeks later, reminiscing on his trip. "I've got a diverse portfolio."

Here, in the comfort of a midtown Manhattan office, just miles from the Queens, N.Y., streets where 50 once dealt cocaine, the glowering rapper whose lyrics are often punctuated with gunshots is nowhere to be found. In his place is Curtis Jackson, businessman. Less gangster, more Gordon Gekko, he ticks through the contents of his portfolio: stocks, bonds, real estate, investment pools, all carefully monitored by brokers at Goldman Sachs (nyse: GS - news - people ) and Morgan Stanley (nyse: MS - news - people ).

Over the past 12 months, 50 has added $150 million to his substantial coffers. He hawks clothing, sneakers, videogames, movies, ringtones and flavored water. His earnings were nearly twice as much as last year's hip-hop cash king, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, and over four times the sum garnered by Sean "Diddy" Combs, who ranked third for the second year in a row. After topping Forbes' inaugural Cash Kings list, the trio released a modified version of 50's "I Get Money" called "The Forbes 1-2-3 Remix."

My political rant for the day

So....Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Palin also has a newborn with Down Syndrome, she has five children altogether. She is a govenor of Alaska, where the population is less than most US cities. She has the thinnest experience in the history of anyone ever to run for VP. Palin is also a gun toting, card carrying member of the NRA. What makes her a good choice again? With all her family issues and a special-needs child why would she want to accept the position that would take her away from family at such a fragile time? I understand trying to get the Hillary vote but, if that is the only reason she was chosen, then she is a tool, a bad tool at that. Suppose something happens to McCain at 72 and having skin cancer (although in remission)then who is she to step into the White House to be the President? surely not a qualified, deserving candidate, it's almost a joke, a scary one at that. I hate to think that someone who is a democrat would cross party lines to vote because their candidate wasn't chosen as VP, do you vote the person or the party, sex or issues, race or agenda? We'll see how this all affects the economy and healthcare, and how long this war is stretched out (100 years anyone?). Well, let me stop while i'm ahead, the story about her daughter is below. Check out how many right wing conservatives and religious folk jump in to her defense. This whole thing is sick and sad. Y'all know who's got my vote.
ST. PAUL, Minn. - John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin said Monday that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant, an announcement campaign aides said was aimed at rebutting Internet rumors that Palin's youngest son, born in April, was actually her daughter's.

A statement released by the campaign said that Bristol Palin will keep her baby and marry the child's father. Bristol Palin's baby is due in late December.

"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents," Sarah and Todd Palin said in the brief statement.

Sarah Palin's fifth child, a son named Trig, was born in April with Down syndrome. Internet bloggers have been suggesting that the child was actually born to Bristol Palin but that her mother, the 44-year-old Alaska governor, claimed to be the mother.

"Senator McCain's view is this is a private family matter. As parents, (the Palins) love their daughter unconditionally and are going to support their daughter," said McCain spokesman Steve Schmidt.

"Life happens," he said.

"An American family," added Salter.

The advisers said Palin told them about the pregnancy during lengthy discussions about her background. At several points during the discussions, McCain's team warned Palin that the scrutiny into her private life would be intense and that there was nothing she could do to prepare for it.

Prominent religious conservatives, many of whom have been lukewarm toward McCain's candidacy, predicted that Palin's daughter's pregnancy would not diminish conservative Christian enthusiasm over the vice presidential hopeful.

"I think it's a very private matter," said Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition of America. "It's a matter that should stay in the family and they have to work through it together. My prayers go out to them."

Added Combs: "We're excited about the governor and think she's going to do well."

Mathew Staver, dean of Liberty University School of Law, said: "We're all sinners."

"We all make mistakes. Certainly, the ideal is not to get pregnant out of wedlock. But she made the right decision after her mistake," he said.

Staver also criticized anyone who would seek to make it a negative campaign issue: "It's absolutely shameful to put her child in the spotlight. She's not running for office. When someone can't face issues, they try to tear down a family."

____

Associated Press Writers Eric Gorski in St. Paul and Steve Quinn in Anchorage, Alaska, contributed to this report.

Foul mouthed lil' kid...

*SMH* (NSFW)
I know that's a lot of internet jargon, but this isn't safe for work...

I love weddings

Humming, "it's sooo good loving somebody, when somebody loves you back, and that's a fact!"
Congrats to the newlyweds! Tavon and Candy

Phew, nephew that is...

It's been two and a half years since my nephew was born and he's never spent the night with me, until tonight that is. I haven't really child-proofed my house yet but it's about 9:30pm and it's dark outside, I'll be taking him over my mom's before church (I ain't ready for that yet) so we'll see what adventures his visit will bring. I am working on being a better auntie. I've taken him places before and he's been over my house, just never slept here. I don't have any children yet so we'll see what this does to my perception of what it's like. Yeah, yeah, I know it's only overnight but this is a first for me. He's not potty-trained and he's quite rambunctious. I don't usually cut the TV on and it's usually pin-drop quiet in here. I have a few toys in the closet and if all else fails i've got crayons and notebooks with notes from Antioch and Sinclair. I want children, I really do. I'm not sure what God has in mind for me, i'm approaching 30 and my clock is ticking. If I don't have children naturally, i've been considering adopting, although there's a lot to ponder about that. I want a child that looks like me and that was made in love with someone special, someone who gives me their last name. Perhaps i'm taking this a bit far but hey, i'm just thinking and blogging, blogging and thinking. This is my train of thought, raw and un-edited. Don't take me to seriously. Well perhaps I should go, make sure all knives are away and make sure there's no dangerous chemicals easily accessible. So until next time. (Perhaps i'll have a story to tell)

Booty

Ok so, um...I don't really know what to say. This is uhhh, weird bruh...Kinda creepy. Don't go to prison, be on yo best behavior please...This is what they should show instead of scared straight.

