Thursday, October 16, 2008

Choices

I've always been a fan of Nikki Giovanni. She has a simple yet profound way of writing. Profound is generous, but she has this uncanny ability to capture the whole of black womanhood in her work. I find myself in her words and that is something no writer has done for me. Giovanni's work is personal and I hold some of them near and dear to me. Two of the poems that belong in my personal restrospective narrative are "Introspection" and "Choices".

CHOICES

If i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do

It's not the same thing
but it's the best i can
do


If i can't have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want


Since i can't go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn't lateral


When i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal


I know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry


-Nikki Giovanni

Friday, October 10, 2008

A better auntie

I love my nephew. I've gotta admit, I haven't been the best auntie...But this weekend, I missed him, I wanted to go pick him up and keep him for awhile. Going to get him would have made my sister happy because I don't take him places often. I want her to understand it has nothing to do with my nephew personally but not having children or a husband makes me a little selfish with my time and space. I'm alone most of the time, so much so that I have finally assimilated and grown comfortable living inside myself if that makes any sense. I'm on the go a lot, and I rarely stay at home, so getting my nephew means being at home or finding activities, the whole idea intimidates me a bit but I think i'm finally over it. I want for him to visit as much as possible, he's my only nephew and I Love him. I know this post makes me sound like a jerk but i'm new at this, so cut me a little slack, i'm getting better.

Monday, October 06, 2008

All Mavericky


I Love Tina Fey!!!!!!

Friday, October 03, 2008

Arch in his back

Ok so as much as I hate to put Tom Foolery on my page, I just had to...I'm speechless, uh. Yeah. If you can't stomach extreme gayness then don't even do it. Just skip on to the next post.

My debate quickie


On to the next debate...Biden did a good job representing his running mate. Palin did what I expected her to do, that is avoid answering questions, use populist messages and themes, call herself a Maverick (over and over), use her gender and having so many children as a tool to woo the Clinton supporters, mispronounce words (like nuclear), mistate the facts, don a cynical smirk, wink and nod etc...I just kept expecting her to say "daunt chaaa knaw". She has this glossy eyed, overly simplistic, naive, childishly competetive nature that is quite annoying. Biden conducted himself like a true politician should, being direct, knowing the issues, stating what he knows, standing up to the obviously bulleted list of comebacks that Palin tried to throw at him. I guarantee he didn't go to debate boot camp. I'm just saying...It was a good debate, but i'm looking forward to hear Obama at the next debate, after all, I'm voting the top of the ticket. Obama shake em' off.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

blackwoman

will define herself. naturally. will
talk/walk/live/&love her images. her
beauty will be. the only way to be is
to be. blackman take her. u don't need
music to move; yr/movement toward her
is music. & she'll do more than dance.
-Haki Madhubuti

Friday, September 05, 2008

Rich Republicans


The McCain's are ballin'. We all know about their seven properties, about Cindy's Anhauser Busch fortune and their other riches. But I think it was a rather bold move for Cindy to walk into the RNC bling blingin' looking like something fresh off of a Vogue mag. Her outfit was estimated to cost around $313,000. Here in Ohio, you could buy three decent sized houses for that.While the GOP spent all night trying to paint Barack Obama as an elitist, Cindy McCain's outfit cost more than the combined income of Michelle and Barack Obama in 2004. In fact it would take 10 years of saving for the average American to afford her outfit. Look, here's my issue...I work in the welfare office so I see the America that has been directly affected by government overspending, job loss, foreclosures etc... I have to look into the eyes of people who have worked their whole lives and are now applying for public assistance with tears welling in their shameful eyes. Our number of intakes have almost tripled in recent months and people are angry, tired, struggling, underemployed, and wanting more than anything to work. People who have taken pay cuts from $25 hr to $9 per hour and have families, or raising children alone. So when I look into the audience of the RNC and see all the cowboy hat wearing, NRA card carrying, out of touch WASPs in the audience, I don't see me. I don't see the people I have to serve everyday as a civil servant. I see people wanting to protect their money, control of the better schools, to keep the gap between the upper and middle class wide. I see right wing conservatives that don't understand the culture of poverty and the changing face of America, the failures of our American school system, the depletion of federal resources, and the loss of a sense of community. This does not work for me, not because I want to vote for a Black man (if so I would've voted for Sharpton), not because I'm black and i'm supposed to vote democrat, not even because I work so closely with the poor and disenfranchised but because I understand the issues and I am hearing a call for change that needs to be answered, that can't be answered by someone who wants to serve as a continuation of all the policies of the current administration. And although i'm a woman, I can't identify with a gun toting, moose hunting, corrupt, sacrilegious, hypocritical, self-proclaimed pit-bull with lipstick from Alaska. I don't expect for the earth to move and the world to change when and if Barack wins the presidency but I do believe that he will not tread on the same path as Bush, and he will make some changes that will be the beginnning to help maintain our status as a world super-power.

