Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Please say the baby


I'm sure if Baby had a uterus, he woulda been pregnant by now with Wayne's seed. Come on, I don't usually get into the gossip/rumor/mish mosh but this is a tad extra, don't you think? Just in case you're wondering that's Lil Wayne's birthdate tatted on Baby's arm. That, along with the million dollar watch (Chopard I think) and then a diamond studded birthday cake. What do I have to do to get on his birthday list?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Free Lunch


I heard through the grapevine that Barack Obama was forgiving student loan debt, so for the last few days i've been researching what seems to be the biggest fluke of all time. I've checked, change.gov, barackobama.gov, thewhitehouse.gov and all the other ".gov's" I could think of including ed.gov, and so far have come up fruitless. I did however, come up with an article (quite interesting by the way) at the huffington post entitled "Forgiving Student Loan Debt would Stimulate the Economy" which led me to another article that relates to the ad above, then I went to another that compares parack obama to "Felix the Cat" saying just like the cartoon character, saying he's "black and lucky". I'm thinking whoa, critics are going hard, in ways that make me feel that he won't catch a break no matter what. The thing is, since he's become president people seem to view the president's position as commander in cheif as if it were just some gig, some job or like he's some Joe Schmo, to be compared amongst the likes of general plumbers or contractors. And I know why...This article bothers me but it's kinda funny, I mean for real? You've got to be kidding...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Dreams

So something has happened to bring me out of hiding...E-hiding that is, and that is the reason for this post. Let me first say that there is no huge reason i've stopped blogging, it's simple, I don't have the internet at home. If anyone would like to donate, then feel free, feel free...Anywho
I had this dream last night, a strange dream...That I'd delivered a baby, a baby I didn't know I was carrying. And the thing that was more strange was that I had the baby at home, and then took the baby to the hospital, and left myself without delivering the afterbirth or anything. No medical care for myself, then I went home to figure out who the dad could be, I calculated nine months, and figured it must have been my ex, even though that was in fact impossible. I called him and told him about everything, then tried to figure out how to tell my current boyfriend. So then the next thing I remember is going over my Mom's to tell her and see if she could take me to the hospital, when I remembered I don't have a carseat. So I told my little sister who really is pregnant that I will just have to use her baby's stuff since she's still pregnant. So then my Mom takes me to the hospital and we get lost on the way and when we finally get there,I tell the nurse in triage that I had a baby, dropped him off, then left without getting my DNC (which by the way if i'm not mistaken is the procedure that happens after a woman miscarries) I don't remember what they did to me, I vaguely remember what my baby looked like but I do remember I had a son though. I remember thinking "what am I going to do now???" and thinking, I have to go on maternity leave.
Strange, strange, I don't know what the dream means (if anything) but I do remember waking up this morning confused, wondering if I should go to the hospital to claim my baby.
Can anyone interpret dreams?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dwight Howard

Where have you been all my life?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dating blurb.

So i'm a thinker...It has it's advantages and disadvantages, more "dis" than "ad" but heeeey...I tend to analyze myself, you know, figure me out, if that is at all possible, sometimes I just give up. Since i'm 28 and unwed, I do a lot of thinking about whether it is my personality that's perhaps a barrier in my relationships, or if it's more cosmic, perhaps just hasn't been in the stars for me yet. Who knows??? Now lately i've been meeting a lot of guys, but then that's it...Things fizzle for one reason or another. I guess it's not atypical for where I live. i know a lot of people in the same pickle, meing maried seems more the exception than the rule. What i'm starting to notice about myself is that there are certain types of men that are bad for me, but for some reason I have a hard time avoiding those types, let me give you a lil background...I grew up subsudized housing, not really the hood but just some apartments, mama never worked, daddy wasn't there but I did have a father figure in the home...I had a few issues, didnt always do things the right way but I managed to graduate high school and then go away to college fast forward 11 years, and here I am pondering the mis-steps. When I went to college a lot of things changed about me, but to my core, I can't help but think i'm still that shy, aprehensive, cautious, big-hearted, passive aggressive, artsy, gullable, overthinker that I always was...Being that way didn't pan out so well growing up, with men. In short and for the sake of time i'll condense what i'm trying to say that dealing with some people can make me regress to my teenage years and that's not good.
That's all, I just wanted to post an observation about myself, now I have to go...ttyl

Friday, May 22, 2009

Birthday Kecks

I listen to Russ Parr in the morning, it helps me keep track of the time...When they do horoscopes that's my que to get in the shower, and when Alfreda's "hot off the Wire" comes on, then I know I need to get out the shower etc...So I hear some interesting songs, some crazy songs including "Halle Berry" then there's the Lil Wayne song that says "...they muggin me, you know i'm muggin back" or something to that extent, but the most bothersone one is "Birthday Sex" bow, I actually like the melody of the song, just not for the radio and here's why...My nephew was singing this new song called they play on the radio that I just mentioned called "birthday sex" but since he's three he walks around the house singing "birthday kecks, birthday kecks". It's a shame, whatever happened to FCC censorship????? Can't even listen to the radio these days. *SMH* I'm just glad he doesn't know they're really saying sex because for some reason he busts (sic) out singing it all the time, so much so that the song "Birthday Kecks" is stuck in my head. My sister is trying to make him say Birthday gifts, we'll see how that goes.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Men are from Mars...A Question

So yesterday a friend and I were having a conversation about relationship themed books. She said that she definitely not be reading "Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey, but would eventually like to read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I just recently met someone who I really enjoy, I think this could be serious, so I thought to myself, hmmm....Maybe I should read the book too, just to get a lil insight on how men think, because I tell ya, i'm clueless. I'm a stereotypical woman, I am emotional, want my concerns to be acknowledged, passive aggressive...Men seem sooo the opposite, non emotional, passive, and some can be abrasive. So I googled the book to see what i'd come up with and on Wikipedia, they posted a synopsis of some of the views discussed in the book...like,

The point system
Gray suggests that men and women count (or score) the giving and receiving of love differently. For men, they tend to give larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points etc.) whereas for women they give each act of love one point at a time.