What does it mean to be passive aggressive?

My name as far as this blog is concerned I am the queen of a land called passiveaggressiva...Hence my name underneath all of my posts and as the mediator of all things fly...I will say however that I never had a complete understanding of what it really means to be "PA". So as a student of pop culture and all things current I googled it to make sure I should preside over such a land. my findings were interesting, I fit the profile (kinda but not so much) it was more like a diagnosis, and honestly it's kinda sad. So I figured i'd share the wealth of knowledge, ahem: (there will be a part II to this)

The DSM IV describes this personality type as having passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational settings (DSM IV p. 733). It has also been referred to as a negativistic type of personality that involves more than just a passive resistance to demands. Included in the behaviors are fault-finding, moodiness, vascillating behavior, temper outbursts, sulkiness, with alternation between hostile assertion of self-autonomy, to dependent repentance or contrition.

Passive aggressive types are characterized by their ambivalence about themselves and others. They have difficulty making decisions, are uncomfortable with having to make them, and often leave their decisions to fate or chance, rather than having to accept the finality of a decision.

In addition to their ambivalence, they also exhibit a self-centeredness in that they need to have as many options open as possible, in order to not feel restricted or controlled, no matter what effect this has on others. If ever pinned down to making a decision, in a romantic relationship for example, they may vaguely state what they believe their partner wants to hear, only to take it back gradually, in their actions. If they are confronted about this behavior, they may exhibit anger and act as if they have been attacked and victimized, rather than own up to their ambivalence. Their goal is to postpone decisions, with the hopes that something will happen to decide for them. However, if the decision is made for them, they often backtrack to try to undo the finality of that decision.

According to some theorists (Pretzer & Beck, 1996), persons with this personality view themselves as being self-sufficient but feel vulnerable to control and interferance from others. They believe they are misunderstood by others, a view that is exacerbated by the negative responses they receive from others for their vascillations.

A primary conflict for passive aggressive types, is dependency. They fear the power of those on whom they are dependent, even if those they depend on never exert power or are not aware of the conflict. Rather than work on their own problems with this dependency, they vascillate between submissiveness and deliberate rebelliousness. Their relationships suffer because partners, friends, and/or family members cannot decipher or understand their evasiveness as attempts at independence. Often the passive aggressive person is not entirely conscious of his/her behavior.

Sometimes the passive aggressive person (PA for brevity) is acting against internal pressure rather than real expectations from others. The PA imagines everyone in his/her life to be making unreasonable demands. Often the PA is correctly perceiving that significant others have expectations of them, which triggers the dependency vs self-sufficient conflict, to which they act out accordingly. With so much internal conflict and energy spent on battling with the feelings that are generated (feelings of imprisonment real or imagined, feelings of limitations from making decisions, feelings of entitlement, etc.), there is little energy left to look at the self.

The underlying conficts typically are rooted in childhood, where one or both parents did not allow the child to win any battles of self-assertion or power. The child only had the option of asserting him/herself via passive, hidden tactics. Since children "know" on some level, that they are dependent on their parents, openly asserting themselves when their parents have worked against this, would not be an option.

On a preconscious level the child, who is too intellectually immature to question his/her parents, would pick up on behavioral ques, even if the communication from the parents was not overt. The impressions or conditioning the child would receive regarding assertion, aggression, individuation, would mold the child into picking other options for self-assertion. Since all living beings need to assert themselves, inhibiting that to a great extent assures alternate routes of expression to be found, whether they are adaptive or not. Displacement of this anxiety or conflict, onto present-day relationships of the adult PA, keeps the PA involved in the struggle with individuation, that could be resolved if the original conflict were addressed.

Being PA does not mean one is not as aggressive as openly aggressive types. It means that the aggression is hidden, not open, but still expressed. PAs can be even more aggressive while preserving their own belief in their passive nature. The aim of the behavior is to aggress while hiding and appearing passive.

Some theorists have considered that the PA may have been constitutionally more aggressive or sensitive as a baby. A parent might naturally try to curb aggressiveness in a toddler without considering future behavioral consequences.

Passive aggressive behavior has been confused with narcissistic behaivor since the PA behaviors can have a narcissistic self-serving quality. However, PA behaviors exist in different personality types and not exclusively in narcissistic types

I need a tip drill? Get over it already!

I should be a better blogger, really I should...I'm on the computer a lot, everyday in fact and I have so many things I want to talk about, so many things on my mind and I tend to look at my blog and then find something else to do.
Today I had a conversation with a friend about a video clip I saw yesterday of Nelly being intervied by a radio personality who mentions the dreaded "Tip Drill" video. I just kept thinking to myself, how many times and ways can people make Nelly pay for that video? Do I think it was mysogynistic? yes. Is he more responsible than other artists both black and white, BET videos, Paris Hilton, the modeling industry in whole? No. Do I think that all that he donates to charity should be overshadowed by something that was recorded years ago? No. I just think that the media likes to harpoon black celebs on their downfalls and in turn exploits them at their worst moments and will not let them move beyond controversy. Well just in case you'd like to know what i'm talking bout...This chick is killin' me...