Cindy McCain
Oscar de la Renta dress: $3,000
Chanel J12 White Ceramic Watch: $4,500
Three-carat diamond earrings: $280,000
Four-strand pearl necklace: $11,000–$25,000
Shoes, designer unknown: $600
Total: Between $299,100 and $313,100

Wow! No wonder McCain has so many houses: his wife has the price of a Scottsdale split-level hanging from her ears.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Check the facts! My last political rant! (maybe)

Ok so lets separate fact from fiction on the speeches at the RNC made by Palin and others.
I know this is long so please bear with me.
By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer
Wed Sep 3, 11:48 PM ET

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate

Church and State


Although I missed it, Palin's speech last night apparantly woo'd the likes of the media and accomplished her goal to fight back both aggressively and with cynicism. Since I haven't heard the speech, i'll probably you-tube it later. I see that the republicans are going at it hard this time around with shock factor and using any tactics necessary to win, but we'll see how that goes. That's politics as usual I guess. But what this media circus is doing is effectively taking the focus off McCain for right now to give him time to prepare for the next two months, he's letting Palin jab at Barack and saving his energy and focus for the debates. Oh, and speaking of Obama, he'll be on The O'Reilly factor today, so you'll have to choose between that and the last day of the RNC. I'll reserve my opinion about the racist and sexist shock jock that is Bill O'Reilly, but I just don't know that it was a smart idea for Barack to appear on such a show where the Host and audience will be all republican. Barack's a fighter and he's tough, so he'll be fine i'm sure, I can't wait to see it. So in closing i'll leave you with the latest on Palin, an article about her saying, things like, "the Iraq war is a Task from God". Now i'm a churchgoing kinda chick but i'll beg to differ...It was a task from Bush, and i'd appreciate it if she'd keep church and state separate., I like the end of the article when Rob Boston says "I miss the days when pastors delivered sermons and politicians delivered political speeches" Simple yet profound.

By GENE JOHNSON, Associated Press Writer
Wed Sep 3, 7:23 PM ET


ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told ministry students at her former church that the United States sent troops to fight in the Iraq war on a "task that is from God."

ADVERTISEMENT

In an address last June, the Republican vice presidential candidate also urged ministry students to pray for a plan to build a $30 billion natural gas pipeline in the state, calling it "God's will."

Palin asked the students to pray for the troops in Iraq, and noted that her eldest son, Track, was expected to be deployed there.

"Our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God," she said. "That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God's plan."

A video of the speech was posted at the Wasilla Assembly of God's Web site before finding its way on to other sites on the Internet.

Palin told graduating students of the church's School of Ministry, "What I need to do is strike a deal with you guys." As they preached the love of Jesus throughout Alaska, she said, she'd work to implement God's will from the governor's office, including creating jobs by building a pipeline to bring North Slope natural gas to North American markets.

"God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that," she said.