Men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops. This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the relationship back into balance.

Example: A man might count a $200 present as 20 points, but a woman will count each individual piece of the present as 1 point each. For her, the total sum of points comes from the present as a whole. For example, the different parts of the environment where the present is given each get 1 point (candles, music, privacy, location etc.) the card gets 1 point, the flowers get 1 point, the gift wrap gets 1 point and the gift itself gets 1 point. Their totals may even out to be the same, but it's the act of scoring that is different.

The emotional stroke delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks his work has earned 20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
________________________________________
The cave and the wave
Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand, many times this is a "time-out" of sorts to allow them to distance themselves from the problems so their brains can focus on something else. This allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.

This has historically been hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman tries to grow closer. This becomes a major source of conflict between any man and woman.

The wave is a natural cycle for women that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a woman feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.

As one reviewer put it:

When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not emailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave. Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.[1]

_________________________________

So anywho, not everyone agrees with the author's views on male/female relations...For example
However, other studies do not find such differences. Erina MacGeorge found only a 2 percent difference between communication styles and argues that "when it comes to comforting, the Mars-Venus concept is not only wrong, but harmful. For the most part, men and women use, and strongly prefer, the same ways of comforting others – listening, sympathizing and giving thoughtful advice."[3]

Some feminists have criticized the book for being sexist and patronizing [4] When discussing relations with the opposite sex, one often hears the complaint, "It's like she's from another planet!", while others accuse it of being written as a 'self-improvement' book for women, blatantly suggesting that women should adapt to men's ways of communicating, rather than both genders co-operating. Susan Hamson's web site "The Rebuttal From Uranus" says:

"Despite its promotional hype, at its very core it is a sexist, patronizing, male-centered invective which does little more than perpetuate long-held negative gender stereotypes"
Hamson objects to the lack of reference and details about the research Gray claims to have made, as well as to two central points which she feels Gray makes in his book:

"that men fulfill active roles and are seen as ambitious and powerful. Women, however, satisfy passive roles"; and,
"although the author may grudgingly admit that women are cognizant human beings, they must necessarily take a back seat to the dominant male in their lives in order to routinely accommodate his wants and desires." [5]
______________________________

My question is this, to the men...Do you agree with the point theory, cave and the wave theory or something different?
Women, what do you think?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Negated Compliments

I was reading a blog entry of youngcel's about what I consider to be "negated compliments". These are not quite compliments, in fact they're usually offensive like when someone says You're cute to be dark, fat, short etc...My people I think it is common knowledge that such comments are offensive. Today for example, this young chap, about 17ish walked past me and said "You look nice today, I don't discriminate" at first it seemed like a compliment, I started to smile and say thank you when I heard the "I don't discriminate" part. WTF is that??? Like despite your flaws, I found something nice about you...Then awhile ago I went out with a few cousins when this guy (that is my cousin's friend with benefits)asked me if I wanted to get "nailed". I was like, who? damn! What? I'm not a charity case...He said "I know somebody named Peanut that would nail you" It took me half the night and a hint from his friend to figure out that he was talking about himslf. Or here's another one, when guys say things like, "I mess with big girls" i'm thinking, well I don't "mess" with ugly guys, damnit that is not a compliment. I have a friend that has been told her whole life that she has a pretty "face" and it's an inside joke that we call her "face" because people never just say that she's a pretty girl, because she's overweight, they always compliment her beautiful face.
People stop it, if you're gonna compliment somebody, just make sure you don't take it back by saying something stupid like...for a __________person.
This has been a public service announcement

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Stalker ex with something to prove

So awhile ago I posted about my ex, he comes to my job and my house to update me on the things he buys or the things he wnts me to know, like when he bought a new 300C, or like today when he came to tell me about his new motorcycle and that yeah, um...he got a new job. Now you may wonder how he can do this and just got a job, you figure it out. I'm just one nanosecond away from telling him stop stalking me to let me know how well your life is going, get a life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle or what it buys, which is why we're not together. I guess the issue is that he wants to make me think twice (or three or fifty)times about breaking up with him. Geeez!!! Who does that??????
I'm already having one of those days at work...
I need to reframe, perhaps when I have more time, i'll post an update on the world's worst first date. Well, and then on to more serious issues.
Until then

Friday, April 10, 2009

hex naw

My friend and I had this conversation about slang. I guess the discussion was about new slang and if when it's appropriate to stop it and just use the "king's english". It's funny bwcause when i'm at home around friends I grew up with, I tend to use the same slang from what I consider my first prime which was between 96 and 98. Don't turn your noses but, words'phrases like "heckie naw" "salty", I can't really think of too much right now but I can't get into the new slang, like "kiki'ing it up" what's that? I mean really...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Classifieds

SBF/28 ISO mate, preferably WIFI. Must be reliable, fast, inexpensive, not easily corruptable, and must be ready for commitment. This will be for primary use with my Gateway laptop, but must accept my old HP as this is a package deal. Help please, I need to blog.

Friday, February 27, 2009

In them jeans...