A virgin at the auction

So yesterday I decided to go to my first auction. And as always there is a story. So my co-worker and I decide to go to a luxury home auction also the contents of a cleaning business. There were no minimums required. So when we arrive, I notice that luxury was an understatement, the homes in the gated community started at about 700,000. I didn't even feel like I was in Dayton...The family was downsizing. They auctioned off everything from furniture to books to grills to pianos to an air hockey table and more...Upon arrival, I notice a small mob gathering around a table, there was mostly junk on it and the auctioneer started the prices at around $5 per box and eventually auctioned all the tiems on the table for around about $12.50. There was every business book and manual known to man, childrens movies, and pots and pans. Now I just wanted to see what it was like so I only had $10 at the time. I really wanted some of that stuff, but here's the interesting part of the day.
Some of the people hoarded their wares off to the side after they won their bids. Afterwards people were willing to sell some of their items. So a co-worker and I looked over at a bucket of umbrellas, really really good expensive umbrellas, that she told me were auctioned off at about $25 for the entire bucket. So this white guy, nicely dressed, a businessman obviously, came peering over asking if we were interested in anything from his pile, and so we looked. Some things interesting, some not. But I say a really fancy umbrella, and I offered him $5 for it, after all he'd gotten a bucket of about 12 high quality umbrellas for %25, he looked at me absurdly almost insulted, he said "Do you know these retail for over $35 each?" I replied, "but you bought these used for the price of one" so he asked me to go higher, and I said forget it. So I see a stock pot, i've been needing on of these lately, and I offered him a dollar then 2, to get the same type of look and he said $5 and I said ok. My co-worker an auction guru, kept fanning and waving for me not to buy it but I did, she later told me that at estate auctions you can get better pots, whole boxes of them for like $1. So i'm dumbfounded, wanting my money back after all I only had $10. So I attempt to get my money back and this guy looked and me very sternly and abrubtly saying "but you already bought it, thank you though".
I decided I was done. I had to re-think going into business. I'll explore more later. My break is over.
To be continued....

Today is...

Ok so it's here...My b-day
I've been here 28 years still trying to figure out what to do next.
It's not a big deal anymore I guess...
I'm having an all out paaaaaarrrrttttaaay on my 30th birthday though!!!

This always makes me smile...

I remember when this first aired. I had to be Rudy's age. This is a classic, i'mma make my kids watch this.

Refreshing music (pt II)

Ok so here's the song of the month. Last month I posted something on Karina Pasian, this time it's Jazmine Sullivan, this song almost brought tears to my eyes. It wasn't really the song, more her voice. It's soulful and fresh, people compare her to Lauryn Hill but she has a sound all her own and the song is good, the video is nice, be on the lookout. Can't wait till the CD comes out. Check out the video, I promise you won't be disappointed!


Now, this is a throwback, she was on Apollo at the age of 11. Her voice was rich then, where'd she get all that soul, I got the chills about 5 times while she was singing "Accept what God Allows"

I know 'yall remember Showbiz

Before Chuck E Cheese...We'll they're back at it. This is so damn funny!

This week, better, much better...

So i'm in a better mood. I think I should probably delete the last post, one might mistakenly slip some Zoloft in my tea if I continue on that way. So it's been an interesting week, from Ol' Jesse poisoning the proverbal well of our first beakon of light in years, Obama to The Williams sisters (Venus nem')not getting much press after their victories at Wimbledon to the rumors that E badu is pregnant with Jay Electronica's baby (yes yes ya'll that would make three rapper babydaddies) I could go on and on...I've been visiting my fave blogs recently and have been thoroughly entertained this week. My favorite is www.crunktastical.net Fresh is the best hands down. Then I make my rounds to Bossip, and then I go to another excellent blog, www.pioneerwoman.com, and of course CNN.com which isnt' a blog at all but that's how I get my daily dose of news, I'd never on purpose watch Fox news. I read that they often make a mockery of Obama's blackness and appealing to the fears and stereotypes of many people pertaining to race and religion. First there was the Obama/Osama slip-up then there was the "Michelle, Obama's baby mama" and then calling fist bump something related to being a terrorist tactic. smh @ them. They sould be so 'shamed.
Anywho, I reckon I should go (reckon is a new/old word i've been using lately) and do some work, but have a wonderful weekend. I'm sure i'll be blogging again soon. I'm back at it yall!!!

