An old poem I found (well, 2)

From 2005.It's interesting to re-read my work, many things i've since forgotten.

Eager to embrace
The nothingness/fullness of
My failure/greatness
I exist unsteadily between them both
Waiting for one of them
To claim me as the author of my own defeat/victory
Ive existed in theory
and stood beside reality too long
Looking out as it looks in
There has been no hard work
To match my full intent
Far too many dreams and could haves
Have come in and out my mouth
Then my foot comes following after to
Stuff my hopeful mouth
To save the world from the
Bullshit that may follow the words
Or the words that may follow the bullshit
I can say these things because
they can change
But if they stay the same let me
Embrace failure for it has been chasing
Faster than I could run
Let it have me without a fight
Because if failure comes for me
I have not believed
I have not believed in the dreams I once called bullshit
Or have not followed the plans that I compulsively create
Or haven’t believed in God to answer my prayers
Then I have given up the faith that has held me all these years
Because the only true failure is in accepting it
Without a fight

And another...(I wrote last year on my birthday)

In 27 years I have learned
That all knowledge is contextual
Change is an action
And it is okay to
want what you want but
It is better to want you need
We are led by our desires
But we are often left by them
And while I have been desiring
The warm gentle touch of a
Loving hand
I have often found myself
Caressing the backs of my
Lovers with these hopeful hands
Because as folklore says
We often give to others
What we desire ourselves
And that for me is love.