This morning, I woke up with a plan. Since today is Friday, I thought i'd dress down for work, for casual friday. I had my outfit outlined, a turquoise warm up jacket with my new Levi's, they fit just right (I don't wear jeans often) and a pair of new Air Max to match my top-you know it's income tax season and black folk got (sic) new clothes... Now of course you know something had to go wrong because I'm blogging about it. I took my jeans out of the bag and they still had the ink tag on them, now i've lost the receipt so I know some drama will ensue. I didn't have a backup fit, so I panicked, the situation was bad, what's worse is that I got up early, but I had to compromise my extra time advantage to look for something else to wear (and iron it).Now I have to take the jeans back without the receipt and I know the alarms will start going off as soon as I come in the store and the clerks will look at me like, "yeah, she's a booster" how else can I explain not having the receipt? I had plans for those jeans. They fit a lil tight so, I thought they would accentuate the positive. It's a hard job finding jeans that are the right fit. I think most ladies can attest to that, I have about twelve pairs (is that proper english?) of jeans and not one that fit me in a way that makes me feel good. Most of my jeans either have the saggy crotch, big waist (i'm constantly pulling them up), low rise (no one wants to see butt cleavage), floods, too baggy aroung the thigh area or won't zip. This is a really serious issue, but it's friday and I got it figured out, just a lil sweat off the top of the brow. Men, do y'all have that problem with finding the right jeans? Or is that a woman thang?
Peace out, have a good weekend!!!!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

In with the new...

Ok, so I tried something new, I had my hair dyed Black. I'm naturally Brown, I even had my hair cut, it's not drastic but definitely noticeable. I'll be posting pics as soon as I can get to a free wi-fi connection (ain't that sad?). I didn't get around to the sushi thing, but this weekend i'll definitely continue with this idea...
In other random news, I saw the most beautiful little girl, she wasn't from this country, my guess would be Ethiopia, her name is Sephora. I'll have to google what it means, the only other time i've heard that name is from the Sephora beauty franchise.
I was really happy yesterday, the sun was shining, I felt good, and it was just an overall good day. I'd like to continue on that trend, today i'm a little less than yesterday but still good nonetheless. I can't wait for Spring!!!
Oh and in regards to my most recent passive agressive post (pt II) HE'S GONE!!!!!
It's finally over. Wooo freakin hooo!!!!
Ok I've gotta go, but there's more to come.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Something Pink, Blue, Old...

Just sitting here, should be working, but thinking about the weekend. I've got the inclination to try something new. Maybe i'll try a new venue, a new food, a new book, coffee spot etc...So this weekend, i'll be venturing outside my comfort zone and hopefully i'll encroach upon an interesting find, perhaps i'll blog about it and take pictures. I've decided one of the new things already and that's to get my hair cut and dyed. Next i'm gonna try sushi (nothing too adventurous) perhaps a california roll or something cooked like tempura. I've even given thought to changing some things around at home. Last week in an effort to re-gain my youth, I bought a pair of gym shoes, they're Air force One's that are black/grey/hot pink, I doubt i'll ever wear them seeing as though I wear slacks even on weekends, and they're not exactly workout shoes, I just bought them on an impulse. Has anyone tried anything new recently? Is there anything you'd like to do outside of your normal comfort zone?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Happy Black History Month


Dey got all our stuff on sale (sic)

This is a real ad from a grocery store. I got it from concrete loop and had to share. Grape soda though?

Friday, February 06, 2009

best friend vs. boyfriend

This has to be short because i've got to go.
So a friend of mine just called me hysterically apologizing to me. I know that she'd been in an argument with her fiance about what time we came back from the gym last night. Our personal trainer stays late nights because most of his clients get off of work after 6:00pm. We usually don't leave the gym until 11:00pm, we try to leave sooner but we rarely get there before 8:00pm, we also talk. My friend and I have been friends for 18 years. Her phone call was to let me know we couldn't be friends anymore. She doesn't have family, it's just her and her mom so the desire of her heart since a young child was to be married and have a family. She and her fiance have been dating for about 3 years and have changed wedding dates more times than I care to count. He's a religious guy, I mean a "superChristian", he's very strict with her, her whole life revolves around him and his 2 daughters which he just gained sole custody of (from a recent divorce, this would make his 3rd marriage) their relationship is different to say the least. I don't ever make the mistake of telling her to leave him for 3 reasons. It's none of my business, she'd be with him anyway, and because she'd just tell him one day and he'd resent me, that's a decision she'll have to make on her own. So anywho, fast forward today, it took me by surprise, the phone call hurt, I was confused, and just completely taken off guard. I'm all crying at work, wondering what kamikaze wind just came by my cubicle. I'm upset a lil, because he's controlling and he just made her get rid of her only friend. Even more because she's crying uncontrollably and is in a mess. I do understand I am the "single" friend and that's usually a problem in most marriages, but I try to give her encouragement without giving her advice, I mean I try to quote scripture to help encourage her. This is classic best friend vs. the boyfriend, except i'm not fighting. I couldn't see myself letting go of a true friend if she hasn't done anything wrong, now I do understand that when you marry, things change. You and your BFF don't see each other or hang out or sit and talk on the phone like you once did, but you shouldn't have to give up the entire friendship unless there is a different issue at hand. I told my friend I support her in whatever she does, and hell I can't give her the family life so it makes sense for her follow her heart in this one. A friendship of 18 years ended with a phone call goodbye and i'm sitting here wondering wtf?
This year has been a strange one, especially with friendships. I don't know what lesson i'm supposed to get out of this but man, I hope this season will be over soon.

Friday, January 30, 2009

P.A. (Part 2) Situation One

Think it, say it, do it.