The Fourth

I woke up this morning in a contemplative mood. A tad bitter.
Lately I have been moody, riding my usual wave of emotions. So, yesterday was the Fourth of July, the day irritated me a bit. I was reluctant to get dressed and go over my mom's to help her barbeque. I just wasn't feeling the whole thing. Let me explain, a lot of holidays become so consumer driven that the meaning is lost and then all it becomes about is spending money to commemorate the day. I bet Jehovah's Witnesses have money to save since they don't spend money on holidays. For the Fourth of July, there's the food for the cookout, there's the buying of the fireworks, the red white and blue clothing or your "outfit for the fourth", hair and nails for the ladies, the festive decor and whatever else your traditions are related to Independence Day. Not only that, I have been hearing m80's explode for a week now, and for some reason, many kids tend to save a stash of fireworks for the week following the fourth. Last night there was a deep fog that engulfed the city, that combined with a zillion people about there lighting their pirotechnics and the big shows the city plans every year, my night felt surreal and extra smokey. Since people like to get drunk on the Fourth, there were checkpoints everywhere, and although I am legit, I had to try to find an alternate route because I have an unpaid surveillance speeding ticket that remains unpaid. I needed gas desperately, but all the gas stations were occupied by people stuntin' in their fourth of july outfits and D-boys with their over the top big wheels (profile cars), panhandlers, and women parading around in stillettos and short skirts. All I want is gas, and for whatever reason every gas station I pass on the West Side resembles a club parking lot. I cannot. So then, out of options, I pull up at "Club Shell" and wait at the pump for this $4.09 gas that seems to be going out of style...I finally arive home a few minutes later exhausted and perhaps a bit lonley. Maybe this holiday is a drab for me because last year the night of the Fourth was when my ex and I broke up. Maybe i'm taking it a bit far, but it didn't use to be this way. Maybe i'm hormonal, i'll stop while i'm ahead.

...and in with the new

'Nuff said...

Is this really the highest ranking official?

Well, he's on his way out!!! I know it sounds cheesy but "Yes we can"!!!!

Kiddie Prom?

I know it's been awhile and my blog has morphed into something kinda like a pop-culture blog, buy I just haven't had the time to post the kind of material that I once did. But I will soon, until then, I just wanted to post yet another example of for lack of a nicer term, "tom foolery". Who even makes weave, heels, and prom dresses in this size??? Here's a bit of advice, don't be sending your barely potty trained kids to prom it makes us look bad.

Everyone Nose

I have to admit, I am a Pharrell stan, better yet let me be honest, I heart N.E.R.D.
What's funny is that I have a huge music collection and i've never bought a Pharrell album nor a NERD album. I think Pharrell and chad Hugo Kill it everytime they lay a beat. There's something futuristic about it, and the horns, synthesizers, and heavy drum beats create what I like to call "eargasms". I even like their artists, everyone from The Cool Kids to Teyana Taylor. It makes me wanna be a part of this newer generation of kids who wear brightly colored clothes and skateboard. Pharrell's a producer that can rap, that is to be applauded because I heard a rap by Puffy that was far less than stellar, it made me sad in fact. So the reason i'm posting all this is because I just recently heard "Everyone Nose", not to mention the kickass remix, and I can't help but to jig to it. I even had to reason with mysely as to if I could really jig to a song about women using Cocaine in the bathroom at the club (everyone knows). I don't care, it's funky anyway. Btw just in case you wanna know, Chad Hugo could get it. In short, i've gotta buy this new album. I may even go back and get the throwbacks.

Frontin

When you front, this is what you look like. -Absurd

Breath of fresh air...

So i've been wanting to find some good music, and i've been checking the blogs and random playlists for something that makes me move. This song by Karina Pasian moved me but in a different way, I have hope for the next generation, however corny that sounds, but it was really refreshing to hear a youg woman sing a song like this and make it sound good too...It's called "Sixteen at War"

Not from the Ace! These are amazing....

CAKES!!! How did they make icing and fondant do that? on the last cake there even appears to be outdoor neon tubing on the cake...These cakes are by Zhanna, believe it or not there's even more amazing cakes...

Bad Luck BBQ

So I told myself I would blog about my latest adventure, good ol' fashioned barbeque. So I decided that since the weather has been wonderful lately, then I should do something outdoors, something american, something not too labor intensive, something new. Now, i'm starting to learn to cook but grilling is a new arena for me. I excitedly hurried to the nearest Family Dollar to buy my wares. I bought the traditional tools, charcoal, lighter fluid, a spray bottle, and aluminum foil. I had everything planned out, i'd boil the chicken first in a special brine, and then i'd grill some pre-tenderized steak, then make some mac n' cheese and those new "grillin beans". Before I stray too far, the I must tell you that my grill isn't some huge to do, it is a very modest, small, and janky grill I bought from Wal-mart for a frugal $19 and the time it was a pretty big deal. It had been on my cousin's back porch for must about all fall and winter, so I expected a bit of wear and tear but this thing once shiny red was now a dull, faded pink and the charcoal that was still in the pit was stuck. Now I don't mind domestic work but I'm not a get down and dirty kinda gal, so I look for the closest set of gloves. The gloves were actually the yellow dishwashing gloves, a little ghetto I know. I dumped the ash but only half fell, so I had to dig the remains out the bottom with my glove protected hands. I'm trying my hardest to make this a short story but that's not how this is working out so please bear with me. One thing I forgot was a grill brush, and I wasn't cleaning this grill in my house. So I decided to take the lazy way out and line the top rack with aluminum foil, um wrong answer and i'll tell you why in a few. Next I light the coals, it is very likely that I over-did the lighter fluid thing. It is likely that I did something wrong with the fire, I could tell that something wouldn't be done in the middle (thank goodness I boled the chicken first)So finally, I placed the meat on the grill and closed the lid. I waited a few minutes and realized that I didn't poke holes in the foil so then I did. Well did I mention that I went shopping at Family Dollar, and while they do have name brands, I opted for the generic .69 kind, it was of the cheap persuasion so what was supposed to be small poke holes, turned into savagely huge tear marks. So if you're keeping up, the coals aren't hot, the holes are too big in the foil and my meat isn't really cooking so I decided to re-light the fire. Now the trick was to do it without any fatalities. Hmmm, this would prove harder than it sounds. I'll spare you the details but needless to say I made it. After a few sprays, by brand new spray bottle died. Frustrated, I took the meat off the grill, and made a back up dinner, skyline chili spaghetti. So in short, I won't be grilling again any time soon it sucks, maybe I just suck. It's over, i'm done, I'm officially a bake boil or fry kind of girl. Please, don't laugh at the pics. btw, the meat turned out really flavorful but my grandma said her chicken wasn't done and that eating blood of an animal works against her body so she couldn't partake. Hmm, my piece seemed fine but that sorry excuse for a steak was pretty bad, it was pretenderized but managed to be tough, ford tough. Uh, if you barbeque, can I come over? I ain't got it!