"I can do my job there in developing our natural resources and doing things like getting the roads paved and making sure our troopers have their cop cars and their uniforms and their guns, and making sure our public schools are funded," she added. "But really all of that stuff doesn't do any good if the people of Alaska's heart isn't right with God."

Palin attended the evangelical church from the time she was a teenager until 2002, the church said in a statement posted on its Web site. She has continued to attend special conferences and meetings there. Religious conservatives have welcomed her selection as John McCain's running mate.

Rob Boston, a spokesman for Americans United for Separation of Church and State, lamented Palin's comments.

"I miss the days when pastors delivered sermons and politicians delivered political speeches," he said. "The United States is increasingly diverse religiously. The job of a president is to unify all those different people and bring them together around policy goals, not to act as a kind of national pastor and bring people to God."

The section of the church's Web site where videos of past sermons were posted was shut down Wednesday, and a message was posted saying that the site "was never intended to handle the traffic it has received in the last few days."

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Random post


I just wanted to say that i wanna look like Beyonce when I grow up.

Monday, September 01, 2008

From 50 to a billion


Everytime I see 50 cent on the top of the richest black list (behind Oprah and a few others of course) I wanna hate. I get a lil salty because in my humble opinion, he is an asshole. But who am I to say? Most of my annoyance with him has to do with the arson allegations against him. I believe he had something to do with it and what's worse, his son was in the house when it was set ablaze. Besides all that he's rich. Most of the reason has to do with his deal with Vitamin Water/Coca Cola (when Coca Cola bought Glaceau for 4.1 billion), the 100 million dollar deal that is...Then the 150 million more he made this year. But to add insult to injury, he's prahlly gonna get richer and I don't know whether to hate on em' or congratulate him because he is making some major money moves. Check this out, according to a recent Forbes article:
Last May, 50 paid a visit to billionaire mining baron Patrice Motsepe in South Africa. Flanked by select members of their respective entourages, the unlikely duo descended into a subterranean trove of platinum, palladium and iridium, growing like moss on the earth's warm innards. A spectacular backdrop for a bling-drenched music video, to be sure.

But 50 was there for other business: to forge a joint venture with Motsepe that could soon bring him an equity stake in the mine--and 50 Cent-branded platinum to the world.

"Things that people wouldn't actually expect me to be involved in," 50 muses a few weeks later, reminiscing on his trip. "I've got a diverse portfolio."


Here, in the comfort of a midtown Manhattan office, just miles from the Queens, N.Y., streets where 50 once dealt cocaine, the glowering rapper whose lyrics are often punctuated with gunshots is nowhere to be found. In his place is Curtis Jackson, businessman. Less gangster, more Gordon Gekko, he ticks through the contents of his portfolio: stocks, bonds, real estate, investment pools, all carefully monitored by brokers at Goldman Sachs (nyse: GS - news - people ) and Morgan Stanley (nyse: MS - news - people ).

Over the past 12 months, 50 has added $150 million to his substantial coffers. He hawks clothing, sneakers, videogames, movies, ringtones and flavored water. His earnings were nearly twice as much as last year's hip-hop cash king, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, and over four times the sum garnered by Sean "Diddy" Combs, who ranked third for the second year in a row. After topping Forbes' inaugural Cash Kings list, the trio released a modified version of 50's "I Get Money" called "The Forbes 1-2-3 Remix."