So I am an introvert, passive aggressive, a thinker, emotional, compassionate, a compulsive spender, over-eater, argumentative, sweet, humble, coy, giving, confused, indecisive, strong willed, offended easily, poetic, private, open, impatient, happy for the most part, jovial, competitive, friendly…I could say more, there’s much more, but for the sake of this blog post, you’ve read some facets of my personality. Now, here’s the thing, some parts of me conflict with others. I’m a classic passive aggressive, Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious.

Situation One.
My friend’s brother came into town, he’d been living here for about 6 months prior to me seeing him for the first time. When I first bumped into him we exchanged formalities and was relatively happy to see each other again. We were never close, we’d just spent some time together with his sister and family growing up when they all lived in Columbus. Back in December we re-aquainted and hit it off pretty well. Things happened fast, and one day he hit me with it. The question, the question I’ve been asked several times but hate to be asked. Let me backtrack, He’d been staying with his mom for the duration of his stay here, he didn’t mention her much. Until this one day, when I saw him he seemed upset, he told me he and his mom had been in an argument and she put him out, out on the streets. We’d had a long, long conversation about his life since we were adolescents and to “make a long story short” he’d been married and divorced (since ’03), was working in a nearby city, made $26.00 and hour, was laid off, lost his car and apartment, came back here to start anew. He’d never been without work, and so on and so forth. I felt bad, que the violins. Impulsive and gullable, I offer for him to stay for a few weeks until he can find somewhere else to go (he does have other family here), and he’s very thankful in the beginning, he also said he had a job lined up for January. It goes downhill from there. Fast forward today, he’s been here for a month and two weeks, we barely talk, he doesn’t clean, only bathes once a week, eats a lot, doesn’t flush the toilet or lock the door, smokes in the house (despite me telling him not to) still doesn’t have a job, and relies on me for transportation (I put a stop to that a few weeks ago) and things have soured quickly. I should probably mention that the job that was supposed to be lined up for January was a fluke a bold faced lie. Now the issue at hand is putting him put, letting him know it isn’t working. Here’s the psssive aggressive part, I’ve known it wasn’t going to work for about 2 and a half weeks now and instead of telling him he has to go, I just make it extremely uncomfortable for him to stay, and rather agressively push him out with my actions. I know that the proper thing for me to do is tell it like it is but…that doesn’t come easy to me. I dodge unpleasant situations by avoiding confrontation, there! I said it. To put it in technical terms, When the behaviors are part of a person's personality style, repercussions are not usually immediate, but instead accumulate over time as the individuals affected by the person come to recognize the disavowed aggression coming from that person. People with this personality style are often quite unconscious of their impact on others, and thus may be genuinely dismayed when held to account for the inconvenience or discomfort caused by their passive-aggressive behaviors. In that context, they fail to see how they might have provoked a negative response, so they feel misunderstood, held to unreasonable standards, and/or put-upon. Remedying this behavior can be difficult: efforts to convince the subject (ME) that their unconscious feelings are being expressed passively, and that the passive expression of those feelings (their behavior) invokes other people's anger or disappointment with the person, are often met with resistance. To me, most importantly, Anger turned inwards that has no other way to heal or express itself will either turn into depression, or passive aggression. In short, because this is my personality type, I’m having a problem going to him and telling him he has to go. It seems no easy way to say it, I hate conflict and I’ve got a feeling it’s coming. Any suggestions on how to approach this situation?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

on Annie Hall and others...

I don’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member-groucho marx (via Alvy Singer, Annie Hall)

The absolute best Woody Allen film has got to be Annie Hall. It’s neurotic, silly, witty, and on the money when it comes to relationships. Smart people amuse me, I’ve been watching films this week that have to do with intellectual idiots. People who have to high I.Q.’s but socially inept with gaping emotional voids, the first film was Dan in real life. I’ll watch anything with Steve Carrell in it, in the movie, he’s this widowed newspaper columnist who is left to care for his three daughters alone and without going deep into the plot of the film, the protagonist is smart, stable, cares for his family but is alone, at the beginning of the movie anyway… He finds love, the smart lonely widowed guy finds love. Then there was “smart people” Where the protagonist is this widowed college professor that is all too self involved. He has two children, one of which is played by Ellen Page (I hate this role for her) her character is both going in the right and wrong direction at the same time. On one hand, she’s doing well, top of her class, headed to an ivy league school, but with no friends, infatuated with her “adopted” uncle. On top of all that, she needs a mother, she's turning into a stepford wife and feeling unappreciated and lacking love most all. The smart guy of the movie, gets the girl (it's kinda random that they chose Sarah Jessica Parker for the role) and has the kids, and there seemed to be no real resolution for Ellen's character. You know, I was listening to Chris Rock talk, not telling jokes and he said something profound about comedians, he said that they are very aware of their surroundings and explained how the cliche goes "ignorance is bliss", rock then says "what's the opposite of that? Being aware of everything, now that's hell" or something like that, and at least in movies it seems to ring true. Last but not least, the most quotable film in history Annie Hall starring Allen himself. I love it, my favorite line came at it's opening and seems to describe most of the hopeless romantics I know, the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.