Urban

I've got a lot of favorite artists. Thomas Green, Kadir Nelson, Paul Goodnight, but now adding to that collection of non abstract contemprary artists is David M. Lenz, this is from his "Urban" series. It takes an extrodinary talent to be able to paint such works of art. At first glance, this looks like a photograph, well at second and third glance too...Check him out, www.davidmlenz.com

The End is Near

For the fellas...

How about a these cufflinks...At first glance, boring...then you notice these aren't just any cufflinks, they're actually USB's, now that's combining fashion with function.

In the future...

I hope we're not concerned with who has the flyest Gas Mask. Designer Diddo Velema produced some high fashion gas masks. It's almost laughable, kinda like when I saw designer SARS masks in China, bafoonery I say...I'm gon' get me a designer water tank in the last days...One day you might walk into the hospital and see the nurses walking around in Prada scrubs with Karl Lagerfield goggles and Jimmy Choo croc's. Perhaps i'm taking it a bit far but I never thought i'd see the day when I saw a car with a Gucci logo'd interior, one with a Louis Vuitton logo on the door and all this crazy stuff that people do to help themselves look like idiots. What did Kweli say? "...Like slaves on a ship talkin' bout' who got the flyest chains". On my way to work I stumbled across the Russ Parr show and they were talking about African Americans, and the question of the day was "Are you afraid to look poor?" The went on to read the statistics on consumer spending of African Americans and it says that we spend far more on Cars, Clothes, Electronics and Jewelry than education, investments, books, and savings. It's sad but true. I hate to make this a black issue, but I have to pull from my only point of reference. People were on air denying it, while others chose to keep it real, but most people I know buy Coach purses even if it's fake, the same with sunglasses, if it says D&G people will buy it because it's all about perception. we want to look like we have something. I work in a welfare office where the recipients often look better than me. And Even though I think it's sad, I can admit that I have a spending problem, last year I pulled off the lot in a new SUV, but can barely afford to keep it on half a tank, I mean the thing only gets 17 MPG and it takes close to $100 to fill it up with the most recent spike in gas prices. I say all this to say, we've got to do better.

Small Space BIG Style

this is amazing, now in addition to being a foodie, i'm a teckie, and whatever you call someone who's into art and design, an artie maybe? I wish I had loftier goals, but hey...this is a sofa that transforms into bunk beds...When I get a degree, and move, and buy a new place, it's gonna be modern. I think this is so cool.
You can check out the article at www.notcot.org

Come on Solange...

I couldn't resist...
Are you feeling this look?

This is for you Jahzie...

So according to my best friend Lauryn Hill is the undisputed queen of all queens, so it's fun to bring funny thing to her attention like this... It's a re-make of Ex factor, with Syleena Johnson and RayJ which almost sounds as good as the original, that is...until RayJ starts rapping...Eat your heart out L-Boogie, what do you think?
Follow the link to Soulbounce, I don't know how to upload the player onto this page, as you can from the last post i'm not too great at this...
Copy this url into your browser:
http://www.soulbounce.com/soul/2008/04/syleena-johnson-does-lauryn-hill-again.php

Just in case you have any problems getting there it's on www.soulbounce.com

Gives me Chills...

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This song takes me back to my "deep" days...This song makes me want something more...It makes me anxious, it makes me wanna go to a place where I can be in love, and can be me perfectly, a place where I have thing to do like go to musuems, paint, have dinner parties with friends, have a home studio, travel often, drive to NY to hang out, go to live concerts, write books, sip on double shots expresso while writing a poem on my macbook at a trendy Starbucks or Borders. This song makes me wanna live big and I don't know what does it for me, it could be Jill's voice, or the lovey dovey words...I don't know but since i'm not in the place that I wanna be right now, i'll just settle for watching this video with my eyes closed smiling imagining myself there snapping at the end of her performance...riding the night wind, taking photographs after the show, happy...

Super Sweet 16

As promised, these are the pics from the twin's big day, their 16th birthday. They had great fun with friends and fam. It was a day full of BBQ, tennis, bubbles, kids, dancing, and laughter. Hannah Montana the super mogul is the flippin Bill Gates of the Tween market I tell ya, she dominates the field. The twins had a HM dog tag, purse, cake and bracelets. When they go to sleep, the will sleep in their HM gowns and in the morning they will watch their HM "Make a Wish" DVD...crazy right? Well i've got things to do, until next time...

Happy Birthday Spring...Can't stand lame dudes...