My political rant for the day


So....Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Palin also has a newborn with Down Syndrome, she has five children altogether. She is a govenor of Alaska, where the population is less than most US cities. She has the thinnest experience in the history of anyone ever to run for VP. Palin is also a gun toting, card carrying member of the NRA. What makes her a good choice again? With all her family issues and a special-needs child why would she want to accept the position that would take her away from family at such a fragile time? I understand trying to get the Hillary vote but, if that is the only reason she was chosen, then she is a tool, a bad tool at that. Suppose something happens to McCain at 72 and having skin cancer (although in remission)then who is she to step into the White House to be the President? surely not a qualified, deserving candidate, it's almost a joke, a scary one at that. I hate to think that someone who is a democrat would cross party lines to vote because their candidate wasn't chosen as VP, do you vote the person or the party, sex or issues, race or agenda? We'll see how this all affects the economy and healthcare, and how long this war is stretched out (100 years anyone?). Well, let me stop while i'm ahead, the story about her daughter is below. Check out how many right wing conservatives and religious folk jump in to her defense. This whole thing is sick and sad. Y'all know who's got my vote.
ST. PAUL, Minn. - John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin said Monday that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant, an announcement campaign aides said was aimed at rebutting Internet rumors that Palin's youngest son, born in April, was actually her daughter's.

A statement released by the campaign said that Bristol Palin will keep her baby and marry the child's father. Bristol Palin's baby is due in late December.

"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents," Sarah and Todd Palin said in the brief statement.

Sarah Palin's fifth child, a son named Trig, was born in April with Down syndrome. Internet bloggers have been suggesting that the child was actually born to Bristol Palin but that her mother, the 44-year-old Alaska governor, claimed to be the mother.

"Senator McCain's view is this is a private family matter. As parents, (the Palins) love their daughter unconditionally and are going to support their daughter," said McCain spokesman Steve Schmidt.

"Life happens," he said.

"An American family," added Salter.

The advisers said Palin told them about the pregnancy during lengthy discussions about her background. At several points during the discussions, McCain's team warned Palin that the scrutiny into her private life would be intense and that there was nothing she could do to prepare for it.

Prominent religious conservatives, many of whom have been lukewarm toward McCain's candidacy, predicted that Palin's daughter's pregnancy would not diminish conservative Christian enthusiasm over the vice presidential hopeful.

"I think it's a very private matter," said Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition of America. "It's a matter that should stay in the family and they have to work through it together. My prayers go out to them."

Added Combs: "We're excited about the governor and think she's going to do well."

Mathew Staver, dean of Liberty University School of Law, said: "We're all sinners."

"We all make mistakes. Certainly, the ideal is not to get pregnant out of wedlock. But she made the right decision after her mistake," he said.

Staver also criticized anyone who would seek to make it a negative campaign issue: "It's absolutely shameful to put her child in the spotlight. She's not running for office. When someone can't face issues, they try to tear down a family."

____

Associated Press Writers Eric Gorski in St. Paul and Steve Quinn in Anchorage, Alaska, contributed to this report.

Foul mouthed lil' kid...


*SMH* (NSFW)
I know that's a lot of internet jargon, but this isn't safe for work...

Saturday, August 30, 2008

I love weddings


Humming, "it's sooo good loving somebody, when somebody loves you back, and that's a fact!"
Congrats to the newlyweds! Tavon and Candy

Phew, nephew that is...



It's been two and a half years since my nephew was born and he's never spent the night with me, until tonight that is. I haven't really child-proofed my house yet but it's about 9:30pm and it's dark outside, I'll be taking him over my mom's before church (I ain't ready for that yet) so we'll see what adventures his visit will bring. I am working on being a better auntie. I've taken him places before and he's been over my house, just never slept here. I don't have any children yet so we'll see what this does to my perception of what it's like. Yeah, yeah, I know it's only overnight but this is a first for me. He's not potty-trained and he's quite rambunctious. I don't usually cut the TV on and it's usually pin-drop quiet in here. I have a few toys in the closet and if all else fails i've got crayons and notebooks with notes from Antioch and Sinclair. I want children, I really do. I'm not sure what God has in mind for me, i'm approaching 30 and my clock is ticking. If I don't have children naturally, i've been considering adopting, although there's a lot to ponder about that. I want a child that looks like me and that was made in love with someone special, someone who gives me their last name. Perhaps i'm taking this a bit far but hey, i'm just thinking and blogging, blogging and thinking. This is my train of thought, raw and un-edited. Don't take me to seriously. Well perhaps I should go, make sure all knives are away and make sure there's no dangerous chemicals easily accessible. So until next time. (Perhaps i'll have a story to tell)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Booty

Ok so, um...I don't really know what to say. This is uhhh, weird bruh...Kinda creepy. Don't go to prison, be on yo best behavior please...This is what they should show instead of scared straight.