More quotabes...(from the IMDB)
Alvy Singer: That sex was the most fun I've ever had without laughing
--------------------
[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street]
Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?
Female street stranger: Yeah.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?
Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Male street stranger: And I'm exactly the same way.
Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That's very interesting. So you've managed to work out something?
--------------------------
Alvy Singer: I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
---------------------------
Alvy Singer: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?
---------------------------
Alvy Singer: It's mental masturbation!
Annie Hall: And you would know all about THAT, wouldn't you?
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
--------------------------
Annie Hall: So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Alvy Singer: Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.
--------------------------
Alvy Singer: They did not take me in the Army. I was, um, interestingly enough, I was, I was 4-P. Yes. In the, in the event of war, I'm a hostage
--------------------------
Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.
---------------------------
Alvy Singer: Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.
---------------------------
Annie's family and Alvy's family converse through a split screen]
Mom Hall: How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer?
Alvy's Mom: We fast.
Dad Hall: Fast?
Alvy's Dad: No food. You know, to atone for our sins.
Mom Hall: What sins? I don't understand.
Alvy's Dad: To tell you the truth, neither do we.
---------------------------
[Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen]
Alvy Singer's Therapist: How often do you sleep together?
Annie Hall's Therapist: Do you have sex often?
Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
Annie Hall: [annoyed] Constantly. I'd say three times a week.
----------------------------
Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Political blurb: The stimulus plan

And this is why I am proud of who WE placed in office...This is the substance of a man thought to be image only...Well, wait a second, let me first explain the context of this post. Last week, I was pretty upset, stressed out, hurt, angry, emo etc...You get the point. So when the inaguration took place I had trouble getting into the moment, embracing the granduer of it all. I'd been somewhere else mentally, so this week is new, and things have been better, and all emotions aside, i've been wanting to research what's been on the agenda for the first 100 and the first issue that came to mind was the new stimulus package that our president has been trying to get passed (expediently). It brought tears to my eyes, as an employee with a retirement plan, and a student with loans who benefit from the Pell Grant, a future prospective federal government employee, county welfare civil servant, and just someone that's just trying to make it, this is important to me, this is the meat and bread of the political process, the things that are being pushed to help improve the quality of life and to decrease the effects of a deepening recession that affects us all. This is the biggest economic crisis since the second world war what happens in this first 100 days of a new administration are crucial. WE picked the right man for the job.
Obama's Stimulus Plan (via NY Times)

Obama's plan
aims to stimulate employment, certain critical economic sectors, and U.S. consumer spending. It specifies $550 billion in spending on new projects and $275 billion in tax cuts. The initial plan (PDF) includes investments for:

Energy, including $32 billion to transform the U.S. energy grid to make it more efficient; $16 billion to repair public housing and make it more energy efficient; and $6 billion to weatherize low-income homes;

Science and technology, including $10 billion for new scientific facilities and $6 billion to improve broadband Internet access in rural areas;

Infrastructure, including $30 billion for highways; $31 billion to modernize federal buildings and other public infrastructure; $19 billion for clean water, flood control, and other environmental investments; and $10 billion to improve public transit and rail infrastructure;

Education, including $41 billion for local school districts, $79 billion in outlays to states to prevent educational service cutbacks; $15.6 billion to broaden the federal Pell Grant program, which gives need-based grants to fund education; and $6 billion to modernize higher education programs;

Health care, including $87 billion for Medicaid; $20 billion to improve health information technology; and around $4 billion to improve preventative care.

The plan also includes $140 billion directed toward tax cuts of $500 per worker or $1,000 per family over two years; expanded tax credits for working poor with children; and a $2,500 college tuition credit. The House Ways and Means Committee approved the tax portion of the bill on January 22, though it has yet to pass the entire House of Representatives.

Some analysts say the Obama administration's spending on economic stimulus will be broader than what's included in the stimulus spending plan. "You've got to look at the whole picture," said Adam Posen of the Peterson Institute for International Economics in a January 2009 interview (PDF). Posen and several other analysts have noted that stimulus spending could come in many ways beyond what's in the plan, including:

The Treasury's $700 billion in TARP funds, initially aimed at stabilizing the financial sector, seems likely to be used to provide relief to other industries and "for things that look more like stimulus and less like asset purchases," according to Posen;

Automatic economic stabilizers like extensions of unemployment insurance;

Expansions of health insurance;

Some form of "mortgage relief" aimed at helping Americans facing default;

Federal Reserve purchases of mortgage-backed securities and perhaps other types of distressed securities in the future; and

An expanded GI bill for returning veterans

How Economic Stimulus Works

Economic or "fiscal" stimulus stands in contrast to monetary stimulus, a process through which the U.S. Federal Reserve Board adjusts interest rates to encourage or discourage lending. By 2009, the Fed had lowered rates to near zero. Because it can't lower rates below zero (which would amount to lenders paying people to take a loan), the Fed had few remaining policy options. Economic stimulus is another means by which a government can seek to boost its economy, either in the short term, by encouraging consumers or companies to consume goods, or in the longer term, by encouraging the growth of businesses and the creation of jobs through investments in infrastructure and research.

There are many different forms of potential economic stimulus and they work in different ways. Tax cuts for individuals generally encourage short-term spending. Tax cuts for companies encourage both spending and investment. Expenditures on public works create contracts for firms and provide short- to medium-term employment opportunities. Investments in research and development take a longer-term approach under the theory that businesses will thrive in the future (and thus provide jobs) if they have the money to make intelligent investments in their operations now.

Finally, some forms of economic stimulus seek to make investments that will pay off in the long run by making consumption cheaper for everybody. An example is investing in the U.S. energy grid. Theoretically, a one-time outlay could make energy costs for both individuals and businesses less expensive for decades to come. Similar arguments are made about health care spending. Critics say an outdated and illogical health care system presents significant costs for U.S. businesses that could be eased through front-end investments. Obama has called attention to both energy and health care as sectors in which infrastructure investments could help make U.S. firms more competitive internationally. Other countries, including China, have similarly focused stimulus spending on infrastructure development.