So i'm back at home on the internet...I'm pretty excited about that, so I decided to make a post. It's not about anything drastically important or life altering. Just a reg'lar old post about things like today being the twins' birthday, the great spring weather, the fact that I should be going to church today...The twins turn sixteen, i'm getting old...They will be graduating High School soon, for their birthday I bought a outdoor game set, I think they'll like it. It's a beautiful day, mom's BBQ'ng. Yesterday was nice but today will be better, the sun's already shining. I'm happiest on days when the sun appears to brighten my days. I have so much to be thankful for, which is why I should be at church, I had a long night last night, went to O'Charley's, the pool hall, midnight bowling, and to the waffle house. I didn't come strolling in the house until about 4:00am and then decided to edit some pictures online for awhile before my sweet escape to sleep. Well anyway, i'll post pics of the twins' birthday later on...Oh and one more thing, my cousin's friend (with benefits) tried to set me up on a blind date with his cousin and I think it was the most strange hour that happened in awhile to me, I wanted to be somewhere else, or wish i could've somehow erased the fact that he was sitting next to me. The cousin's friend tells the guy to meet us at the Waffle House, my first impression was of him roughhousing one of his cousins, not in a play play kinda way either. Then he barely spoke, so things just went downhill from there, no formal introduction or anything. So when I sat down, he made some ridiculuous comment about me acting like I did't want to sit next to him, so he sat across from me. I was fine with that but I wasn't acting any particular way at the time. Even if I wasn't feeling the guy I would have still tried to be good company, come on'...So I say something or another to let him know he could join me in the booth, he obliges but reluctantly. His body language was horrible, he acted 15 but looked 4o, had no conversation, and spent most of the time asking me about my coffee. I understood that there was no chemistry, no attraction physical or otherwise early on, like when he got out of his banged up Surburban, but I didn't act like a 7th grader, after awhile, I gave up and started talking to my cousin, we acted as if each other weren't there. The date quickly turned int a casual outing with me and my cousin talking exclusively to each other and them doing the same. The only thing that irked me was that we couldn't have had conversation for each other even if there was no physical attraction, it almost seemed as if he really wanted me to know he wasn't feeling me. This guy didn't have a job, wore some dusty Fila's, had yellow teeth, wasn't attractive in the slightest, had black smokers lips, must have been 40 and is still going to the club, had naked pics of various women on his pic phone, had no intellect, is a dime bag pusher, and is socially defunct. Now tell me why I shouldn't have sat in the car the whole time refusing to participate in this bafoonery? Geez! i've got to move from this town...

A little salty this morn...

It has come. June will be the 10 year mark. Ten years since I walked across a hot, humid, and overpacked gymnasium full of onlookers and supporters to accept my High School Diploma. Our orators were full of hope and advice, by the time I left, I was convinced the world was mine. Perhaps it was, but now...hmm...I have a new perspective, a tad more realistic if you will...I didn't really think much about what I would be doing, but I definitely anticipated having a degree by now, having a husband and established in my career. I'm indecisive, why did I think that? The inability to be single minded may be perhaps my huberis. I don't know, all this is a bit overwhelming for a Tuesday morning, I should probably be working. Yeah, that's what I think i'll do because I need to reframe and perhaps i'll feel better about this whole thing.

LOVIN IT!

So i'm also trying to get tickets to the Mary J Blige/Jay Z concert... Looking forward to summer! Shouts out to Questo for the hot pics and editing techniques, besides being a drummer for one of the illest bands (no pun intended) he is a great photog too... Ain't it hot!!!

Touch the sky

As a self-professed "Photo-fiend" I have got to say this pic made me smile...Touch the sky baby!I love Kanye and frequent his blog but today I was at one of my other faves Okayplayer and gingerlynn took these photos at the JayZ Vegas show in 07'. I'm saving up to buy a digital SLR but i've not been able to get up the revenue to get the one I want. You can donate to the fund if you'd like. I'll post some of my pics soon.

Hilbama

Just a lil' Thursday Humor...But seriously, one of them needs to hurry up and reach the delegate benchmark, because I'm almost getting tired of the debates and justifications, arguing, in-fighting and random ridiculousness.

30 seconds...An eye trick

Ok so I thought this was so cool. First of all that someone could create something that appears to be a negative on a metal surface. But what's even better is that if you stare at her nose for 30 seconds and then close your eyes this picture will be inverted and you'll see the real colors.

Time

I keep fretting about being successful and doing things with my life, things that almost thirty year olds tend to do I guess. Recently i've discovered a new aging me. One that doesn't know how to do more than one current dance (wouldn't look right doing them either btw), who doesn't wear gym shoes and no longer thinks going to the club is cool, that can't drink milk with a good conscience, is discovering smile lines, not to mention i've recieved the invitation to my 10 year class reunion. Guess I should be depressed but I've changed perspectives. I'm approaching my prime I guess. If you look at the clock (pictured and explained below) i'm almost at the halfway point if I should be so lucky to make it past 60 years. I'm now thinking about retirement plans, nest eggs, a family, Legacy, contribution, heaven and hell, dying and most importantly I have recently rediscovered living. I'd like to live well. Anywho, more about the clock read below.

This is "The Life Clock" a clock mechanism slowed down 61320 times (each number represents years) would you get one? As Erykah badu sings, Time a wastin'...

Vote 08

and my last blog for the day says it all....

Now i've got to get back to work!

Vote

I Love You Katt

Ok I'm on a roll now...I just wanted to show Katt williams a lil love, not this mouch tho...

We've got to do better....

Ok so I just wanted to post my version of the Hot Mess of the Day...
Jolly ranchers tho?