What does it mean to be passive aggressive?



My name as far as this blog is concerned I am the queen of a land called passiveaggressiva...Hence my name underneath all of my posts and as the mediator of all things fly...I will say however that I never had a complete understanding of what it really means to be "PA". So as a student of pop culture and all things current I googled it to make sure I should preside over such a land. my findings were interesting, I fit the profile (kinda but not so much) it was more like a diagnosis, and honestly it's kinda sad. So I figured i'd share the wealth of knowledge, ahem: (there will be a part II to this)

The DSM IV describes this personality type as having passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational settings (DSM IV p. 733). It has also been referred to as a negativistic type of personality that involves more than just a passive resistance to demands. Included in the behaviors are fault-finding, moodiness, vascillating behavior, temper outbursts, sulkiness, with alternation between hostile assertion of self-autonomy, to dependent repentance or contrition.

Passive aggressive types are characterized by their ambivalence about themselves and others. They have difficulty making decisions, are uncomfortable with having to make them, and often leave their decisions to fate or chance, rather than having to accept the finality of a decision.

In addition to their ambivalence, they also exhibit a self-centeredness in that they need to have as many options open as possible, in order to not feel restricted or controlled, no matter what effect this has on others. If ever pinned down to making a decision, in a romantic relationship for example, they may vaguely state what they believe their partner wants to hear, only to take it back gradually, in their actions. If they are confronted about this behavior, they may exhibit anger and act as if they have been attacked and victimized, rather than own up to their ambivalence. Their goal is to postpone decisions, with the hopes that something will happen to decide for them. However, if the decision is made for them, they often backtrack to try to undo the finality of that decision.

According to some theorists (Pretzer & Beck, 1996), persons with this personality view themselves as being self-sufficient but feel vulnerable to control and interferance from others. They believe they are misunderstood by others, a view that is exacerbated by the negative responses they receive from others for their vascillations.

A primary conflict for passive aggressive types, is dependency. They fear the power of those on whom they are dependent, even if those they depend on never exert power or are not aware of the conflict. Rather than work on their own problems with this dependency, they vascillate between submissiveness and deliberate rebelliousness. Their relationships suffer because partners, friends, and/or family members cannot decipher or understand their evasiveness as attempts at independence. Often the passive aggressive person is not entirely conscious of his/her behavior.

Sometimes the passive aggressive person (PA for brevity) is acting against internal pressure rather than real expectations from others. The PA imagines everyone in his/her life to be making unreasonable demands. Often the PA is correctly perceiving that significant others have expectations of them, which triggers the dependency vs self-sufficient conflict, to which they act out accordingly. With so much internal conflict and energy spent on battling with the feelings that are generated (feelings of imprisonment real or imagined, feelings of limitations from making decisions, feelings of entitlement, etc.), there is little energy left to look at the self.

The underlying conficts typically are rooted in childhood, where one or both parents did not allow the child to win any battles of self-assertion or power. The child only had the option of asserting him/herself via passive, hidden tactics. Since children "know" on some level, that they are dependent on their parents, openly asserting themselves when their parents have worked against this, would not be an option.

On a preconscious level the child, who is too intellectually immature to question his/her parents, would pick up on behavioral ques, even if the communication from the parents was not overt. The impressions or conditioning the child would receive regarding assertion, aggression, individuation, would mold the child into picking other options for self-assertion. Since all living beings need to assert themselves, inhibiting that to a great extent assures alternate routes of expression to be found, whether they are adaptive or not. Displacement of this anxiety or conflict, onto present-day relationships of the adult PA, keeps the PA involved in the struggle with individuation, that could be resolved if the original conflict were addressed.