A blogger milestone

Whoo hoo!!! I just realized I reached the 100th post mark.
I remember a time not so long ago when I posted twice every three months, then blogging got good to me. Now my posts are more scarce than I would like but my neighbor got her internet cut off so now I have to buy my own wireless. I can only post from the confines of my cubicle at work during breaks or Panera when the weather permits. One of these days when I get the internet at home, i'll be able to organize this thang, make it co-hesive, add some widgets, update my blogroll, and post some pictures etc...
I even get some comments every now and then, you just don't know how that encourages me to continue on with this project I call "the gift of gab". I don't let people know I have a blog, I just let people stumble upon it.
---So thanks to Steve and Drewzee for setting me straight, Jahzie for keeping me from being over-dramatic, and all the other people that read but don't comment. It's all love.
this kinda sounds like an acceptance speech.
let me stop while i'm ahead.

Blurb one...On waving and speaking

Have you ever waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you in the first place? Have you ever...Like, waved really hard, with a smile and all, and then you notice that naw playa, it ain't you? Then you try to play it off real cool like, and then look away and start walking real fast in the other direction? Yeah, that's me, i'm the queen of it in fact. I work with the public, and the worst thing you can do is not speak to someone you grew up with or graduated in your 34 person graduating class (black folk love to say someone's "funny actin"). See there's this co-worker I know, real good people, Christian, always smiling and speaking, good folk. So I tried to speak to her first today, I waved really hard from a distance and uh, she didn't see me...I shook it off, no sweat off my brow. Then this other lady coming around the corner began to wave, so i look up and wave back, only to notice the person behind me waving because she really knew her. Shook that off too...But the other day, I thought I saw my former co-workers daughter who's a really sweet girl, I began waving and smiling all extra hard and even asked "where's the baby?" before I realized, that nope...It wasn't her. I've gotta stop doing that man, for my pride's sake. One's reaction time must be right, because if you react to a wave too slow, it can be perceived as forced or "flaky", then if you wave too quick, yup, it's gonna happen again, you're gonna be waving back at someone who's not waving at you.
*SMH really hard

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Inaguration (pt. 1)


I really wanted tears, but then a different thing happened. Something different altogether, something I can't put my finger on. This was a normal day, ho hum...Snow and long lines, thank you's and goodbyes, my complaining had begun, it was cold and no one gave a damn. So I sat there sniffling and thus speaking in a nasal tone, there are certain things you cannot say in a government office, the obvious was happening but it remained unspoken mostly, some cared, some permanently fixed on their cell phones, some wearing black in mourning others donned t-shirts with his face and moniker. It was all too surreal, I havent stopped to think lately, life is a series of moments, a cipher of occurences, from crisis to crisis, care to care, stress to stress. It hasn't sinked in. I used to be passionate and loving, i'm now stressed and running late, that's all there's been. So today was no different, I wanted it to be, I wanted to be proud and say something profound about life after the election of the First Black President of the United States of America. The irony is that I exist in the epicenter of America's crisis. Straddling the fence between potential and poverty one good choice away from the former and one bad choice from the latter. It is about me. This election was about me, it was an introspective, a challenge to change and action. A call to look at myself as the holder of my own fate and destiny, and I do hate to use those words, but it was. That is what it is about today, a question...What does it all mean? Why is it so significant? What will I do now? Somehow it isn't about Barack Obama, it is about...well you get it. He won't change the nation alone, racism hasn't ended, the glass ceiling does still exist, poverty is still real and changing the face of the nation, violence is still the burning pistol it always was, education is still under-received, unemployment is still about to reach 10%, HIV is still affecting a disproportianate population of African Americans compared to the other population, we are still in a recession, people are still selling their souls and so on...so on...So what will be different? If I remain unchanged, then of what value is this election to me? I understand the historical importance, I understand that it is bigger than me, I understand that it is a dream realized, I understand this is something people many people thought would never happen, I understand and don't mean to make it seem small but...I dunno, after listening to a few young republicans say that people are being caught up in the awe, and that this is sensationalism, that people didn't know the issues or why they were voting for Barack other than his race. They painted all these happy faces white with big red smiles, a round red nose and blue curly hair. Their inference was that the honeymoon will be over soon and we will go back to our normal lives void of political activity and calls to social activism and Barack Obama will fail. Kinda like Rush Limbaugh, he hopes that he fails. These things put the mirror in my face and made me feel a tad guilty at a time I should be sticking my chest out and head up, a time where I should be "choosing hope over fear". I know better, I truly do. Yesterday a woman came to my desk crying as the inaguration speech was happening on the plasma behind me, she sobbed desperately "I'm a liberal, this has been a long 8 years, I used to be a social worker but I have lost everything" she went on, "George Bush has taken everything and destroyed my family, I've lost my job, my house and my family is falling apart, so excuse me for being so emotional, but I needed this, I am just overcome with a feeling of relief, it is over, it is over..." Today is better for me, yesterday was emotional. I missed the speech, I had to catch the re-cap on the 9 o' clock news, perhaps I would have felt inspired, motivated, and had a better feeling, instead all I saw was people frowning, arms akimbo, long lines, unemployment pay stubs, requests for hardships, tears, cell phones, open doors breathing cold air in my face, pregnant women, unsigned birth certificates, child support orders, negative balances on bank statements, and people that are affected in general by the things most of us read about. Perhaps there is a more happy post to come, something that expresses the grand importance of this day, something better, another day.

