Feeding the poor is like...

A woman comes into the office obviously ashamed because of what she has to do. She tells me over and over again that she's never done this before and that she doesn't know what she is doing. Her pride kept her from coming sooner but now her situation is dire, but she doesn't want to be like "one of them". A friend told her about public assistance and where to go so finally at her wits end here she is standing in front of me near tears holding a lump in her throat handing me what she considers a piece of her dignity. I am empathetic but I understand the reality, people need help sometimes. Shame comes from what our parents tell us about "welfare" and we have our our own perceptions and judgements about "those people". It's a reality check when the tables are turned and your state has the highest unemployment rate in the nation. When your spouse is unemployed and overqualified for most of the jobs that are availble. When you are running out of the basic necessities and your home is facing foreclosure and somehow all you can think about is how awful it makes you if you have to apply for government help. Even thought you paid taxes your whole life that benefits this kind of help, you don't want to be labeled. I could understand but I also see the flaw in that mode of thinking, but it's my personal opinion and I don't want to use this as a platform on how I feel about welfare and the prideful. I say all that to say this. It's people like SC Lt. Govenor Andre Bauer that help form the ideology in this nation that devalues an entire class and demographic of people. So this guy makes a bold comparison of people receiving public assistance to feeding stray animals. At a town hall meeting Thursday, Bauer, who is running for governor in his own right now that Sanford is term-limited, said: "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that." I mean it's like saying that if you feed the poor then they'll have have kids, so let them starve because we don't want that problem. If we as a nation gan give BILLIONS in foreign aid and donate to other countries in need, then why do so many people have a problem with helping our poor? Here's the thing, welfare "ain't" what it used to be, since welfare reform and the government instituted the welfare to work programs there is a limit on how long a person can even receive certain benefits. Also there isn't just the generational poverty we're dealing with now, it's situational poverty. What happens when a person that's been laid off after working at a factory for 20 years and has depleted their savings with no job opportunities immediately and unemployment's barely enough to pay the bills let alone feed the family, what to they do? Starve? As a Christian, I believe in charity, giving to the poor and being a need meeter, it's part of my calling to give. I just can't understand how he could build up the gall to say those things. Republicans lately have been going for the shock factor and actually publically verbalizing their racist, elitist, bigoted thoughts and I don't like it at all. From what I understand Bauer recieved free lunches as a child, so it's the same concept somebody else is paying for the food that you eat. Shut up and sit down Andre Bauer.

That thing...

So I came across this article from Wale and I have to say i'm impressed, he has a gritty yet fresh and honest perspective on sex and relationships. Never met anyone like him but i'd love to.
Love got your panties in a bunch? Drop trou and @honeymag’s resident sexpert, will answer your juiciest questions. So get @Wale and spill it.

Wale: The irony in the pursuit of success is that once some of us achieve the dream we swore we wanted, the things that were important on the road to it tend to deteriorate — family, “friends” and often love.

When I was in early high school, I would chant nonsense like money over bitches. Looking back, I cringe. After failed relationships, failed “flings,” failed attempts at being a gigolo, player, or anything under that umbrella, I made a self declaration that 2010 will be the year of #thatthing. #thatthing is an absolute anomaly. It’s unexplainable. It soothes, it kills, it holds, it harms. It literally can grant life or death with one touch. And for this reason, many of us wear masks, metaphorically of course. Masks that cover insecurities. Masks that prevent #thatthing from capturing you in its relentless clutch. The fear of being hurt, for some, is far more important then the joy of being in love.

Women, how many men have you met who surround themselves around so many women, they wouldn’t be able to distinguish “the one” if she were right under his nose? I propose the same question to the dudes: Have you ever courted someone and did everything in your power to make her “open her eyes” (Bobby Caldwell x Common)? Yet she still wants to be in the club every other day or she tells you she doesn’t want commitment. That is her trying not to be vulnerable. That is the proverbial wall that can’t be penetrated because even the briefest daydream of #thatthing will send her into shock. #thatthing has the staring role in life’s movie. A nigga may have never experienced #thatthing, but his mother/father/sister/brother/teammate’s experiences may have been enough to instill the fear. A woman may never have experienced that thing, but her homegirl/bestfriend/play-cousin just may have made a fool of herself at a local club, go-go, movie theater or mall because of #thatthing.



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I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. I literally drove down South Dakota Avenue with a North Face coat (the big joint) some basketball shorts, a wifebeater, and Timberlands. (Nike boots were muddy) on a summer night, because I wanted to show her "how real these tears are."
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I’ve decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. I literally drove down South Dakota Avenue with a North Face coat (the big joint) some basketball shorts, a wifebeater, and Timberlands. (Nike boots were muddy) on a summer night, because I wanted to show her “how real these tears are.” I can laugh at myself now, but at the time #thatthing had me lunchin’.

Ladies, Gents — #thatthing don’t give a fuck what she/he looks like, either. Many of us have fallen victim to the I-can’t-believe-I-used-to-sleep-with-that-monstrosity syndrome. Another result of #thatthing. For fear of hurting someone’s feelings (and encouraging an angry woman to stalk me), let’s just say I once was so caught up in #thatthing, I looked past several character flaws (as well as physical) for an extended period of time.

I have to ask myself why. Is it the thrill of chase? Spending nights under the covers talking about nothing? Your partner is so “perfect” that just to hear their breath is the most tranquil feeling in the world (and completely trumps a quick nut from a jump-off.) Her sex is so good I look past the fact that she has no job, no car, no ambition, and no drive. Or ladies — maybe he f*%cks so good that you forget that he has six children and he’s only 25. The most proud can be publicly foolish. The shy guy can transform into the most outspoken. The moment your heart and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you’re probably caught up in #thatthing.

My pursuit of #thatthing is a difficult one. I like to consider myself an unrecognizable famous person, meaning I can still do the things most 25-year-old employed black men can do, without too much attention. But at the same time, a lot of these women know who I am, (albeit never heard a song. LOL.) This is where the pessimism starts to creep in. And the paranoia that guides my judgment when exchanging numbers. Why does she want to talk to me? How long till she tells me she’s a model? I met Jay-Z in ‘99 he said he was gonna sign me. Can you ask him if we’re still good? Situations like this make the pursuit of #thatthing just as hard as shaking it off once acquired.

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