Being PA does not mean one is not as aggressive as openly aggressive types. It means that the aggression is hidden, not open, but still expressed. PAs can be even more aggressive while preserving their own belief in their passive nature. The aim of the behavior is to aggress while hiding and appearing passive.

Some theorists have considered that the PA may have been constitutionally more aggressive or sensitive as a baby. A parent might naturally try to curb aggressiveness in a toddler without considering future behavioral consequences.

Passive aggressive behavior has been confused with narcissistic behaivor since the PA behaviors can have a narcissistic self-serving quality. However, PA behaviors exist in different personality types and not exclusively in narcissistic types

I need a tip drill? Get over it already!

I should be a better blogger, really I should...I'm on the computer a lot, everyday in fact and I have so many things I want to talk about, so many things on my mind and I tend to look at my blog and then find something else to do.
Today I had a conversation with a friend about a video clip I saw yesterday of Nelly being intervied by a radio personality who mentions the dreaded "Tip Drill" video. I just kept thinking to myself, how many times and ways can people make Nelly pay for that video? Do I think it was mysogynistic? yes. Is he more responsible than other artists both black and white, BET videos, Paris Hilton, the modeling industry in whole? No. Do I think that all that he donates to charity should be overshadowed by something that was recorded years ago? No. I just think that the media likes to harpoon black celebs on their downfalls and in turn exploits them at their worst moments and will not let them move beyond controversy. Well just in case you'd like to know what i'm talking bout...This chick is killin' me...

Friday, August 15, 2008

A virgin at the auction

So yesterday I decided to go to my first auction. And as always there is a story. So my co-worker and I decide to go to a luxury home auction also the contents of a cleaning business. There were no minimums required. So when we arrive, I notice that luxury was an understatement, the homes in the gated community started at about 700,000. I didn't even feel like I was in Dayton...The family was downsizing. They auctioned off everything from furniture to books to grills to pianos to an air hockey table and more...Upon arrival, I notice a small mob gathering around a table, there was mostly junk on it and the auctioneer started the prices at around $5 per box and eventually auctioned all the tiems on the table for around about $12.50. There was every business book and manual known to man, childrens movies, and pots and pans. Now I just wanted to see what it was like so I only had $10 at the time. I really wanted some of that stuff, but here's the interesting part of the day.
Some of the people hoarded their wares off to the side after they won their bids. Afterwards people were willing to sell some of their items. So a co-worker and I looked over at a bucket of umbrellas, really really good expensive umbrellas, that she told me were auctioned off at about $25 for the entire bucket. So this white guy, nicely dressed, a businessman obviously, came peering over asking if we were interested in anything from his pile, and so we looked. Some things interesting, some not. But I say a really fancy umbrella, and I offered him $5 for it, after all he'd gotten a bucket of about 12 high quality umbrellas for %25, he looked at me absurdly almost insulted, he said "Do you know these retail for over $35 each?" I replied, "but you bought these used for the price of one" so he asked me to go higher, and I said forget it. So I see a stock pot, i've been needing on of these lately, and I offered him a dollar then 2, to get the same type of look and he said $5 and I said ok. My co-worker an auction guru, kept fanning and waving for me not to buy it but I did, she later told me that at estate auctions you can get better pots, whole boxes of them for like $1. So i'm dumbfounded, wanting my money back after all I only had $10. So I attempt to get my money back and this guy looked and me very sternly and abrubtly saying "but you already bought it, thank you though".
I decided I was done. I had to re-think going into business. I'll explore more later. My break is over.
To be continued....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Today is...

Ok so it's here...My b-day
I've been here 28 years still trying to figure out what to do next.
It's not a big deal anymore I guess...
I'm having an all out paaaaaarrrrttttaaay on my 30th birthday though!!!