The crucial answers to these questions depend not only on President Barack Obama's decisions but also on who we are and what we do. As he rightly noted in his monumental campaign, change comes from the bottom up, not the top down. Our hopes are on a tightrope, and America hangs in the balance—and we either hang together, or we hang separately. –Cornel West

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Break-up etiquette

My ex-boyfriend is like the thorn in my side. Why, oh why???? So we broke up 4th of July of 07 and it took me awhile to get that lump out of my throat, I was a lil hurt up. So he comes and visits me at work like once a month (I really don't know why the knee-grow comes around, we ain't even friends)So just a few minutes ago, he comes by and asks me to pick some info up for his Mom. Ok cool then he manages to throw in that he gave his kids a good Christmas, saying he bought Jordan's, Wii's, X-box's and all types of stuff. I'm really giving him the side eye thinkin' "oh ok, for real??" So I asked "Where's mine" speaking of a very belated gift in a joking manner and he said "I didn't even get my girl anything, I just told her to go to Foot Locker or Deveroes and get what she wants". Um, that's break-up 101's rule number one is not to mention your new girlfriend to your old girlfriend Especially when you're talking about money. Maybe I shouldn't be salty but it really eats me up. I go out of my way not to mention another guy to him, because there really isn't a reason to. So i'm like ok, joke's over get away from my desk. Neeeeeeeeeeext!!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Rambling...And a question at the end

This is a random post...I probably shouldn't do this because whatever i'm about to say is uninspired/irrelevant like the fact that I just realized what Flo-rida says in his song "Low". He sings about a girl wearing "...apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, the whole club was looking at her" and you know how life kinda imitates art?? Well I just saw a lady walking about of my office that must have taken that song quite literally...She looked like a Yeti, not everyone can do that. She was about 150 lbs past the boots with the fur limit (they were white and went halfway up her calf with long chunks of fur swinging from the top), and as a member of team chunk, I ain't really hatin' but then again I know my big girl limits, and yes there are plenty. Um, where shall I start?
1) When you go get fast food, and can't wait to get home to eat it, sit the whopper down next to you at the traffic light to avoid the stop and stare from the car next to you.
2) It is illegal to wear shoe boots with short dresses/skirts if the circumfrence of your calf is greater than most people's waist or if anyone's ever called you "tree trunk ankles" also lay off the Gladiator sandals (they weren't made with you in mind)
3) You should never wear the following garments if you are medically eligible to get the gastric bypass surgery paid by your insurance: midriffs, spaghetti strap tank tops, two piece bikini's, thigh boots, fishnet pantyhose, stilettos (if you are flat footed or if your foot is on lean)stay away from brands like baby phat or apple bottoms, and stores like "forever 21" they don't have anything in your size and no you cannot pull it off. Remember, just because you can fit it doesn't mean you should wear it.
4)Paris Hilton once hated on Kim K. by saying her thighs look like trash bags filed with cottage cheese, if that's you, we don't wanna see you wearing booty shorts or mini skirts...
Other than that do you...Big women have swag too.
In other news, I just wanted everyone to know that I have "Family Video" account, and yes that's a big deal because I have a delinquency from about 8 years ago, that remains unsettled. Anywho, I've rented a few movies, and haven't been impressed. I mean, maybe i'm picking less than stellar movies but man... I've got a healthy sense of humor, so I decided to get a few comedies, like "Tropic Thunder" and um, I've got to say I couldn't watch the move all the way through, it sucked baad. I heard there was some controversy regarding Robert Downey Jr's character in blackface, I wasn't offended, just wasn't funny. The best parts were on the trailer for the movie, maybe I shoulda hung in there but it was just a bad movie and who am I to wait for it to get better? Step Brothers was pretty funny...Will Ferrell is some kinda stoopid, I dig...Then there was my need for drama (no pun intended) so I rented Righteous Kill with Robert Deniro and Al Pacino, hell i'd watch anything with these guys in it...and it was a tad underwhelming, the plot wasn't complex, in fact a tad predictable, it was just okay, I expected so much more. So I went back to rent more movies, and was at a loss as to what's good. Anyone know of any really good recent movies that are on DVD? The only kinda movies I dont watch are of the scary persuasion (and naw, I ain't scared...well maybe a tad-but I ain't no punk)I even did a google search for the best movies and kept coming up with movies like "Titanic" I even dig indie films and documentaries. Let me know, what's your fave move and what should I rent next?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

"Victim of crime? Thank a single mother"

Don't gang up on me, I didn't say it...It was Ann Coulter who made that comment among many other disgusting statements that I will mention soon. I figure some people don't know who Ann Coulter is, according to Wikipedia,Coulter is an American conservative political commentator, syndicated columnist, and best-selling author. She frequently appears on television, radio, and as a speaker at public and private events. Known for her controversial and confrontational style, Coulter has described herself as a polemicist who likes to "stir up the pot" and, unlike "broadcasters", does not "pretend to be impartial or balanced".[1]
Coulter was promoting her newest book, "Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America," when, during an interview with Matt Lauer, she blamed the majority of society's ills on single mothers. She claims that the "liberal media" exalts the single mom, despite the fact that -- her words, not mine -- most teenage mothers, runaways, murderers and rapists can be traced back to them.

