New Years (re-visited)

So were into the hmm…second week of the New Year and my life hasn’t changed as drastically as intended. I have a bulleted register of about 15 resolutions for 2008, and now with about 13 of them broken already, all I have to do now is figure out what to do now. See the illusion is that the new year is a new beginning, and it can be but it can also be September 3rd or March 29th. And I’m starting to see now that change is usually ignited not planned the week before it happens. Change for me is ignited by some triumph or disaster into a flaming ball of “must-do, can-do, will-do”. I’ve waited all year to change my life, I’ve waited till the top of the week to start my new diet, new budget or whatever else was going wrong at the time. Last year, the spark that ignited the flame came on the fourth of July ironically, independence day. Towards the latter part of the year, I lost momentum, and my progress declined and then came to a sudden halt. Yesterday I thought myself into oblivion about change…It’s like I think but don’t do because I’m slightly afraid of the vice. An important person once said, “if you’re gonna bring about change do it and be done with it”…Perhaps I should take his advice because after seeing the movie “The Great Debaters” I gawked at the thought of being mediocre. I hate the thought that I could be behind a computer for the rest of my working life and I refuse accept living a mundane life, a life of struggling for paycheck to paycheck, crisis to crisis, a life accepting defeat. I’m sorry, No Sir Ree Bobby…I grew up in subsidized housing, in generational poverty, being immoral, having low self-esteem but that to me is a place where I will never accept being again. So while now I’m far away from that not so distant past, I use that one thing that works to my advantage to stay far away from that island of woe, and that advantage is persistence. Today I’m going to gym, tomorrow, bible study and so the story goes, it is my will to live, live well indeed