I know what you're thinking

This lil girl captures my sentiments exactly...I live in Ohio, but I didn't do it...Sorry Barack!

Obamarama

So today...I'm still sick, it sucks. I don't know what's worse coughing up phlegm or having warm flesh, or the faucet nose or the tightness in my chest that makes it feel concave. I'm so over this flu season, I may even get the flu shot next year ( say that every year and never do). I've been following this presidential bid pretty closely and the more I want to support Obama, I realize that he's still a polititian nonetheless. I still get irritated about politics and how things are over-promised and under-delivered, how orchestrated this all is. But it's a game I must play and I will choose a candidate who seems to sell me what i'm trying to buy. One of my favorite blogs (to the right, the cyincal ones) did a post about going to an Obama rally, it was pretty funny in a sad way, you should check it out.

my annual "Valentines Day" rant (but only when i'm single)

So the word of the day is "Love".
Blood red and mylanta pink are the colors of the month in lieu of this pagan holiday of St Valentine that'll be coming to take our pocket money soon. Valentines day, hmm...I try not to think about it too much but everytime I walk into Walgreens or CVS, i'm bombarded by a fusillade of fake roses, cheap candy, heart shapes, balloons, teddy bears and oversized cards. I try not to be too cynical about it but give me a break. Perhaps i'm a bit on the wrong side because i'm single but i've never been much into it. Well...there's this one year that I made my boyfriend a basket full of indulgences for the bad habits which I despised, it had beer, black and milds, incense and chocolates. He wasn't a teddy bear kinda guy. I felt inclined to give him what he liked.
Speaking of love and relationships, I recieved a forward today that had a few quotes from Oprah, I think i'll keep some of this in mind when I put myself back on the market. Any thoughts? i'll be blogging about some of this later.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think "it will get better"
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted

Money never solves a money problem...

Like me, you’ve probably grown tired of seeing a picture of peanut butter oatmeal, so I reckon I should begin a new post. I mostly blog when I’m feeling something. Today I’m not feeling anything extreme, but I am happy that today is Friday. Income tax season is here, this is a time I’ve been waiting on for at least 10 months, yay! A couple of months ago, I read an article on Yahoo from the Associated Press that claimed that tax season could be delayed because of some pending legislation. I think I had an anxiety attack, that was horrible, how could I wait? I needed to pay my tuition so I could start school Winter Quarter, to pay bills and well of course splurge on some annual indulgences that I don’t really need but want nonetheless. So this is it…Christmas in February. And although I have my sights set on techie toys like a 56’ Plasma, GPS Navigational System, The new uber thin Mac laptop, and other sweet indulgences of the home couture persuasion. But hmm, lets see the factual issue in this matter is, that I need to pay the bills to live in the house and drive the car and need the degree to be able to afford the lifestyle that I’d like. By saying that, I mean this, I’ll be paying the bills and the tuition (God Willing).

Pop-culture oatmeal

At the workplace, there's a big ol' flatscreen tv facing my desk and the channel is always set to a news station. Today CNN, yesterday FOX News and so on...I watch and listen between arguing, handing out cards, saying please and thank you, organizing, inputting, problem solving, and other daily tasks, and it is kind of strange how the nation gets hooked on the headlines and how fast they change. A few days ago, the media storm was around the pregnant marine's death and the manhunt that followed, today it is Heath Ledger's death. It's like one story eclipses the other continually and it seems a bit strange to me, but that is the culture...I sometimes get entranced too. I will say this about news and the such, there are a few blogs that I frequent and some i'm just checking out for the first time, most of them entertainment blogs and they can be a bit over the top and evil at times. It's one thing to poke fun at pop culture but Perez Hilton's blog made light of a British singer having a miscarrage and another of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter's crossed eyes. I do think these bloggers are starting to become quite sociopathic in their quest to get a little recognition, I mean poking fun and saying Heath Ledger died of smoking rocks and drawing crack rocks on the pic of him at the time of a young man's death is a tad absurd. But what can I say, that's the world we live in and people will be as they are.
Next thing, i'd like to make a confession...I am a foodie.
google it of you don't know what it is. So today I decided to post a recipe since that is my new obsession. I can't eat the way i'd like, you still at the gym and losing weight but I like to cook and find new recipes etc...Sounds a bit counter-revolutionary eh? Well hmm what can I say?
This recipe choice is inspire by my lunch for today, oatmeal. Enjoy!

Banana and Peanut Butter Oatmeal
This was my favorite one so far. The peanut butter and mashed bananas made this oatmeal was nice and creamy. The peanuts on top added a nice contrast in texture.
Ingredients:1/2 banana (mashed)
1/2 banana sliced
1 tablespoon peanut butter
1/2 tablespoon brown sugar (optional depending on how sweet the banana is)
1 serving oatmeal1 tablespoon peanuts for garnish

(Well since i'm at work you can't see the wonderful pic)

Sowing seeds...