She definitely stirred up the pot this time. In her upcoming book she seems to shoot a fussilade of insults to single mothers and women in general, let me give you a little taste, shall I?
Coulter calls children whose parents divorce "future strippers" in a chapter titled "Victim of a Crime? Thank a Single Mother":
In any event, divorced mothers should be called "divorced mothers," not "single mothers." We also have a term for the youngsters involved: "the children of divorce," or as I call them, "future strippers." It is a mark of how attractive it is to be a phony victim that divorcées will often claim to belong to the more disreputable category of "single mothers." [Page 36]
Later in the chapter, Coulter writes: "Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts." [Page 38]
Coulter claims that Obama, actress Halle Berry, and musician Alicia Keys "race bait[ed] their way to success": Even grifters know that to be embraced by the cool people in America, you must claim to be a victim, preferably abused by religious fundamentalists.
In a related phenomenon, various half-black celebrities insist on representing themselves simply as "black" -- the better to race-bait their way to success. Actress Halle Berry, singer Alicia Keys, and matinee idol Barack Obama were all abandoned by their black fathers and raised by their white mothers. But instead of seeing themselves as half-white, they prefer to see the glass as half-black. They all choose to identify with the fathers who ditched them, while insulting the women who struggled to raise them.
In 2002, Berry engaged in wild race-baiting to win her Oscar and then ate up most of the awards show with an interminable acceptance speech claiming that her award was "so much bigger than me." People who say "it's bigger than me" always mean it's just about them. During the 2008 campaign, Barack Obama repeatedly said the exact same thing: "This election is bigger than me." Would they be able to pawn off their personal victories as transformative events for the nation if they were not claiming to be doing it for the blacks? [Page 7]
During a Wednesday morning visit to the "Today Show," the Queen of Conservatives unleashed her wrath on single moms and 9/11 widows, calling women who lost their husbands in the terrorist attack "griefazillas" and saying that any societal problem -- including murders and rape -- can be traced back to single moms.
Later in her visit she told Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb that 9/11 widows "advance" socially and financially using their "victimhood as a shield."
Below is an excerpt of the Circus antics Coulter displayed on "The View"
“What is your issue with single mothers?” Whoopi Goldberg inquired.

After a lengthy tirade, Coulter then took issue with the manner in which Hollywood is portraying women having children out of marriage.

“It’s the new thing, as opposed to the sex tape,” Coulter said of single moms. “Hollywood, mainstream media, the New York Times, women’s magazines, exalting single motherhood, movie after movie about single motherhood, book after book, sisters are doing it for themselves.”

Goldberg stopped Coulter’s rampage against single moms, asking, “Are you married? Do you have kids?”

“No, but it wouldn’t change the difference of the facts I cite,” Coulter said, referring to the claims she makes in her book.

“Well, it would,” Goldberg countered. “If you had children, you would know more of what you’re talking about.”


I should firstly say that Coulter is both unwed and has no children so she has no point of reference for anything she has said thus far. But then again, critics don't much need a point of reference, better yet a point worth proving. How is that single motherhood gives one a victim complex? My mother has been a single mom for most of her life, and a victim of many things, but has never exploited any of it for any type of gain or glorification, none of her children are criminals or strippers, her statements are nothing more that a prime example of an extreme hasty generalizarion. I have nothing but respect for the single parents I know, not because of their status of single mothers, but for the audacity and persistence of tackling such a task without being tragic victims, for doing something made for 2 parents and doing the best they can with what they have. And as far as the bi-racial comment, which is absurd as well, how many people that are bi-racial could really pass themselves as white unless they looked completely the part? Race isn't chosen by the parent who raised you, it is by our society who considers a person with a drop of black blood to be black. Well really, i'm about to go back to work, I have to rant on this later from my laptop when I go home...In short damn you Ann Coulter, for trying to sell a book at the expense of women.

Monday, January 12, 2009

No more free rides

No free rides.

Still a little lethargic I guess, I hate feeling grumpy in the mornings. I have to see people face to face as soon as my day starts, dry is no better than grumpy and today, everyone is getting the very dry “how can I help you” no extras, not convo, no frills…Just straight to the point and good day to you. I didn’t get enough sleep this weekend, had to chauffer a few folk around, it all started with my little sister, who decided to get micro-braids, well this common coif will set you back about $200 it usually leads to hair breaking off and takes hours to get the mout, and it takes 3 africans 8hours to complete. So my sister told me she’ll be done at 2:00am, at 2 she said it’ll be another hour and finally she calls me at 3:30am asking me to pick her up and I don’t know if you know anything about Ohio Winters but it’s not sleeting outside, a mess black ice and freezing rain. I get in my Truck that mind you has FWD, what kind of mess is that, how do you not even equip a SUV with 4 wheel drive??? So my new Durango, all shiny and cute is a dud sliding around like everyone else. It’s embarrassing, I don’t usually tell people I only have 2wd, I just act like I can drive BIG BOY in the snow like most people with trucks/SUV’s anywho… At 4:00am in the morning, my sister comes out the shop looking surprised and sleepy at the same time, her head hurts and so does her butt. That’s incident one, no sleep Friday night, had to pick my sister up from the African Head Shop pro bono, for free. Next morning my sister calls asking me to take her son to the hospital, that isn’t just a ride to the hospital, I had to pic my older sis up one direction double back, pick up my nephew from his granny’s, take her to McDonald’s, then to the hospital, now she assures me she had a ride back, I told her that I couldn’t wait or pick her back up…So what happens after I leave church, she calls me to pick her up, take her to the grocery, to Lee’s Famous Recipe, and then home…She did pay, but this time it was about time, I just didn’t feel like getting out, but I had to (or did I?) So then another friend of the fam calls me at 9:00pm Sunday for a ride, I’m a little perturbed at incident 4 because this time it’s snowing, I didn’t realize how bad the roads were, I get out and it’s a mess, no salt trucks had been out, I saw 3 highway accidents and I’m pissed cause my good fwd having car is just slip sliding at every stop and go, I pick him up and he’s not ready…You could see the steam from my head…I’m risking getting in an accident or getting a ticket from the stoplight camera to pick someone up. Now Dayton has a transit, it’s called the RTA…What gives man? I know what it’s like to need a ride, but i’m about to put my foot down, no more free rides. Gas is too high, I know it’s down from last year but $5 ain’t enough and what can be given to compensate me for my time? I hate to sound like a jerk but lately, people have been calling me more and more, and I was very limited as to who I could all for a ride when needed. 2009 just ain’t the year.