It's kinda funny, in a sad kinda way that my blog is kinda sappy, perhaps it should be called e-motions instead of e-griot. I'm really not that sad a person, actually I smile a lot and have a fun quirky side, you should see for yourself. Anywho, last night at the gym, one of my friends we call "Pastor Rick" came up to me and a friend, saying that we needn't stay away from the gym as long as we did, we needed to keep health at the forefront of our lives with the other things that are important. Just as soon as my friend fixed her lips to start giving excuses as to why she had been absent, he told us about moving while you're going through, in other words not letting your entire life revolve around your woes. He also gave us a word about sowing into the areas in life one is most desperate in. He said that he gave away his last $40 when he needed money, when he feels lonely he calls someone else to let them know they were on his mind, when his wife wrecked his car, he got hers fixed> I know this seems like the opposite of what you should do, those things actually gave way to the things he'd lacked. He now has abundance in wealth, people in his life, and has a new car etc...Well I've got to go but i'll leave you with my thought for the day.

"When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. (1 John 2:19) People leave you because they are not joined to you and if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay." -TD Jakes

New Years (re-visited)

So were into the hmm…second week of the New Year and my life hasn’t changed as drastically as intended. I have a bulleted register of about 15 resolutions for 2008, and now with about 13 of them broken already, all I have to do now is figure out what to do now. See the illusion is that the new year is a new beginning, and it can be but it can also be September 3rd or March 29th. And I’m starting to see now that change is usually ignited not planned the week before it happens. Change for me is ignited by some triumph or disaster into a flaming ball of “must-do, can-do, will-do”. I’ve waited all year to change my life, I’ve waited till the top of the week to start my new diet, new budget or whatever else was going wrong at the time. Last year, the spark that ignited the flame came on the fourth of July ironically, independence day. Towards the latter part of the year, I lost momentum, and my progress declined and then came to a sudden halt. Yesterday I thought myself into oblivion about change…It’s like I think but don’t do because I’m slightly afraid of the vice. An important person once said, “if you’re gonna bring about change do it and be done with it”…Perhaps I should take his advice because after seeing the movie “The Great Debaters” I gawked at the thought of being mediocre. I hate the thought that I could be behind a computer for the rest of my working life and I refuse accept living a mundane life, a life of struggling for paycheck to paycheck, crisis to crisis, a life accepting defeat. I’m sorry, No Sir Ree Bobby…I grew up in subsidized housing, in generational poverty, being immoral, having low self-esteem but that to me is a place where I will never accept being again. So while now I’m far away from that not so distant past, I use that one thing that works to my advantage to stay far away from that island of woe, and that advantage is persistence. Today I’m going to gym, tomorrow, bible study and so the story goes, it is my will to live, live well indeed

Auntie paparrazi hurts her "kne-ego"

I skinned my knee today. I know you're thinking, "why is that something to blog about?" Well, besides the fact that it bruised my ego, I can't stop thinking about it. So earlier today, my friend called me in crisis mode. I didn't really have any advice, besides I don't think she was looking for any. I've been there before, just wanting a human to be there to listen and give a lil' feedback so I know that I haven't gone completely insane. A lot of my relationships with friends has to do with listening, no pity parties, just listening. So we have a lil' food therapy and then proceed over my grandma's. When I arrived, I was greeted with excitement by my rambunctious nephew. We bonded a bit I think, when I began to ask him the typical questions you ask a 2 year old, he responded by saying, "what are you talking about?" I wasn't quite ready for that. He knows that i'm the paparazzi, so he said "take a picture" which sounded like cake-a-picher. Now that's my kinda party, one where I get to take pictures. So I galloped off the bed to get my cameras out of my car, and since I had energy, I decided to sprint back to the house. There are four steep and broken steps to get to my grandma's modest home. So I step, "one, two, three" and on the fourth step, I fell on both knees. I peered over both shoulders to see if there were any wintesses, I listened for chuckles and I bowed my head in disgrace. No one saw my folly but I was embarrassed somehow. My keys slid across the porch and onto the driveway, so I had to face the stairs once again. This time, I would do it slowly and more carefully, never looking up, not even for a second. I made it the second time unscathed. I took a deep breath and slowly proceeded in the house to take pictures of my nephew. No one noticed my slight limp, the pain throbbed and I eventually told my sister and friend of the fall and I finally lifted my pants leg to see the injury, I knew there had to be some evidence left because it hurt too badly. My knee was red and slightly swollen, there was a strawberry the size of a quarter and white scrape marks where the skin had peeled from the fall. My knee still hurts a lil, but i'm a big girl, I just wanted to give you the heads up friends, watch your step.

btw here are a few of my fave shots of the day...The third one is hilarious, ladies and gentlemen, I have arrived...

Young Paris

i think i'm on the verge of a decline. last week i stood atop the peak, today the valley. it's all about trying to bridge the gap between good said and good done. it's all about will. i'm emotional, nothing new, sometimes a trainwreck, at times there is a calm. tonight fried chicken tomorrow bones, tonight lazy slumber, tomorrow anxiety and unrest. patterns in and out weaving throughout me, i would like to disrupt the pattern somehow but the problem is the difference between good said and good done. it's been 4 months and i'm still thinking about him waking and sleeping, writing poems, and spending time bitter, angry. i've been sitting on the couch for the last 3 hours staring at the computer screen listening to drowning jazz. i can deal with boney james, sweet thing but not seduction. but it's something bout' miles and coltrane that make me crazy, equinox and ooh, in a sentimental mood get the tears stirring. a damn mess i tell you.currently my house is dirty and the internal me is just as bad as the dishes. i hate sulking and that's what i think i'm doing, but it's honest. i declare today that this feeling be temporary. i've found something to fight about and all i can do is guard my face. young paris fighting, burning the city in protest, perhaps there is something to learn.

*humming* dooodah.....dooodah